The Unwelcome Visitor
Slight problem. I HAVE A DAMN LIZARD IN MY ROOM RIGHT THIS MINUTE and I don't know where the hell it has hidden itself, dammit. If you will kindly remember, I hate, loathe, and despise lizards almost as much as I do snakes.
Last night we were alerted to its presence by the shrieks of Arianna from the living room. "EEEeeeeeeekkkkkk!! LIZARRRRRRRRRDDDDD!!!". I was blog surfing as usual in the hallway. No way in HELL I was going in there. Z was supposed to kill it while it was in the L Room, but NOOOOOOO, he decided to use the broom he was supposed to smoosh it with to shoo it back out the front door. Arianna and I are saying KILL IT! KILL IT! No, poor little thing. He wasn't gonna kill it. He insisted on tossing it back outside. I said "Why, so it can come back inside??" Z says, "No, I'm going to put it outside." One tiny problem. Little bastard was running from the broom so fast he fell off the ceiling near the front door and made a break for it.....
While I was sitting here IN THE HALLWAY!! Lizard, with Z CHASING HIM -broom smacking up and down-went running past ME like a bat out of hell on the floor, running as fast as his little legs would go (which, BTW, is GODDAMN FAST).... straight into my bedroom, up onto the wall and between the freestanding closet and the wall... and Z shrugged and left it there. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Me: "Did you get it?" Z: "no. It went behind the closet" ME: "WELL GET IT OUT!!!!Ewwww!" Z: "I'm outta here" and he walked out the house leaving his daughter and I staring at each other with gaping mouths. How the hell can I sleep thinking it might CRAWL ON ME in my sleep?? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gross. I went hunting it, but hell if I know where it hid itself. I gave up, prayed it didn't slip in my closet somehow, and took off after Z. Hung out at the triplets' house for a bit and came home. Z left before us, had crawled in bed and was fast asleep. With the lizard in there. I did a cursory check of the bedroom walls before attempting sleep, and guess what? There he sat, the little sonofabitch. STARING. AT. ME. from up near the ceiling. Little reptile asshat.
On the bright side, at least it pays attention when I curse it out. He even raised his little head off the wall and stared at me with its beady little eyes as I did so. How is it possible for a lizard to look 'hurt"? He did laps around the room, contemplated running back down the wall to run about on the tile floor, and then my cussing at him started in earnest. He ran back UP the wall. Then when he couldn't take my verbal abuse anymore, he ran and hid behind the curtain. Bastard. How the hell I slept in that room is beyond me.
Yes, I know I have a load of cats in my house. But. They are Persian cats. High maintenance, purebread,Lazy buggers. I love them , but they are lazy as hell. The most reaction I get is Isis, the pure white one with big blue eyes, the Mama and Boss, IF she notices one, she stares at it transfixedly for a while, as if willing it to do something, then when it moves, Isis takes flying leaps and proceeds to fling herself against the wall. Repeatedly. It's kind of comical to watch, actually. But seriously, like what? She's gonna knock it off that way? I mean, she's hitting the wall WAAAAAY too low. then IF a lizard ends up on the floor, the silly cat PLAYS WITH IT. She doesn't kill it, she plays with it. The others cannot be bothered to bestir themselves. Sigh.
Damn lizards. Useless cats.
Lizard update: I still have no idea where the hell the lizard is. Arianna is freaked and spent most of the morinng over at her friends house.
Shudder. I'm open to suggestions. Raid kills them, but I have asthma, so the raid murder will trigger an attack. Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't. Husband is saying "oh give the poor thing a break". I say the poor things carry disease and I don't want em in the house. gag.
2nd Update 10:10pm:
JUST FOUND ANOTHER DAMN LIZARD IN MY ROOM WHEN WE MOVED THE SOFA. A BIG S.O.B. Looked PREGNANT and very very dark green. (A lovely dark moss green one which contrasted in a very bad way against the pale lavender of my bedroom walls) It IS freaking HUGE. I mean, As long as your hand! yes, yours. And about 2 inches wide. Ewwwwwwwww. Z chased it..... BEHIND our $&*$^*)($&*&$#0 headboard, then decided he was tired of looking for it after 5 minutes. He sprayed half a can of Raid, so it sent me into an asthma attack, and I can't breathe. Then he was rolling his eyes at me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Oh shit, I just realized my purse is on the floor next to my side of the bed....open... oh GAWD......
This freaks me out y'all. You don't understand. When I was very little... about 4 I'd say, in Florida where we have tiny lizards that look like baby gators, I was walking past the wall of the house and one of the little bastards fell on my head and got in my hair. In my then pretty long wavy platinum blonde hair. I had a major freak out, I don't even remember how we got it out, I was so freaked. I guess I mentally blocked that part out. I've had a problem with them ever since. Understand NOW???
You should see me, I walk in my bedroom, well, run through the door actually, looking up and around at the perimiter of the ceiling.... looking for them. I must look like a damn mental case. I'm still paranoid one of these lizards will fall on me. (especiallt that little fast stupid one) Before I go to the bathroom, I cautiously lift up the lid AND seat then bang them a few times in warning, before sitting down. Would YOU want to be sitting doing your business and have one crawl across your ass? I THINK NOT!
By the way? Did I ever tell you that they grow Big-ass FLYING cockroaches here also? One flew on me, on my bare arm, walked UP my bare arm- in my sleep!- about 6 months after I moved to Bahrain, obviously woke me up, and I screamed the damn house down flapping my arm like a crazywoman and slapping at it. I could see it in the moonlit room, big and dark.
*shudder, twitch*
7/28/2004
7/26/2004
Adventures at the Mall
You know dear readers, I think of you all the time. I see things and try like a fiend to commit them to memory, MEMORIZE every little detail so that I may relate it to you here. take last night at the mall for instance.
You know those instances where you wish like hell you had a digital camera with you? Well, last night was one of those instances. I mean, I have a camera phone, but the pic wouldn't be clear and very grainy. So. we are wandering along minding our own business when I hear Z and Arianna snickering. I tear my eyes away from the store window and ask "whats cracking you two up?" They both motion in front of us with their eyes and Z says "look, someone's got a wedgie!". I obligingly look where indicated and stare, dumfounded, trying to believe my eyes. I mutter "goddamn Pinocchio" under my breath. (If any of you have seen Shrek 2, you know what is coming next)
A guy is walking in front of us in those new male version of capri pants. White. linen. actually, the material is a gauzy linen material with lots of pockets. Sandals. Short waist length shirt. Big deal you say? Well........ said guy is cinnamon complected, which is not a big deal. What IS a big deal is that he doesn't have a wedgie. What IS a big deal is that those pants? They are about as thick as 1-ply toilet tissue. The big deal is that HE IS WEARING A DARK COLORED T-BACK THONG ABOUT TWO SIZES TOO SMALL,OR BIG, I CAN'T DECIDE WHICH. It's a scary sight, belive me. and there he is prancing around the mall with his ass showing. MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now THAT's what I call advertizing! Why advertizing you may ask? Well, at the time, we were all walking in front of Star*ucks, where there was the usual congregation of Saudi's hanging out "hunting". SO? Well, it is fairly well known in the region that they have a "thing" for asses. Male or Female, if you get my drift. Not all of them, just a really big percentage. Come on, they live in a country where the only women they can see are their mother, grandma, aunties, and sisters, and eventually thir wives and daughters, and then only in the privacy of their home. The schools are segrated, naturally. The guys have needs, so, unless they go on vacation or are screwing the housemaids, they are a bit limited for sex, ya know? I suppose anything will do. Sodomy is against Islam, so, in Saudi, if they are caught and there is proof, they risk public beheading. (Yes, just like you saw in Farenheit 9/11) Shudder. (thank God they don't do that here where I live) It's (sodomy) fairly rampant even still. Anyhooo, I turned to the left to watch THEM watch HIM walk by. This sent me in to serious laughter. Can you blame me really?
Rule no 1: Dark undies, white bottoms....NO! Change ONE of them before leaving the house.
Rule no 2: Look in a damn mirror before you leave!
All of you please feel free to comment on this.....I can feel good ones coming on.
You know dear readers, I think of you all the time. I see things and try like a fiend to commit them to memory, MEMORIZE every little detail so that I may relate it to you here. take last night at the mall for instance.
