Smile

Here are a few things that give me a 'feel good' feeling, sure to get my undivided attention, and bring a smile to my face and a happy, peaceful feeling:

• The sight of a big jet plane taking off from a runway in the distance. I've been fascinated with planes since I was a toddler. "Mama, Daddy, AIPANE! AIPANE!!!" was commonly heard from me even if I only heard one overhead.
• A BIG flag - any flag basically- rippling and undulating in the wind.
• Windows down in the car, my face leaning into the wind-preferably with me in the passenger seat so I can close my eyes and enjoy it. I'm such a dog, huh?
• A sunset
• A soft breeze caressing my face and blowing through my hair
• Wiggling my bare toes in springy grass
• The laughter of a small child; the giggle of an infant
• A hug from my daughter
• The feel of a baby in cuddled close in my arms
• Remembrance of a kiss full of passion
• The sound of bagpipes
• Dolphins
• Waves lapping or crashing on the shore
• The beauty of a waterfall
• An email from a friend I haven't heard from in a while
• A new commenter on my blog
• A song on the radio that reminds me of someone special in my heart
• Being in a church - an instantaneous feeling of peace, calm, and warmth seeping through me from head to foot, like warm honey.
• The purring of a cat (surprise, surprise!)
• Floppy doggy and bunny ears- I've just GOT to touch and play with them, too!

What are some of yours?

A One Way Ticket

Welcome to another look into a day in the life of Scarlett Cyn. I hope you're prepared and don't have a weak stomach. It started off normal, whatever THAT is.

Interesting things get said at my dinner table. Like yesterday for instance.

Sitting with my husband and daughter having a sit down meal, the conversation turned weird. Weird because Arianna was playing 200 questions. Then she told her Dad "Enough with grandma. She is really psycho and needs to GO. Why don't you DO anything about her?" Oh yeah, now I remember what brought that comment on; he was talking about getting Ari a grown-up bedset and said he would give her wrought iron daybed (that I bought, HELLO!!!!???) to his mother. and I said "Cause she is obviously staying HERE forever...." That's what brought Ari's comment on.

Anyhooo, I stayed quiet, for now, and let Ari do all the talking. And BOY did she. She told her Dad that g-ma is really mean and horrible, espcically to Mom and how bad she is. He told her to be nice. Ari came back with "Why should I? I keep trying, but she is mean to everyone but you. Look at all the stuff she does and says to Mom!" and he just looks at me with this complacent look. I told him, "She is really bad, Z. You don't see things, because she controls herself when you are around, so DON"T play the age card on me anymore." He said "Well, I never see that side, so that makes it really hard to believe. And if it's that bad, you should defend your mother." Ari said "I do! But how much can I do? What about you? You should defend her too!" (That was priceless)I said, with Ari echoing me "When you aren't around, even in the TOILET/SHOWER, taking a walk, asleep, the stuff she does, the things she says, the behaviour is absolutely horrible. Ari: "She cusses and curses all the time at mom AND me too sometimes aaaaand Shony." then Ari went on to repeat what the usual/favorite things are that get said.

Now, apparently, the scary episode at 2am where MIL was cussing at me and placing curses (literally) on my head that had me frazzled all day at work last Sunday also woke Ari up. The witch was ooooozing evil- it was an actual presence, like how a high level of humidity feels- and it really, REALLY shook me up, even though I didn't let it show. I was also contemplating telling her off in return, but (!) It was some seriously skeery sh*t people! (Every time she does it this particular way, at this time of night, bad, really bad stuff happens to me. Every. Time. Sh*t like a miscarriage when I didn't know I was even pregnant (a miracle in itself), deathly ill-literally- I almost died a few times in a short span of months; I lost a job and financally was in very bad shape....for NINE MONTHS, serious car accidents where I was hospitalized for a week, shall I continue?) and she was behaving the way that used to give me night terrors about her stabbing me with a kitchen knife as I slept and scrawling my blood on the walls, so my tongue was kind of tied. I was also kind of afraid that if I lost my temper what I would do without anyone awake to interevene.

Anyway, did I forget to tell y'all about that episode the other night? Maybe because I was too freaked to re-live it so soon. Could be.

So. It seems that this woke Arianna up, and she proceeded to tell her dad this, that she was just sitting up in her bed in the dark, listening and repeated what she heard. He just shook his head and said "well... I don't see that side.." and Ari and I both looked at each other in exasperation and I said "wake UP." He said "Well, give me proof. Buy one of those little recorder things and tape her. Wait, you already have one." I said "She stole it ages ago. Remember? I bought it when Ari was little to record her babblings and giggles and whatnot to have forever. Remember? She took it AND the tapes, and then taped over them ALL, putting them in her answering machine that she DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO USE." to which Ari said "Yeah, I've seen it, the little black Sony one." Z: ----blank stare. Then I reminded him of the VIDEO I shot one morning. Nothin.

Then he said "Well, no one lives forever..." and I said "She will. She's doing a damn good job of it so far." to which Ari said something in such a blase, resigned, world weary tone, that the way,combined with the comment itself, made me choke on the bite of food I just put in my mouth.

Ready for the genuis that is my 10 1/2 year-old-going-on-40 daughter?

"Oh well, she's going STRAIGHT TO HELL ANYWAY. A One way ticket somewhere-finally."

No kidding! Amen.

*(A disclaimer: all conversations in this post were in normal speaking volume-excecpt for MIL's part. A discussion. It was NOT an argument. I don't allow that at my table!)

Sleep Tight

A few observations as I ready myself (and the house) for bed.

