Trying

First things first. Here is your weekly reminder to please give me your Inquisition questions. You know the pertinent details. Just make sure I've got your question by Tuesday, okay? And now for your post of the day!

I'm really giving it my best shot to find a job, I really am, but then days like today happen that test my patience.

Today I went to the interview from Hell.

First off, I was called for a second interview of an initial meeting back in March 2003. Fine and dandy. I agreed to go because it was for a premier attorney in Bahrain and I quite liked him at the first meeting and was bummed I didn't get the job first time around. The woman that called didn't give me too many details over the phone, but as I recall, the pay was good in the past. But I have also noticed a high turnover rate at this law firm in the months since my last interview. What the hell, I figured, and I agreed to go.

First thing when I went in her office, we said hello, she looked at me, then said "I'm going to give you some tests.." then started rattling off information without anything for me to write notes on. Ok. Fine. Then I was seated in front of a computer that the keyboard was practically LEVEL with MY BREASTS. (Yes, it was as comic as it sounds) Then I was told "GO!" and on with the timing test with me typing like a lunatic with my hands wayyyyyyyyy up high. Sigh.

She was a particularly nasty person from right off but I did the tests then went back in the interview. She then proceeded to knock me down verbally and was very negative and the whole nine yards as she meandered through my resume. By this point, I couldn't WAIT to get out of there. I mean, look you freaking COW! I have EXCELLENT experience and 12 years of it too! And she is knocking it?? Bitch.

I tried to be as pleasant, kind and charming as I could be, but it took a lot out of me to do it. By the time that she said "Well, I don't think I need to take this any further, since you don't have enough MANAGEMENT experience, at least what I feel you need, blah blah more verbal vomit I wish you good luck in finding a job." Me: "thank you for your time, it was nice meeting you. Good day." It should have been a hint for me when I saw the look on the receptionist's face while waiting to be seen when psycho woman called her. She looked up to God for assistance and gave me the saddest face. Now it is all so clear. The worst thing? I wasted gas driving there and money for the damn meter. UGH. At least I gave it my best shot.

But hey! I bet I know the reason for the high employee turnover now, huh?

Now I am finding solace in my usual way. Cooking.

It's overcast and chilly and a bit windy if my wind chime outside is to be believed. Today there is pot roast with potatoes and carrots and corn. Fresh French bread and on the spur of the moment, I decided to do my holiday baking too! Pumpkin bread and also mincemeat cake. For the record, mincemeat cake is like a fruitcake, (no meat at ALL) but definitely, infinitely better. And also edible, unlike fruitcakes. Lots of vine fruits and apples and pears and orange rind. Perfectly spicy with nutmeg, cinnamon and allspice, raisins, dates, walnuts or pecans. Can be drizzled with whiskey, but since Z doesn't drink, sadly, it’s the non alcoholic version.

As I type this, it – everything – smells soooooo good. Who wants dinner?

A Dry Spell

I'm sorry to say, I've got nothin. But I really REALLY want to post today. A nasty case of writers block. Nasty stuff that.

So, regardless of of my lack of creative literary genius, I will instead issue a PSA.

I have recently finished forcing myself to read the book Holy Fools by Joanne Harris. In case you don't recognise the author, she is the lady that wrote Chocolat (Johnny Depp was in the movie). This has to be the only book IN MY LIFE I have ever literally forced myself to finish and suffered throughout the whole. It was such a drag that it took me one month to finish.

So what(?) you may think! Keep in mind a couple of things, if you will. 1) I am a speed reader since second grade and 2) I have no problem reading a 400-500 page book in 4-5 hours or less with excellent retention. Now then.... this precious book took me.... A FREAKING MONTH.

Why did I keep reading? Because. Well, I had nothing else to read and two... I borrowed it from a friend who got it from her MIL to be and I know, just KNOW she's gonna ask me how it was. The best part of it was.... the last two chapters. The rest of the book I had a hell of a time keeping track of who's head was up who's butt, to be honest.

So, my Good Samaritan duty for the MONTH is to tell all of you... Please, for the love of God and good books, DO NOT READ OR PAY GOOD HARD CASH FOR THIS BOOK.

A Random Observation and Brilliant Idea!!

A funny thing happened to me when I went by my local cold store down the street. This is the Bahrain version of a 7-11 or AM/PM minimart.

I was wandering down the aisle, and I happened to notice the condom display. One thing in particular caught my eye.....a product by Durex. Chocolate flavored condoms. The quote under the flavor notification was "for greater fun". This is their "Select Temptations" line. Hmmmm. Interesting.

Now normally I wouldn't notice condoms.. I mean, I"M INFERTILE, I'm 'blessed" (read: cursed) with God's own birth control. So it's not like I've really needed the damn things for the past 16 years or anything so that I noticed them at all is funny.