You know those instances where you wish like hell you had a digital camera with you? Well, last night was one of those instances. I mean, I have a camera phone, but the pic wouldn't be clear and very grainy. So. we are wandering along minding our own business when I hear Z and Arianna snickering. I tear my eyes away from the store window and ask "whats cracking you two up?" They both motion in front of us with their eyes and Z says "look, someone's got a wedgie!". I obligingly look where indicated and stare, dumfounded, trying to believe my eyes. I mutter "goddamn Pinocchio" under my breath. (If any of you have seen Shrek 2, you know what is coming next)
A guy is walking in front of us in those new male version of capri pants. White. linen. actually, the material is a gauzy linen material with lots of pockets. Sandals. Short waist length shirt. Big deal you say? Well........ said guy is cinnamon complected, which is not a big deal. What IS a big deal is that he doesn't have a wedgie. What IS a big deal is that those pants? They are about as thick as 1-ply toilet tissue. The big deal is that HE IS WEARING A DARK COLORED T-BACK THONG ABOUT TWO SIZES TOO SMALL,OR BIG, I CAN'T DECIDE WHICH. It's a scary sight, belive me. and there he is prancing around the mall with his ass showing. MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now THAT's what I call advertizing! Why advertizing you may ask? Well, at the time, we were all walking in front of Star*ucks, where there was the usual congregation of Saudi's hanging out "hunting". SO? Well, it is fairly well known in the region that they have a "thing" for asses. Male or Female, if you get my drift. Not all of them, just a really big percentage. Come on, they live in a country where the only women they can see are their mother, grandma, aunties, and sisters, and eventually thir wives and daughters, and then only in the privacy of their home. The schools are segrated, naturally. The guys have needs, so, unless they go on vacation or are screwing the housemaids, they are a bit limited for sex, ya know? I suppose anything will do. Sodomy is against Islam, so, in Saudi, if they are caught and there is proof, they risk public beheading. (Yes, just like you saw in Farenheit 9/11) Shudder. (thank God they don't do that here where I live) It's (sodomy) fairly rampant even still. Anyhooo, I turned to the left to watch THEM watch HIM walk by. This sent me in to serious laughter. Can you blame me really?
Rule no 1: Dark undies, white bottoms....NO! Change ONE of them before leaving the house.
Rule no 2: Look in a damn mirror before you leave!
All of you please feel free to comment on this.....I can feel good ones coming on.
7/23/2004
The Betrayal
Not to interrupt my party over on the previous post.... (keep posting on there for the party, BTW!) But, well, I hust have to vent. I read over on Chez Miscarriage the following just now, and ,well, I just can't keep quiet, because it struck something deep in me that I've been dealing with for a while now.
From Chez Miscarriage:
Dr. Love said, You use a gestational surrogate when there's no uterus, not when there's a damaged uterus. You don't use a surrogate to increase your chances of having a baby. You use a surrogate when you have no other options, when there's no hope, when you're at the end of the line.
How interesting, I said the very same thing to Z last week, and a few weeks before that. And a month ago and two months ago when my 4th IVF cycle got cancelled. And the 3 times before that he has mentioned it… in 2004.
A couple of nights ago, his niece, the mother of the triplets and I went to the movies. Fortunately I am and have always been very close with her. She is one year older than me. On the way there, she confided to me that her Uncle, my husband, asked her to be a surrogate for us. I don’t know how I continued to keep driving the car, actually. That hurt me so very much. I replied the most flippant as I could. “Has he lost his fucking mind? You just delivered triplets! What kind of nutcase would ask that of a woman that just delivered triplets?” She said that’s what she told him also.
He had mentioned it to me. Several times. I thought he was just running the idea past me. Kinda like how he was buttering me up for the idea of a second wife last year. (a really rich one, so he could “take care of me”) )hes' muslim) I guess I was wrong. Bullshit then, and bullshit now. I told him what I thought of his suggestion about a surrogate. “Why? My damn uterus is fine. Then I went on to basically state verbatim what Dr. Love said above.” Glad to have a doctor backing me up on that one. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There is other crap in my reproductive system that is messed up-ovaries- but my poor uterus is just fine, thank heavens. I can’t believe that after I told him how against the whole idea I was all those times he mentioned it, he STILL went to her and asked her. She said he was very serious about it. Maybe I’m a bitch, but I’d really like to scratch his eyes out. I haven’t confronted him about it yet. and I heard about it from someone else. He didn't even tell me he is approaching people about it. And if you think that she is the only one he has asked or will ask, I've got a lovely piece of land in Siberia I'd like to sell you that is PERFECT for winter holidays.
He asked me if when Aunt Flo starts if I want to take Clomid this time. I looked at him, with his comments in the back of my head and said, “No. Not now. Be reasonable. I just lost my job. I have to have a job.” Right now you guys, I’m so hurt, I really hate him. I feel betrayed. He went behind my back knowing how I felt on the subject, like everything else, and it kinda makes me wonder…
What else has he gone behind my back about?
Not to interrupt my party over on the previous post.... (keep posting on there for the party, BTW!) But, well, I hust have to vent. I read over on Chez Miscarriage the following just now, and ,well, I just can't keep quiet, because it struck something deep in me that I've been dealing with for a while now.
From Chez Miscarriage:
Dr. Love said, You use a gestational surrogate when there's no uterus, not when there's a damaged uterus. You don't use a surrogate to increase your chances of having a baby. You use a surrogate when you have no other options, when there's no hope, when you're at the end of the line.
How interesting, I said the very same thing to Z last week, and a few weeks before that. And a month ago and two months ago when my 4th IVF cycle got cancelled. And the 3 times before that he has mentioned it… in 2004.
A couple of nights ago, his niece, the mother of the triplets and I went to the movies. Fortunately I am and have always been very close with her. She is one year older than me. On the way there, she confided to me that her Uncle, my husband, asked her to be a surrogate for us. I don’t know how I continued to keep driving the car, actually. That hurt me so very much. I replied the most flippant as I could. “Has he lost his fucking mind? You just delivered triplets! What kind of nutcase would ask that of a woman that just delivered triplets?” She said that’s what she told him also.
He had mentioned it to me. Several times. I thought he was just running the idea past me. Kinda like how he was buttering me up for the idea of a second wife last year. (a really rich one, so he could “take care of me”) )hes' muslim) I guess I was wrong. Bullshit then, and bullshit now. I told him what I thought of his suggestion about a surrogate. “Why? My damn uterus is fine. Then I went on to basically state verbatim what Dr. Love said above.” Glad to have a doctor backing me up on that one. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There is other crap in my reproductive system that is messed up-ovaries- but my poor uterus is just fine, thank heavens. I can’t believe that after I told him how against the whole idea I was all those times he mentioned it, he STILL went to her and asked her. She said he was very serious about it. Maybe I’m a bitch, but I’d really like to scratch his eyes out. I haven’t confronted him about it yet. and I heard about it from someone else. He didn't even tell me he is approaching people about it. And if you think that she is the only one he has asked or will ask, I've got a lovely piece of land in Siberia I'd like to sell you that is PERFECT for winter holidays.
He asked me if when Aunt Flo starts if I want to take Clomid this time. I looked at him, with his comments in the back of my head and said, “No. Not now. Be reasonable. I just lost my job. I have to have a job.” Right now you guys, I’m so hurt, I really hate him. I feel betrayed. He went behind my back knowing how I felt on the subject, like everything else, and it kinda makes me wonder…
What else has he gone behind my back about?
Party Update
Hello my darlings! Party is back ON! Do you HEAR ME?????? BACK ON! Lets have it oh, all weekend long. I'm curious how much mischief we can all get into! I admit I'm curious in the extreme. So, party will start today, Friday, and last until Sunday evening. Yes, one big sleepover/slumber party. Hows that lovlies?
Bring a friend. Refer a friend. And you lurkers out there??? (you know who you are!) STOP THAT SHIT AND POST A COMMENT WILLYA???????? Jeez, why you hiding? I don't bite.....much.
Also, can someone give me some help jimmying the lock on the Monster's bedroom door. (Hey, she did it to MY dressing cupboard while I was on vacation, and has since broken the lock in the door of it completely) Turnabout is fair play.
Music? Check. Stripper? Check. Food? Check. Booze? Check! Twister? Check. Magic 8 ball? Check. Friends from all over the planet? Check, I think!
Hello my darlings! Party is back ON! Do you HEAR ME?????? BACK ON! Lets have it oh, all weekend long. I'm curious how much mischief we can all get into! I admit I'm curious in the extreme. So, party will start today, Friday, and last until Sunday evening. Yes, one big sleepover/slumber party. Hows that lovlies?
Bring a friend. Refer a friend. And you lurkers out there??? (you know who you are!) STOP THAT SHIT AND POST A COMMENT WILLYA???????? Jeez, why you hiding? I don't bite.....much.
Also, can someone give me some help jimmying the lock on the Monster's bedroom door. (Hey, she did it to MY dressing cupboard while I was on vacation, and has since broken the lock in the door of it completely) Turnabout is fair play.
Music? Check. Stripper? Check. Food? Check. Booze? Check! Twister? Check. Magic 8 ball? Check. Friends from all over the planet? Check, I think!
7/22/2004
I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!
Didja miss me?????? You better have! I missed you guys, LOADS.
At least my blog does not look like a cheap slasher film victim anymore. Whew! (Thanks Kim!)
It has been an interesting few days lately. Lost my job, yesterday was my last day,BUT I have an interview lined up already!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!
Just found out that my airconditioning compressor in my car.. is dead. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! In this heat??? The weather was ... dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn................. 125 today! Plus humidty. goody. I have sucky luck this week, no? Will take it to fix on Saturday. (it's only gonna cost about 400 bucks!)*gags, shaking head, sobbing* This BLOWS. Seriously.
My inet is out of order at home probably until day after tomorrow... so, I'm getting my fix here at my SIL's house.
OHMIGOD, I missed my blog so much......... and all of you too! It's good to be home.
Kisses for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!! (was it good for you too???)
Didja miss me?????? You better have! I missed you guys, LOADS.
At least my blog does not look like a cheap slasher film victim anymore. Whew! (Thanks Kim!)
It has been an interesting few days lately. Lost my job, yesterday was my last day,BUT I have an interview lined up already!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!
Just found out that my airconditioning compressor in my car.. is dead. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! In this heat??? The weather was ... dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn................. 125 today! Plus humidty. goody. I have sucky luck this week, no? Will take it to fix on Saturday. (it's only gonna cost about 400 bucks!)*gags, shaking head, sobbing* This BLOWS. Seriously.
My inet is out of order at home probably until day after tomorrow... so, I'm getting my fix here at my SIL's house.
OHMIGOD, I missed my blog so much......... and all of you too! It's good to be home.
Kisses for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!! (was it good for you too???)
7/19/2004
7/18/2004
| Hello, My Name is.......
Hello, my name is Cyn, and I am an accessory addict. I mean SERIOUSLY y'all! WHEW!!!! I thought that would be harder to do. Wait a cottonpickin minute here! I don't want to stop this! See, I've started my own little fraternity/ club .. whatever, and honestly honeys, I'm so very proud. It is called "The Imelda Marcos Society for Women With Shoe and Handbag Addiction". I even have a few members! Importantly, Amalah is already a member my drinking buddy Katie too, and a friend here named Aseel (she has it BAD girlies! Will elaborate later) and most likely Martha and Mindy will join in the not too distant future. We have our own motto too! "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'TOO MANY' SHOES OR HANDBAGS, so you can just STOP YER BITCHING!!!" Don't you just loave us? Yeah, I thought you did. I was chatting with my darling Amalah on IM the other day and we got to talking about strappy sexy evening or whenever-the-hell-we-feel-like-wearing-them shoes and our little NEED for them. Ok, ok. I was also telling her about my latest acquisition. Anyhoo.... I got to thinking yesterday.... and here is part of my tally:
And um, just for the record, I did inventory of my handbags yesterday, and.. the tally, as of TODAY, stands at: 23 handbags, 6 wallets, and 4 evening bags (WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I told you I was extremely picky about my evening accessory purchases!! Jeez.) And before any of my male readers (and you know who you are!) start commenting on that number of purses, let me tell you a little somthing my dahling men..... I USE EM ALL! Yes, that is right, I rotate and switch. Frequently, sometimes daily. Like, the black Gucci with the Bamboo handle (my recent FAVORITE, im SO in loave with it!) one day, then a beige or camel purse the next, then my pride and joy, a cordovan colored (that's like Burgundy- yes wine- for the men) Cartier handbag with MATCHING WALLET. I loave that one so much, I don't use it ALL that often cause I don't want it to get hurt. I'm all about matching my shoes and bags too! So, Shhhhhhhh! Not all my stuff is that expensive though, before you start having major freaking coronary attacks! "Hello? 911? Um, Yes, I realize this is long distance, but, um, I think someone needs your help... his name is ____ and I think he is having a heart attack." If it makes the cringing males feel any better.... I buy them myself. Now my previously mentioned friend Aseel? She is waaay worse than me. I mean, completely bonkers over shoes. I am SO normal compared to her. Like I tell Z when he bitches about my shoes, "Hush! Be glad I'm not Aseel, ok?" (although his reply is often "yeah, but you COULD BE. I mean, the potential is there!") She moved back home here from Boston, and when her container shipment of stuff arrived, she told me about how she was lovingly unpacking her 60+ pairs of shoes she had shipped back. 60+ people! In addition to the LOAD of shoes she has here already. It's so bad, that her sisters, 3 younger than her, have asked to be left her shoes in her will.... and, um, she is only 29. The younger sisters fight over the shoes. In. the. will. (Hell, I just want her jewellery, but that is another post ENTIRELY!) Yeah. So, I'm nothing compared to her. She said she would live on doritos and snickers in college to be able to buy shoes instead. Uh huh. I can totally understand that, can't you? A girl's gotta priortize, right? So, if you're interested in joining my little society, please let me know, hmmmm? Later, I will regale you with the contents of my makeup STOCKPILE. (Let's put it this way... I am the Aseel of the cosmetics world, got it?) Good. And don't forget my DAMN PARTY TOMORROW!!!!! |
7/17/2004
Party At My Place!
Well darlings, her bags are packed, and her broom is dusted off, serviced, and ready to go. Looks like take off is tomorrow morning. So, blog party is set for Monday. GOT THAT? Monday! Bring a blog friend. Actually, maybe I should say that it STARTS Monday? This could be a two or three day party. I might even get creative and send invitations, but if not, please come over. This is not an "Invite only" party, but more of a B.Y.O._. party.
I don't know how long she's going for, but I must admit, it will be a nice break if nothing else.
I'm really not mean. I'm just.... worn out. Everytime she leaves, the family gets closer, everyone is nice to each other and friendly (yes! Even to me!!) no dissent, no upset, no troublemaking. It's nice. I'm sure that I wouldn't hate living here so much if we had moved here without her as was the plan. I've been in the thick of it from day one. Sigh. Well, it isn't as if she didn't warn me what she would do the day before we left to move here. She got right in my face that day and said "You think you'll be happy there? HAH! I'm going to make you so miserable you 'll wish you never heard the word Bahrain. I"m gonna blacken your name so badly that you won't want to be seen in public or hold your head up!" And that is what she set out to do.
Well, at least she keeps her word.
The first years here were the worst. (Well, in retrospect, it seems that way, although, maybe now I'm just kinda numb to all the bullshit?I dunno.) Going anywhere was pretty uncomfortable for the longest time. She spread her poison far and wide. I knew what she was doing. I saw their behaviour change towards me. Talk about uncomfortable!! Lordy! His family here is HUGE, I mean massive. So, that's a lot of venom!
Her son refused to believe it. He is the master of self-delusion and denial, unfortunately. It was the same stuff she had done it the States, only worse and more wide spread, since her audience was larger. Here is like living in a small town. Talking shit to the neighbors and family. Nothing new. I was just myself and tried not to show how much it hurt.
The one bright side is, that somewhere along the way she started "hanging herself". Cousins and friends (not all mind you) started seeing that what they were hearing and what they actually SAW were two very different things. They noticed that SHE was the only one talking, not me, no matter how they tried to bait a comment out of me. I could have said tons. But I didn't, haven't. I have held it all inside all thse years, so forgive me if you guys hear it. Only a few select girlfriends of mine really know. I need an outlet every now and then, ya know? Like my blog. Fortunately, his cousins that I LOVE had the wake up calls first and soonest! My realtionships with his immediate family (sisters, brothers, etc..) are still and will probably always remain strained. I have done all I can over the years but I'm not going to kill myself anymore. If after 15 years they aren't gonna wake up, to hell with it I say!
So, yeah, I've had baby breaks from her before, (three weeks to two months)but it's been a long haul this time around. It just made me sad, cause it showed how nice things could be without her around. I wouldn't be surprised if she is gone for less than a month. Z is talking about talking Arianna with him there on a vacation for a week or two next month. So maybe she will stay longer if they go. I don't know. Can you imagine me here on my own for two weeks? Heh.
So, reminder: Party is day after tomorrow I have: Liquor, Twister (that could be fun-especially if we get the stripper in the mix!), yes, a stripper (maybe he can bring a friend?), and I'll even self-cater! Feel free to bring whatever you like. If you are all good..... I might even do the booty shake dance or bellydance for you!
7/14/2004
Pucker Up!
Ya know, I was moseying on around in Quizilla's site and decided to take THIS quiz, cause, well, it sounded interesting and not overly lame. (Well, actually, I took a few others, but the pics were a bit TOO Nekkid and soft-porn-ish, ya know?) Sooooo, guess what kind of kisser I am?
TA DAAAA!
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I bet you're wondering how accurate it is, aren't ya? Heh. If y'all ask me real nicely, I might just tell you how accurate it is (or not)!!
Go on, bite the bullet and take the damn quiz. Im a nosey thing! I showed you mine, now show me yours!!!!!
*snicker, guffaw*
Ya know, I was moseying on around in Quizilla's site and decided to take THIS quiz, cause, well, it sounded interesting and not overly lame. (Well, actually, I took a few others, but the pics were a bit TOO Nekkid and soft-porn-ish, ya know?) Sooooo, guess what kind of kisser I am?