Chocolate flavored condoms for greater fun, eh? I suppose that this is to make giving a bl*wjob to a guy wearing a condom more fun for the woman? Yeah, whatever. So. Y'all just KNOW that my mind started wandering over this and I had an idea! (Aren't you all shivering in your boots now? I know you are!)

For REAL fun... they should make caramel flavored lube, so that you can make your own Banana sundae! (This is probably where Cheryl b. is gonna jump and hit the "leave a comment" button since she once upon a time worked in a s*x shop) Now THAT sounds like fun. What you guys think? What about pineapple or butterscotch or strawberry flavored delay spray/gel? I'm a genuis, huh? (Or just dirty minded, perhaps)

Ahhhhhhh, the workings of my mind continue to amaze and astound me!

The Inquisition Confession - Week 9

Well, we are on another Tuesday and you know what that means! Answers to the questions you asked. There's just one little bitty problem......

I had ONE, count it, ONE question this week. *blows raspberry at you who remained all SILENT* I would email you to nag (Ollie) but, well, Ollie, I seem to have misplaced both your email add AND URL in the big computer posession of last week. The rest of you slackers, you know who you are! The only one I can think of with a viable excuse would be this wiseguy cause he has had a fever of 102 and his whole family is dawg sick.

Me with hurt feelings and throwing guilt trips isn't pretty, now is it? Make it up to me for next week, hmmmm?

Fortunately Carrie Jo still loves me and as proof of such, we have the following question from her this week:

Have you ever considered being a flight attendant and why, or why not?

First off, Kisses and hugs for Carrie Jo. *squeeze, smoochy* Now then, for the answer I'm sure you are all awaiting with baited breath......

Nope. Never wanted to be a flight attendant. The reason was that usually jet lag knocks me right on my ass, although I've always loved flying and airplaines since I was a small child. In fact, one of my first words, after mama and dada was ai-pane, ai-pane. Don't ask why I had to say it twice, I always said it twice whenever I heard or saw one and would get ALL excited even as an infant. I also flew by myself cross country since the age of six. I kinda liked the idea of being a pilot, but then we get back to the whole jet lag issue, now don't we?

What I really wanted to be, which was kinda LIKE a flight attendant was a cruise director on a cruise ship. (It would seem that The Love Boat influnced me mightily) This probably would have been really good for me actually. I adore cruises and cruise ships, (been on several), but that option kinda appalled my Dad and stepmom when I answered their question with this job idea.

Julie McCoy my ass. Try THIS on for size: "Hi! Welcome aboard the ________! I'm Scarlett Cyn and I'lll be your Cruise Director!"

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. MUCH BETTER!

Well, that's all she wrote. I *stomps feet* expect a better turn out next week sukahs! Capiche?

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

I bet THAT topic line got your attention, now didn't it?

You all know how I just LOVE to PIECES interesting little tidbits of information and quirky facts and the like, so of course I HAD to share an email I recieved with you, because quite frankly, it amused the hell out of me. I'm seriously considering sending this to my Dad who also loves this kind of stuff and to my Aunt (his sister) who is a Physicist and up until May of this year worked for NASA as a rocket scientist, among other things. I'm sure she'd get a kick out of it too.

Enjoy! I know I did. Rread on my loves, read on!

The following is an actual question given on a McGill University chemistry mid-term Exam paper:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that most people and their souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyles Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities.

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Celine LeBlanc during my Freshman year - that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you" - and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A!

M.I.A.

Yeah, that would be me. Sorry I've been on the down low lately and oh so uncharastically silent. You see, last week, my computer went completely insane and had the computer version of a nervous breakdown. It really wasn't very pretty. Not in the least. I guess my repetitive cussing at it didn't help at all. No, I don't imagine it did at that. See, Explorer decided it wasn't going to play nice with me anymore. Then other programs started going all wacked out and shutting down and freezing up, etc.. et al... so. I now am the happy owner of...........

A brand new hardrive, extra SUPER memory (Therefore upping my speed. Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!You know it's all about speed with me, now don't you??) and a bunch of other stuff added in to make it all nice and purty. Yeah. So. It better be fine or I'm gonna go beat some asses bigtime, cause? I stood on their heads at the PC Doc this afternoon for THREE HOURS. (Told me it'd be ready at 11am today, I decided to be realistic and went at 4:15pm.... I left at 7:30pm cause it wasn't done! Still. ARRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Assssshats.

Do you all forgive me? Love me still? *sniff, sniff*

Post Inquisition questions for me already! You know the deal my loves: Cutoff is at 12:01am Pacific Time on Tuesday. Answers to follow.