TA DAAAA!
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I bet you're wondering how accurate it is, aren't ya? Heh. If y'all ask me real nicely, I might just tell you how accurate it is (or not)!!
Go on, bite the bullet and take the damn quiz. Im a nosey thing! I showed you mine, now show me yours!!!!!
*snicker, guffaw*
7/13/2004
Lovin It
Was snooping around over at Genuine's (as usual)and I found a hilarious link in his most recent post. I've seen previous work of Mr. Squirrel and I thought to share this latest piece of art with you.
Genuine said he pee'd his pants it was so funny, and to be honest, I came damn near close myself. Turn up the sound, but if you're at work, not too loud...OK? (caution: high pitched foul language)
What do you mean you don't have large?
Was snooping around over at Genuine's (as usual)and I found a hilarious link in his most recent post. I've seen previous work of Mr. Squirrel and I thought to share this latest piece of art with you.
Genuine said he pee'd his pants it was so funny, and to be honest, I came damn near close myself. Turn up the sound, but if you're at work, not too loud...OK? (caution: high pitched foul language)
What do you mean you don't have large?
The Farewell
Last night I went to my friend's farewell dinner at a Thai restaurant. She's moving to Boston to continue her education. I wasn't too impressed with the food, but it was fun!
About ten of us, all women, in a pretty secluded room. We were cutting up and being loud and obnioxious and we EVEN drove off the Asian Bulldyke and her very girly girlfriend that were sitting-fine, half laying- at the opposite end of the room. Otherwise, the place was totally empty that time of night. Ok, they left about after an hour or so, and even then only when they noticed that their dirty looks in our direction weren't working...... Heh.
It was a load of fun. There wasn't even liquor involved. We were cutting up so very much, even making fun of my ex-psychotic demon from hell boss's daughter!(the boss, not the daughter) I,naturally, had to imitate all the people being discussed or otherwise raked over the coals, because, well, that's just me! Boss's daughter included.
We were discussing the extremely low cut blouse etc... she wore into the office (trust me, not much to show off) and how shocked we were, cause, well, her father IS the Chairman and CEO, and is religious enough to have built A MOSQUE with his own money back in Pakistan! But she teeters in all hanging out. Have I mentioned that this company is an Islamic Infrastructure Fund Management Company? Well, it is. ie: wear it, but it's totally inappopproiate for going to daddy's work. Sooooo, of COURSE I had to show how extreme it was, so,for those that had missed "The Daddy's Girl free show", I ended up SHOWING them by adjusting my own low V-neckline of my blouse DOWN while keeping an eye on the bulldyke in the far corner to make sure she wasn't looking and shaking my stuff in a fair imitation of her! We all ended up howling. It was pretty funny.
Then after we ate... we sang! Ah... Karaoke! Why in the hell we ended up singing love songs and 70's and 80's hits is beyond me. Some of us attempetd to sing alone, but then there was a mike malfunction, so we ended up singing in a group. It was a total crack up! Pretty much completly off key and with much hilarity involved. Yes, poor Lionel Richie, thank God he will never know what we did to his beautiful love song "Hello". And of course, it wouldn't have been right if we didn't sing/butcher "Hotel California", now would it? Actually, that sounded pretty good!
I later dragged my ass in the bed at around 1:30am after dropping one of my girlfriends home.
Whew! Must do that more often! Come on, who's gonna sing with me?
All this on top of hearing that MIL has to get her backside to Iran posthaste by Saturday or her house purchase is all in the toilet! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I don't know how long she's gonna be gone for, but,hot damn(!) it's a break! At least she will be able to talk dirty to the men over there in her own language. I wonder if that neighbor across the street she had the hots for still lives there. He was a widower. (ie: fresh meat)I will arrange blog party when I have her departure details!
Hey, should we call a stripper?
Last night I went to my friend's farewell dinner at a Thai restaurant. She's moving to Boston to continue her education. I wasn't too impressed with the food, but it was fun!
About ten of us, all women, in a pretty secluded room. We were cutting up and being loud and obnioxious and we EVEN drove off the Asian Bulldyke and her very girly girlfriend that were sitting-fine, half laying- at the opposite end of the room. Otherwise, the place was totally empty that time of night. Ok, they left about after an hour or so, and even then only when they noticed that their dirty looks in our direction weren't working...... Heh.
It was a load of fun. There wasn't even liquor involved. We were cutting up so very much, even making fun of my ex-psychotic demon from hell boss's daughter!(the boss, not the daughter) I,naturally, had to imitate all the people being discussed or otherwise raked over the coals, because, well, that's just me! Boss's daughter included.
We were discussing the extremely low cut blouse etc... she wore into the office (trust me, not much to show off) and how shocked we were, cause, well, her father IS the Chairman and CEO, and is religious enough to have built A MOSQUE with his own money back in Pakistan! But she teeters in all hanging out. Have I mentioned that this company is an Islamic Infrastructure Fund Management Company? Well, it is. ie: wear it, but it's totally inappopproiate for going to daddy's work. Sooooo, of COURSE I had to show how extreme it was, so,for those that had missed "The Daddy's Girl free show", I ended up SHOWING them by adjusting my own low V-neckline of my blouse DOWN while keeping an eye on the bulldyke in the far corner to make sure she wasn't looking and shaking my stuff in a fair imitation of her! We all ended up howling. It was pretty funny.
Then after we ate... we sang! Ah... Karaoke! Why in the hell we ended up singing love songs and 70's and 80's hits is beyond me. Some of us attempetd to sing alone, but then there was a mike malfunction, so we ended up singing in a group. It was a total crack up! Pretty much completly off key and with much hilarity involved. Yes, poor Lionel Richie, thank God he will never know what we did to his beautiful love song "Hello". And of course, it wouldn't have been right if we didn't sing/butcher "Hotel California", now would it? Actually, that sounded pretty good!
I later dragged my ass in the bed at around 1:30am after dropping one of my girlfriends home.
Whew! Must do that more often! Come on, who's gonna sing with me?
All this on top of hearing that MIL has to get her backside to Iran posthaste by Saturday or her house purchase is all in the toilet! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I don't know how long she's gonna be gone for, but,hot damn(!) it's a break! At least she will be able to talk dirty to the men over there in her own language. I wonder if that neighbor across the street she had the hots for still lives there. He was a widower. (ie: fresh meat)I will arrange blog party when I have her departure details!
Hey, should we call a stripper?
7/11/2004
Ok, NOW I'm Sad.
Maybe despondent would be a better word? Yeah, probably. Wanna know why? Because, While browsing on E! Online, also known as my secret vice... Ted's Gossip pages.. I found this:
Whoop There It Isn't: Test audiences apparently got Too Much Information (or something) from a Colin Farrell nude scene at screenings of A Home at the End of the World, reports Us Weekly. Despite whoops of approval from female fans, we'll be seeing less of Farrell's natural gifts in the final version. Producer John Hart emphasizes that the actor "has no reason to be shy," and director Michael Mayer elaborates: "People felt [his penis] was too distracting from the emotional moment in the scene." Doncha hate when that happens? Hello? Bonus footage! Alas, in what may be the unkindest (director's) cut of all, Farrell's extended version won't even appear on the DVD.
AW HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! Not even bonus footage??? BASTARDS!!!!!! That director is just JEALOUS because he is problably small and drives a PORCHE TOO! Screw it, I say women of the world BOYCOTT THIS DAMN TRAVESTY OF A FILM, or,alternatevly, maybe we could sign a petition to at least have it in the DVD? *yes, I'm groveling, ok?* Jeez. Can't this dumbass realize that 5-8 seconds of full frontal Colin would send his opening weekend sales through the roof? That wuss.
I should have known something was up, first I scarfed more cherries (So luscious and juicy and sweet and tart) than I should admit to yesterday, and now this. Colin. Cherries. Me and Colin rolling naked in cherries. (In a dream. Confused? Check my April archives.)
This is SO gonna be a shitty week, I can feel it.
PS: What?!? Is 3 posts in one day too much for ya? Deal.
Maybe despondent would be a better word? Yeah, probably. Wanna know why? Because, While browsing on E! Online, also known as my secret vice... Ted's Gossip pages.. I found this:
Whoop There It Isn't: Test audiences apparently got Too Much Information (or something) from a Colin Farrell nude scene at screenings of A Home at the End of the World, reports Us Weekly. Despite whoops of approval from female fans, we'll be seeing less of Farrell's natural gifts in the final version. Producer John Hart emphasizes that the actor "has no reason to be shy," and director Michael Mayer elaborates: "People felt [his penis] was too distracting from the emotional moment in the scene." Doncha hate when that happens? Hello? Bonus footage! Alas, in what may be the unkindest (director's) cut of all, Farrell's extended version won't even appear on the DVD.
AW HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! Not even bonus footage??? BASTARDS!!!!!! That director is just JEALOUS because he is problably small and drives a PORCHE TOO! Screw it, I say women of the world BOYCOTT THIS DAMN TRAVESTY OF A FILM, or,alternatevly, maybe we could sign a petition to at least have it in the DVD? *yes, I'm groveling, ok?* Jeez. Can't this dumbass realize that 5-8 seconds of full frontal Colin would send his opening weekend sales through the roof? That wuss.
I should have known something was up, first I scarfed more cherries (So luscious and juicy and sweet and tart) than I should admit to yesterday, and now this. Colin. Cherries. Me and Colin rolling naked in cherries. (In a dream. Confused? Check my April archives.)
This is SO gonna be a shitty week, I can feel it.
PS: What?!? Is 3 posts in one day too much for ya? Deal.
Monster-in-Law vs. The Electrician
It is common knowledge that my husband has a WIDE evil streak in him. It is also common knowledge that my MIL hates my guts and is evil incarnate. I’m not just saying that. Her own blood says it too! But what he did last night? To his own mother? Genius, pure genius! It was so good; I just HAVE to share it with you all!
The electrician for the compound was supposed to be coming over to fix whatever it was she was bitching about, (I didn’t really pay attention, cause her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me, if you must know!) Now the electrician’s English isn’t all that great. And my MIL’s is almost non-existent (although she does manage enough to talk shit about me whenever the opportunity arises and she knows the necessary words, like BITCH and f**k you!) So, she was asking her precious son what she should say to the electrician. This is what he taught her:
“I give you blowjob”
She dutifully repeated it over and over, very carefully. (Me, turning my face to the wall trying not to laugh my ass off.) After a few minutes, she said it was a bit hard for her to say, how about another way? Ok, sure!
“Lick me please?” and “Do me hard!”
Again with the repeating and learning. (This is killing me, honestly!) Then she said there was something else she wanted fixed, so, he taught her:
“Please screw me”
At this point, I was shaking with laughter, and she got suspicious. Well, I couldn’t help it! He said, “No, Cyn is laughing at the TV, aren’t you?” And I nodded and said “yeah…. *snicker*… TV, funny!” Then he said to her: “Try this mom:”
“I want your dick”
At this point, I looked at him and said quietly, “I’m sure she will know that one! You screwed up!” As she repeated, she realized she did know what DICK is… and started freaking out. I looked at him and said, “See, I told you!” You forgot about that neighbor that used to sneak over after you and your brother went to work when we were engaged! They would sit and drink and smoke and Lord knows what else! Hahahahahahahah!” Then I proceeded to give in to my bout of uncontrollable hysterical laughter, convulsing on the sofa!
On the off chance that you are offended that I find this so very amusing, or that I’m retelling this on my blog? Tough shit. I actually have permission to retell this from Z! Z even went over to her granddaughter’s house right after and told a roomful of her 30-something grandkids and their husbands and they all proceeded to have similar reactions to me. In fact, the mom of the triplets was laughing so hard, she called her MOM (MIL’s daughter) and told her, and she promptly laughed her ass off too!
This is almost as good, as when we were all in Las Vegas and she noticed there are these HUGE, I mean really huge margarita glasses people are drinking from. So there she sits on the slot machine stool, jealous and thirsty for booze. She shouts to a passing cocktail waiter “”HEY MISTER, YOU HAVE BIG ONE?? GIVE ME BIG ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and kept right on yelling it at him until he figured it out after she finally pointed at one that someone was drinking from, right as a highly unnatural lull in the casino noise happened. Stares aplenty!! My SIL wanted to die right there. But she still laughs about it to this day!
But honestly, the blowjob one? Killed me.
Ok, I know you want to comment. Go ahead.
It is common knowledge that my husband has a WIDE evil streak in him. It is also common knowledge that my MIL hates my guts and is evil incarnate. I’m not just saying that. Her own blood says it too! But what he did last night? To his own mother? Genius, pure genius! It was so good; I just HAVE to share it with you all!
The electrician for the compound was supposed to be coming over to fix whatever it was she was bitching about, (I didn’t really pay attention, cause her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me, if you must know!) Now the electrician’s English isn’t all that great. And my MIL’s is almost non-existent (although she does manage enough to talk shit about me whenever the opportunity arises and she knows the necessary words, like BITCH and f**k you!) So, she was asking her precious son what she should say to the electrician. This is what he taught her:
“I give you blowjob”
She dutifully repeated it over and over, very carefully. (Me, turning my face to the wall trying not to laugh my ass off.) After a few minutes, she said it was a bit hard for her to say, how about another way? Ok, sure!
“Lick me please?” and “Do me hard!”
Again with the repeating and learning. (This is killing me, honestly!) Then she said there was something else she wanted fixed, so, he taught her:
“Please screw me”
At this point, I was shaking with laughter, and she got suspicious. Well, I couldn’t help it! He said, “No, Cyn is laughing at the TV, aren’t you?” And I nodded and said “yeah…. *snicker*… TV, funny!” Then he said to her: “Try this mom:”
“I want your dick”
At this point, I looked at him and said quietly, “I’m sure she will know that one! You screwed up!” As she repeated, she realized she did know what DICK is… and started freaking out. I looked at him and said, “See, I told you!” You forgot about that neighbor that used to sneak over after you and your brother went to work when we were engaged! They would sit and drink and smoke and Lord knows what else! Hahahahahahahah!” Then I proceeded to give in to my bout of uncontrollable hysterical laughter, convulsing on the sofa!
On the off chance that you are offended that I find this so very amusing, or that I’m retelling this on my blog? Tough shit. I actually have permission to retell this from Z! Z even went over to her granddaughter’s house right after and told a roomful of her 30-something grandkids and their husbands and they all proceeded to have similar reactions to me. In fact, the mom of the triplets was laughing so hard, she called her MOM (MIL’s daughter) and told her, and she promptly laughed her ass off too!
This is almost as good, as when we were all in Las Vegas and she noticed there are these HUGE, I mean really huge margarita glasses people are drinking from. So there she sits on the slot machine stool, jealous and thirsty for booze. She shouts to a passing cocktail waiter “”HEY MISTER, YOU HAVE BIG ONE?? GIVE ME BIG ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and kept right on yelling it at him until he figured it out after she finally pointed at one that someone was drinking from, right as a highly unnatural lull in the casino noise happened. Stares aplenty!! My SIL wanted to die right there. But she still laughs about it to this day!
But honestly, the blowjob one? Killed me.
Ok, I know you want to comment. Go ahead.
Deal With It!!
Ok, so I have a small addiction to these quiz thingies! Maybe I'm just a sheep in fox's clothing!*snicker* SO???
And for the record, as I drive down this imaginary highway of my life, I'd be driving in an Aston Martin Vantage! (You know, that sweet piece of automative genuis in the Beyonce & Jay-Z video for Bonnie & Clyde? Yeaah baby! Come to MAMA!) Anyhoo... heres my road sign. Cute, no?
Where are you on the highway of life?
From Go-Quiz.com
And because I can be a nosey thaang, I'm going to naturally ask: what's yours?
Ok, so I have a small addiction to these quiz thingies! Maybe I'm just a sheep in fox's clothing!*snicker* SO???
And for the record, as I drive down this imaginary highway of my life, I'd be driving in an Aston Martin Vantage! (You know, that sweet piece of automative genuis in the Beyonce & Jay-Z video for Bonnie & Clyde? Yeaah baby! Come to MAMA!) Anyhoo... heres my road sign. Cute, no?
| ||||||||||||||
From Go-Quiz.com
And because I can be a nosey thaang, I'm going to naturally ask: what's yours?
7/10/2004
What The HELL????
Dear fashion victims… I mean readers!! Yeaaah, READERS!
I’m sure some of you have noticed that some of the clothing styles have returned from the early 80’s. Yes, it just tickles me senseless to see some of the fashions that have weaseled their way back into mainstream teenage fashion. OK, and young adult too! Some of it is really well re-done. It all gives me wishful flashbacks to my young years. I never imagined my own daughter wearing some of the fashions I used to wear now… in 2004!
Remember the capris, but they aren’t really capris, cause they end right at the knee but then gather up on the sides with either elastic, or ties, or zippers? Yeah, I liked those, still do. Everytime I see Arianna wear the pants like this that I bought her ON PURPOSE, I get a stupid grin on my face!
Muscle shirts? Remember those? Yeah, I’m cool with that. Black rubber bracelets? Hell yeah I had tons of them. And if you are honest, you will admit that you did too! And the thick belts and the belts and bracelets with studs? Ahhhh yes, memory lane is calling! Even in some fashion magazines, I’m seeing 80’s makeup revisited… more, um, tastefully done, but still the same. On the bright side, so far I haven’t noticed any of those DYNASTY shoulder pads yet… but maybe I should bite my tongue?
You may wonder what I’m rambling on about? Why the title of this post? Well my darlings, let me enlighten you!
Yesterday, while out shopping with Z’s niece, who is MY AGE, we were wandering through a shoe store (naturally, since I have a serious addiction to shoes and handbags, much to my husband’s dismay). Strangely, I didn’t buy anything. But I digress….
So, while wandering around, we came upon sock displays. Ok. Fine. Oh these are cute! Blah blah, etc… Then my eyes drift downward…. niece’s apparently does too… she picks something off the rack, exactly what my eyes had become fixated on. She asks… “what the hell kind of socks are these?” I am afraid to touch them, dread and horror and realization slowly creeping into my consciousness. Finally, she shoves them into my hands for inspection. Guess what the hell they were? Were they socks? Knee socks? Um, no. NO! Any idea?
Leg warmers. Yeah, leg warmers. Many different colors and designs. “So what’s her damn problem?” you may think? Let me elaborate, shall I?
I live in Bahrain. It is a small island in the Persian Gulf off the coast of Saudi Arabia. It is a baby rat fart on the map. The daytime temperatures for the past days have been in the mid 140’s PLUS about 80% humidity! The evenings are much better at around 109-113 with about 90-97% humidity. Yes, as you may now be realizing, I live in hell! The temps will continue along this vein well into the end of September with the humidity getting even higher and the temperatures going so high that the weather people here begin to lie about it and not say it’s higher than 145 because if it gets hotter than that, outside labor will have to stop, and we can’t have that, now can we??? You know, humidity can get so high in fact, that early in the morning and at night, the air becomes very dense with it, like fog, so thick, you can’t see. Pea soup is an understatement.
Also, LEG WARMERS SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED IN THE COUNTRY, BECAUSE EVEN WITH THIS HEAT THERE ARE SOME REALLY STUPID-ASS PEOPLE THAT WILL WEAR THEM AND FORCE ME TO LAUGH HYSTERCAILLY AND POINT AT THEM IN PUBLIC PLACES. Ok, that and it’s just plain stupid.
Anyway, I had the sudden and overwhelming urge to start singing the theme to Flashdance!! I controlled it. Barely. I contented myself with laughing my ass off instead.
Don’t get me wrong; I will admit that I did wear them for a time in the 80’s. I carefully and very precisely arranged them and made damn sure they stayed that way, cause, well, that’s just how I am. (Apparently I’ve always been this way about socks and the like since I was a small child. My mom has told me that as young as about 2 and a half, I would insist on fixing my OWN SOCKS, making sure they were rolled or folded just so, and exactly alike, which would explain this vague memory I have of standing in front of a full length mirror in my bedroom at around age 3 or so, staring fixedly at my frilly socks in the mirror and repeatedly bending and fixing them to make sure they were even).
Anyway, that I wore legwarmers back in the 80’s, well, that was then. This is now. And I sure as hell wouldn’t dream of wearing them in hot weather.
I guess that I should be grateful that the funky rocker hair hasn’t come back, right? *shudder* Or, funky high heels worn with white little girl style frilly socks. *gag* Yeah, it couldn't be any worse, could it??
COULD IT???????
Dear fashion victims… I mean readers!! Yeaaah, READERS!
I’m sure some of you have noticed that some of the clothing styles have returned from the early 80’s. Yes, it just tickles me senseless to see some of the fashions that have weaseled their way back into mainstream teenage fashion. OK, and young adult too! Some of it is really well re-done. It all gives me wishful flashbacks to my young years. I never imagined my own daughter wearing some of the fashions I used to wear now… in 2004!
Remember the capris, but they aren’t really capris, cause they end right at the knee but then gather up on the sides with either elastic, or ties, or zippers? Yeah, I liked those, still do. Everytime I see Arianna wear the pants like this that I bought her ON PURPOSE, I get a stupid grin on my face!
Muscle shirts? Remember those? Yeah, I’m cool with that. Black rubber bracelets? Hell yeah I had tons of them. And if you are honest, you will admit that you did too! And the thick belts and the belts and bracelets with studs? Ahhhh yes, memory lane is calling! Even in some fashion magazines, I’m seeing 80’s makeup revisited… more, um, tastefully done, but still the same. On the bright side, so far I haven’t noticed any of those DYNASTY shoulder pads yet… but maybe I should bite my tongue?
You may wonder what I’m rambling on about? Why the title of this post? Well my darlings, let me enlighten you!
Yesterday, while out shopping with Z’s niece, who is MY AGE, we were wandering through a shoe store (naturally, since I have a serious addiction to shoes and handbags, much to my husband’s dismay). Strangely, I didn’t buy anything. But I digress….
So, while wandering around, we came upon sock displays. Ok. Fine. Oh these are cute! Blah blah, etc… Then my eyes drift downward…. niece’s apparently does too… she picks something off the rack, exactly what my eyes had become fixated on. She asks… “what the hell kind of socks are these?” I am afraid to touch them, dread and horror and realization slowly creeping into my consciousness. Finally, she shoves them into my hands for inspection. Guess what the hell they were? Were they socks? Knee socks? Um, no. NO! Any idea?
Leg warmers. Yeah, leg warmers. Many different colors and designs. “So what’s her damn problem?” you may think? Let me elaborate, shall I?
I live in Bahrain. It is a small island in the Persian Gulf off the coast of Saudi Arabia. It is a baby rat fart on the map. The daytime temperatures for the past days have been in the mid 140’s PLUS about 80% humidity! The evenings are much better at around 109-113 with about 90-97% humidity. Yes, as you may now be realizing, I live in hell! The temps will continue along this vein well into the end of September with the humidity getting even higher and the temperatures going so high that the weather people here begin to lie about it and not say it’s higher than 145 because if it gets hotter than that, outside labor will have to stop, and we can’t have that, now can we??? You know, humidity can get so high in fact, that early in the morning and at night, the air becomes very dense with it, like fog, so thick, you can’t see. Pea soup is an understatement.
Also, LEG WARMERS SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED IN THE COUNTRY, BECAUSE EVEN WITH THIS HEAT THERE ARE SOME REALLY STUPID-ASS PEOPLE THAT WILL WEAR THEM AND FORCE ME TO LAUGH HYSTERCAILLY AND POINT AT THEM IN PUBLIC PLACES. Ok, that and it’s just plain stupid.
Anyway, I had the sudden and overwhelming urge to start singing the theme to Flashdance!! I controlled it. Barely. I contented myself with laughing my ass off instead.
Don’t get me wrong; I will admit that I did wear them for a time in the 80’s. I carefully and very precisely arranged them and made damn sure they stayed that way, cause, well, that’s just how I am. (Apparently I’ve always been this way about socks and the like since I was a small child. My mom has told me that as young as about 2 and a half, I would insist on fixing my OWN SOCKS, making sure they were rolled or folded just so, and exactly alike, which would explain this vague memory I have of standing in front of a full length mirror in my bedroom at around age 3 or so, staring fixedly at my frilly socks in the mirror and repeatedly bending and fixing them to make sure they were even).
Anyway, that I wore legwarmers back in the 80’s, well, that was then. This is now. And I sure as hell wouldn’t dream of wearing them in hot weather.
I guess that I should be grateful that the funky rocker hair hasn’t come back, right? *shudder* Or, funky high heels worn with white little girl style frilly socks. *gag* Yeah, it couldn't be any worse, could it??
COULD IT???????
7/09/2004
Baaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Well, I'm doing it again. But if you know me AT ALL, you will know that THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL I COULD NOT DO THIS!
That being said, thanks to Genuine for sharing with the planet the new name of his penis courtesy of Rum and Monkey Blog! Since I firmly (heh, pun intended!) believe in turnabout is fair play, and since I feel like being a sheep again.... I would like to announce the name of my "female bits":
Yes, it's called THE FANTASTIC SEXY SOCKET!!!
and of course, because women are doubly blessed, I also have the pleasure to announce the name for my breasts as....
Oh go on! You know you want to take the tests yourself. DO IT!
Well, I'm doing it again. But if you know me AT ALL, you will know that THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL I COULD NOT DO THIS!
That being said, thanks to Genuine for sharing with the planet the new name of his penis courtesy of Rum and Monkey Blog! Since I firmly (heh, pun intended!) believe in turnabout is fair play, and since I feel like being a sheep again.... I would like to announce the name of my "female bits":
Please say hello to: is The fantastic sexy socket..
Take The Female Bits Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Yes, it's called THE FANTASTIC SEXY SOCKET!!!
and of course, because women are doubly blessed, I also have the pleasure to announce the name for my breasts as....
My mazabas names are is Cleopatra and Mickey.
Take The Boobs Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Oh go on! You know you want to take the tests yourself. DO IT!
7/07/2004
I'm Being A Sheep Today.... SO SUE ME!
I took this Quidzilla quiz because, well, Mindy and Genuine did, I loave the both of em to pieces, and I'm having one of my "Sheep follower" moments. Baaaaaaa, bleat bleat!!!
But lookie, aint' I cute? I look like Captain Caveman or something! (Actually, my hair gets like that without my Frizz-Ease here with the humidity. And if you laugh at me, I'll be forced to hurt you. Don't make me do that. It WON'T be pretty - much like my hair without the aforementioned Frizz Ease.) Follow me darlings... I have the urge to go play in the countryside. Come on, you KNOW you want to go frolic in the country with me!
Sings: "The hills are alive, with the sound of MUUUUSICCCCCCCCCCC......."
You are Zarathud the Incorrigible! A Hard nosed
Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible
Banger. You were once considered an offender of
the faith, a fact of which you are inordinately
proud to this day. People tend to follow your
lead. Too bad, because you like to take them
out into the countryside and lose them.
Which Erisian apostle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thanks to Pam the Beancounter for this....um...unique(!)Quidzilla Quiz.
Now I just have to figure out this trackback thingie so I don't get on her shit list.
I took this Quidzilla quiz because, well, Mindy and Genuine did, I loave the both of em to pieces, and I'm having one of my "Sheep follower" moments. Baaaaaaa, bleat bleat!!!
But lookie, aint' I cute? I look like Captain Caveman or something! (Actually, my hair gets like that without my Frizz-Ease here with the humidity. And if you laugh at me, I'll be forced to hurt you. Don't make me do that. It WON'T be pretty - much like my hair without the aforementioned Frizz Ease.) Follow me darlings... I have the urge to go play in the countryside. Come on, you KNOW you want to go frolic in the country with me!
Sings: "The hills are alive, with the sound of MUUUUSICCCCCCCCCCC......."
You are Zarathud the Incorrigible! A Hard nosed
Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible
Banger. You were once considered an offender of
the faith, a fact of which you are inordinately
proud to this day. People tend to follow your
lead. Too bad, because you like to take them
out into the countryside and lose them.
Which Erisian apostle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thanks to Pam the Beancounter for this....um...unique(!)Quidzilla Quiz.
Now I just have to figure out this trackback thingie so I don't get on her shit list.
7/05/2004
Babies, Babies, Babies!
WOW! When it rains, it pours! There is a major influx of babies in my life at the moment. And I'm lovin it!
I love children and ADORE babies. I am an exhausted mothers dream visitor. I will willingly ( and usually beg her to let me)give her a break and watch the baby so that she can have a little precious time for herself. Diapers don’t intimidate me. Most children love me, and I them. I can occupy myself playing with a child(ren) for hours, and have done so. Frequently.
Yesterday, as you all know from reading my blog, my friend Genuine and his wife welcomed little Aidan James into the Genuine Clan.
Now I love babies, am enthralled by them, (hell, I’m surrounded by babies!) but little Aidan? I took one look at that little guy, and watched him kick open the door to my heart and crawl right in and make himself nice and comfy for the duration. As a matter of fact, I had a reaction to him that I haven’t had towards any child since I first beheld my own newborn daughter. I’m not ashamed –but am still shocked-to say that I felt my heart get tight in my chest and then found tears filling and then silently overflowing my eyes and course down my cheeks. (I have a feeling that Gen is gonna tease me about this forever) I’m a big softie, I know!
Now when my blog pal Lee and his wifey welcomed their lovely and oh-so-precious Jayne to the world almost two weeks ago during the Haiku Smackdown, I had a completely different,and very typical for me,although no less emotional, reaction. Every single time I look at her (cause Daddy Lee knows how I lurve to lurk on that Baby Jayne Cam!) I have this overwhelming and uncontrollable urge TO JUMP INTO MY MONITOR!!! Like an idiot I find myself making the stupid baby noises that most adults make to little babies. To. A. Monitor. Uh-huh. Sigh. Jayne is really so adorable with a beautiful big smile. Lee asked me last night on IM…. “Does it make your uterus ache?”. Ya hon, it sure as hell does! I couldn’t have put it any better myself.
*note to uterus and reproductive neighbors, the Obtuse Ovaries: can you please, PLEASE straighten your damn self up and get your act together?”
Mindy and I have commented to each other that when we descend on Denver in October, we will probably end up playing “pass the baby” together…for hours. Taking turns between Aidan and Jayne (not to mention the older children!). She is as bad as I am. Heh.
A month ago, the triplets were born in my husband’s family. I am very close with the mother of these triplets, his niece, Azeen. I was with her through every step of her IUI and her pregnancy. She and I have been close since I first met my husband almost 15 years ago. She had 2 girls, Maya and Talia, and a boy, Khalid. None of them look the least bit like the other. The boy looks exactly like his dad. Talia looks like her older sister (the 2 ½ year old Leya, my little darling love) Maya looks like Azeen. A LOT. The other night, I had wandered down the street to see how the babies are doing and help out if needed. Azeen brought in Talia, and I looked at her and noticed what a lovely little nose she has! Right about the time Azeen looked from her baby to me and back again. Then she shook her head and said, “you know, I was just thinking what a pretty nose she has, then I noticed: SHE HAS YOUR NOSE! How the hell did THAT happen?” then she started laughing! She really does! What is funny about this is that I’m not related by blood to this baby, so DNA is totally out! No one in this family has a nose remotely similar to mine. It’s really a crack up. So now when she is carrying Talia says “here is little Talia that has Auntie Cyn’s nose for some strange reason”.
Then a few days ago, Azeen’s younger sister gave birth to her second child, a boy. That she swiped the Persian name (and the ONLY one that I have EVER liked-since I HAD to choose one) I had chosen for my own son and had been holding on to for 10+ years! Yes, Z made the mistake of mentioning it once and I guess it stuck in her head. Never mind that until about 2 weeks before she delivered, the baby’s name was going to be Joshua! Sigh.
The sister between these two has a little boy, Joey, who gives me the best hugs and he is so adorable and funny as anything. He is the stockiest little boy I’ve ever seen. He and Leya are one month apart in age. He looks 4. He took a flying leap at me last week for a hug and I thought I’d been jumped on by a 4-month-old bear cub! He just likes to hang off my neck with me holding him and give me kisses over and over and hugs. Well, that and for me to sing Barney with him. Oh yeah, I could sit like that ALL DAY! I think I should nick name him Bam-Bam! Yeaaah!
Last night, Z and his mom were talking in front of me (notice I didn’t say WITH ME?) about this new little baby, with the absconded name. He asked her what his name is (cause she butchers every single name imaginable for some stupid reason, even Persian names-her own nationality- which makes NO sense). She jerked it about a bit, and then he told her for the 1000th time the proper name. She said, “Your sister ‘N’, (not the grandma of said babies) said you were sad cause they took the name you wanted and she thought it wrong. Why? Like she (points and gestures to me) is gonna have anymore? HAH! Yeah, wait for HER to get pregnant and have you a son, OR daughter for that matter.”
You know, sometimes, I really wish she would just take a kitchen knife to me –repeatedly- instead of opening her mouth. I really, really do. It’s shit like that, that makes me wish I could pop out a set of twins (one each, preferably) just to watch her eat crow. (Not that I would mind having twins, period. There’s just that little added advantage, ya know?) Z let it slip last year that I was doing infertility treatment, and I wanted NO ONE IN HIS FAMILY, other than Azeen, to know I was doing it. Could he keep quiet and respect my wishes? NO! Now, her alternate comments run something like this: “Look, even with all this doctors and medicine she can’t get pregnant. Useless. Look, MY granddaughters, 3 of em, got pregnant using this stuff, but her? Nothing.”. If she only knew that if it wasn’t for the doctors and medicines 11 years ago, she wouldn’t have Arianna either!
Are you wondering if I said anything? Well guess what? I didn’t make one peep, like usual. Because you know what? That hurt like hell, but I was dammed if I’d let her see the damage she’d done and how it hurt me.
So, for now, until my ovaries decide to obey me, IF they decide to obey me, Dr. Wand Monkey, and all those drugs I get injected in my system to HELP THEM work properly, I’ll just have to be content to be Auntie Cyn to my “nieces and nephews” scattered hither an yon on the planet.
To all of these children in my life I say this: Welcome to the world little ones! There will always be a place on my lap and in my arms, a hug, a kiss, and a song for you from me, forever!
WOW! When it rains, it pours! There is a major influx of babies in my life at the moment. And I'm lovin it!
I love children and ADORE babies. I am an exhausted mothers dream visitor. I will willingly ( and usually beg her to let me)give her a break and watch the baby so that she can have a little precious time for herself. Diapers don’t intimidate me. Most children love me, and I them. I can occupy myself playing with a child(ren) for hours, and have done so. Frequently.
Yesterday, as you all know from reading my blog, my friend Genuine and his wife welcomed little Aidan James into the Genuine Clan.
Now I love babies, am enthralled by them, (hell, I’m surrounded by babies!) but little Aidan? I took one look at that little guy, and watched him kick open the door to my heart and crawl right in and make himself nice and comfy for the duration. As a matter of fact, I had a reaction to him that I haven’t had towards any child since I first beheld my own newborn daughter. I’m not ashamed –but am still shocked-to say that I felt my heart get tight in my chest and then found tears filling and then silently overflowing my eyes and course down my cheeks. (I have a feeling that Gen is gonna tease me about this forever) I’m a big softie, I know!
Now when my blog pal Lee and his wifey welcomed their lovely and oh-so-precious Jayne to the world almost two weeks ago during the Haiku Smackdown, I had a completely different,and very typical for me,although no less emotional, reaction. Every single time I look at her (cause Daddy Lee knows how I lurve to lurk on that Baby Jayne Cam!) I have this overwhelming and uncontrollable urge TO JUMP INTO MY MONITOR!!! Like an idiot I find myself making the stupid baby noises that most adults make to little babies. To. A. Monitor. Uh-huh. Sigh. Jayne is really so adorable with a beautiful big smile. Lee asked me last night on IM…. “Does it make your uterus ache?”. Ya hon, it sure as hell does! I couldn’t have put it any better myself.
*note to uterus and reproductive neighbors, the Obtuse Ovaries: can you please, PLEASE straighten your damn self up and get your act together?”
Mindy and I have commented to each other that when we descend on Denver in October, we will probably end up playing “pass the baby” together…for hours. Taking turns between Aidan and Jayne (not to mention the older children!). She is as bad as I am. Heh.
A month ago, the triplets were born in my husband’s family. I am very close with the mother of these triplets, his niece, Azeen. I was with her through every step of her IUI and her pregnancy. She and I have been close since I first met my husband almost 15 years ago. She had 2 girls, Maya and Talia, and a boy, Khalid. None of them look the least bit like the other. The boy looks exactly like his dad. Talia looks like her older sister (the 2 ½ year old Leya, my little darling love) Maya looks like Azeen. A LOT. The other night, I had wandered down the street to see how the babies are doing and help out if needed. Azeen brought in Talia, and I looked at her and noticed what a lovely little nose she has! Right about the time Azeen looked from her baby to me and back again. Then she shook her head and said, “you know, I was just thinking what a pretty nose she has, then I noticed: SHE HAS YOUR NOSE! How the hell did THAT happen?” then she started laughing! She really does! What is funny about this is that I’m not related by blood to this baby, so DNA is totally out! No one in this family has a nose remotely similar to mine. It’s really a crack up. So now when she is carrying Talia says “here is little Talia that has Auntie Cyn’s nose for some strange reason”.
Then a few days ago, Azeen’s younger sister gave birth to her second child, a boy. That she swiped the Persian name (and the ONLY one that I have EVER liked-since I HAD to choose one) I had chosen for my own son and had been holding on to for 10+ years! Yes, Z made the mistake of mentioning it once and I guess it stuck in her head. Never mind that until about 2 weeks before she delivered, the baby’s name was going to be Joshua! Sigh.
The sister between these two has a little boy, Joey, who gives me the best hugs and he is so adorable and funny as anything. He is the stockiest little boy I’ve ever seen. He and Leya are one month apart in age. He looks 4. He took a flying leap at me last week for a hug and I thought I’d been jumped on by a 4-month-old bear cub! He just likes to hang off my neck with me holding him and give me kisses over and over and hugs. Well, that and for me to sing Barney with him. Oh yeah, I could sit like that ALL DAY! I think I should nick name him Bam-Bam! Yeaaah!
Last night, Z and his mom were talking in front of me (notice I didn’t say WITH ME?) about this new little baby, with the absconded name. He asked her what his name is (cause she butchers every single name imaginable for some stupid reason, even Persian names-her own nationality- which makes NO sense). She jerked it about a bit, and then he told her for the 1000th time the proper name. She said, “Your sister ‘N’, (not the grandma of said babies) said you were sad cause they took the name you wanted and she thought it wrong. Why? Like she (points and gestures to me) is gonna have anymore? HAH! Yeah, wait for HER to get pregnant and have you a son, OR daughter for that matter.”
You know, sometimes, I really wish she would just take a kitchen knife to me –repeatedly- instead of opening her mouth. I really, really do. It’s shit like that, that makes me wish I could pop out a set of twins (one each, preferably) just to watch her eat crow. (Not that I would mind having twins, period. There’s just that little added advantage, ya know?) Z let it slip last year that I was doing infertility treatment, and I wanted NO ONE IN HIS FAMILY, other than Azeen, to know I was doing it. Could he keep quiet and respect my wishes? NO! Now, her alternate comments run something like this: “Look, even with all this doctors and medicine she can’t get pregnant. Useless. Look, MY granddaughters, 3 of em, got pregnant using this stuff, but her? Nothing.”. If she only knew that if it wasn’t for the doctors and medicines 11 years ago, she wouldn’t have Arianna either!
Are you wondering if I said anything? Well guess what? I didn’t make one peep, like usual. Because you know what? That hurt like hell, but I was dammed if I’d let her see the damage she’d done and how it hurt me.
So, for now, until my ovaries decide to obey me, IF they decide to obey me, Dr. Wand Monkey, and all those drugs I get injected in my system to HELP THEM work properly, I’ll just have to be content to be Auntie Cyn to my “nieces and nephews” scattered hither an yon on the planet.
To all of these children in my life I say this: Welcome to the world little ones! There will always be a place on my lap and in my arms, a hug, a kiss, and a song for you from me, forever!
7/04/2004
Aidan's HERE!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baby Aidan James was born at 2:30 am today! I'm so estatic and so very happy for them all. I don't have stats yet, but I'm sure he's just perfect! I just got my notification call from Houla Doula. (Again, thanks Tammy!)Mother and baby are doing fine. I'm glad, from a woman's point of view, that her labor was short.
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GEUNINE'S ON THE BIRTH OF BABY AIDAN JAMES!
According to inside sources... Genuine is beyond thrilled (Great catch Gen!Heh.) and also amazed that he has NO WAY TO POST ANYTHING TO HIS BLOG! Can't post. Can't audblog. Poor thing. Don't worry Gen, we'll all wait patiently for your blow-by-blow tomorrow. All of you get some rest!
(Do y'all think I could possibly use any more exclamation marks than I already have? No? Think again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Again, Congrats! Kiss that baby Aidan for me!
Love and hugs ~ Cyn
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baby Aidan James was born at 2:30 am today! I'm so estatic and so very happy for them all. I don't have stats yet, but I'm sure he's just perfect! I just got my notification call from Houla Doula. (Again, thanks Tammy!)Mother and baby are doing fine. I'm glad, from a woman's point of view, that her labor was short.
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GEUNINE'S ON THE BIRTH OF BABY AIDAN JAMES!
According to inside sources... Genuine is beyond thrilled (Great catch Gen!Heh.) and also amazed that he has NO WAY TO POST ANYTHING TO HIS BLOG! Can't post. Can't audblog. Poor thing. Don't worry Gen, we'll all wait patiently for your blow-by-blow tomorrow. All of you get some rest!
(Do y'all think I could possibly use any more exclamation marks than I already have? No? Think again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Again, Congrats! Kiss that baby Aidan for me!
Love and hugs ~ Cyn
Baby Aidan On The Way!
No, not MY baby Aidan,(don't I wish though?) but my friend Genuine's! Woohoooo! I'm so excited.
First his dog wanders back home, now his new son has decided to make his appearance. Actually, I told both he and the Mrs while chatting on IM a mere SIX hours ago, that since Dodger the dog showed up, Aidan shouldn't be too far behind!
I'd like to give a big THANK YOU to Genuine's SIL, Houla Doula for the long distance phone call alert at 6:30am my time that the baby was on the way. (Don't worry honey, I was almost out the door to go to work!) And an extra big THANKS to Genuine, for insisting that she call me! MWAAAAH to both of you! (If you don't mind, I'll save all demonstrations of affection for Mrs. G until AFTER her body is through expelling that baby out... she might get violent and smack me good in the middle of a contraction!)
I'll keep y'all updated when I get my next phone call.........(hint hint!)
No, not MY baby Aidan,(don't I wish though?) but my friend Genuine's! Woohoooo! I'm so excited.
First his dog wanders back home, now his new son has decided to make his appearance. Actually, I told both he and the Mrs while chatting on IM a mere SIX hours ago, that since Dodger the dog showed up, Aidan shouldn't be too far behind!
I'd like to give a big THANK YOU to Genuine's SIL, Houla Doula for the long distance phone call alert at 6:30am my time that the baby was on the way. (Don't worry honey, I was almost out the door to go to work!) And an extra big THANKS to Genuine, for insisting that she call me! MWAAAAH to both of you! (If you don't mind, I'll save all demonstrations of affection for Mrs. G until AFTER her body is through expelling that baby out... she might get violent and smack me good in the middle of a contraction!)
I'll keep y'all updated when I get my next phone call.........(hint hint!)
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