My husband once upon a time used to tell me "good night" at the very least while stumbling off to bed. Now, I think he is going to the bathroom and then I realize he is sound asleep in bed. So much for manners!

My daughter is at that 'quirky' (how I hate that term, but hell! It applies.) age where sometimes she wants lovin from Mama before bed and a story (Harry Potter usually!) or a song. Those nights are becoming few and far between. Usually when I insist on (duh!) installing some manners in her, ie: saying good night to your mom and dad, she balks. Oh. Joy.

In my mind, the score is 0 - 2 in the opposing team's favor.

I kind of sadly realized that Garfield, (remember him? He is getting freaking HEWGE, Y'all. So grown into the name. 100% Even the WALK.) and Bandit, my two little furball boys have set a bedtime routine. If I'm up too late, one of them comes, walks onto my shoulder down to my breasts and flops down for a snooze, after looking me in the eyes and meowing at me like "Yo! MOM! Get your butt in bed NOW! I wanna snuggle. SEE?" after which heproceeds to have a nice nap on. my. tits. people! This is cute now, but what about when he is full grown? I mean, yeah, there is plenty of room, but jeez! Not that much!

Anyhow, Garfee and Bandit escort me to the bedroom, follow me around like the secret service -one on each side-or something, until finally escorting me between the sheets. Then? Lots of purring and.. Bandit between the pillows with his chin on my shoulder. Garfield stretched out above my head playing with my hair until one of us passes out.

Fine. Excecpt, I just discovered one of the other girls snores like a freightratin. OH. My Heavens.


Meow! I'm off to bed now. Good Night darlings!

S.H.I.T. & Answers

Hi there everyone! All I can say is SHIT. So Happy It's Thursday! Yeeeeeee-haawwwww!! Here Thursday is like Friday everywhere else. WHOOOOT. A big shout out to one of my favoritest people in the whole world for helping me find an appropriate tagline for Thursdays on short notice. That's what a friend will do for you, yep! (By the way, SHUT UP about favoritest not being a real word. It is today.) heee. Thanks darlin, you're the BEST!

Sorry for the delay, but things have been crazily hectic at work the last couple of days and I’ve dragged myself home completely exhausted. Too exhausted, sadly, to even glance at my home PC to post my answers. I’m sure you all can say “Been there, done that!” and understand.

So, without further ado, lets cut to the chase, shall we?

Cheryl b asked:

If it was up to you what would Arianna be when she grows up? And none of this "she can be whatever she wants to be". I KNOW that you will let (and help) her to do what it is that SHE wants. What does she currently want to do with her life?

Of course you are right Cheryl b, I will let and help her do what SHE wants to do with her life (well, as long as it’s legal!). She is actually at that age, 10 ½ where she is back and forth about what she wants to do.

She already talks about going to college, which she wants to do back home in the US, but not necessarily what subject she wanted to persue. She even had planned to go to live in my Nana’s house-which belongs currently to my Aunt Arlene- in Long Island (Nana passed away almost 10 years ago) and maybe go to Stonybrook University which is 5 minutes from the house. Then one day last year she caught me kind of upset after I read an email from my aunt that she was considering selling the property. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia and memories in that house. My father helped build it with his own hands when he was 18-19 years old. His step-father’s (Aunt’s dad) thumb is in the foundation even! Arianna looked at me all sad and said “That SUCKS mom! I hope not. Cause then where are we gonna stay when I’m in college?” This is when I heard her whole master plan. I must say I was quite impressed that she had things this deeply thought out. She has mentioned several times she’d like to be a scientist or perhaps something in the medical field. I mentioned that maybe if she decided to go into medicine that she might like to consider something in the reproductive field, seeing as how I fight with infertility and she herself is a result of it, and if there wasn’t these medicines and doctors, I wouldn’t even have her. She thought it a valid point to consider and she got it right off. “That way Mom, I can help people have kids that have problems like you and some of your friends.”

Precisely darling!

That being said, about six months or so ago, she told me in the car (for some reason, she loves having deep conversations when it is just me and her in the car) “Mom, if I tell you what I want to be when I get older, you promise you won’t get mad?” I told her no. She hmmmmd and haawwwwed for a bit, throwing hints. But she said she was toying with the whole acting thing. She completely idolizes Hillary Duff, by the way, and the fact that she makes “decent” movies. I said to her “I’m not mad, I actually think you would probably be a good actress (she has some scary-serious natural talent), and my only remark is this. If you decide to follow this, it’s probably a shame I moved you away from Los Angeles. She was pleasantly surprised.

Like I said, whatever she wants to do. I just prefer that she not struggle any more than necessary and have a good enough job so that she doesn’t have to depend on anyone else, but be able to take good care of herself as an adult. But I guess that’s what every parent wants for their child.


Anonymous asked me:

What is your opinion on Mt. St. Helens today?

Okaaaaaay Anon. I think that Mt. St. Helen’s is going to erupt in a big way and fairly soon. In fact, geologically speaking, how she has been behaving in the past 6 months or so, I’m frankly surprised it hasn’t blown it’s lid yet.

How’s that? And thanks for asking, whomever you may be!


Pirate Wench (Wenchie) asked me:

If you could relive your senior prom, without changes, would you? Why or why not?

Aw HELL NO, woman! I got stood up for prom.

My STUPID ASSHOLE date apparently was hanging out with his friends earlier that day, got stoned (I found out 2 years later) and forgot everything. I was really pissed. I kept calling his house when he was really late and no one would give me a straight answer. It would be a cold day in hell before I went stag, considering I had planned to go with a guy that was a year or two older. I finally gave up and changed from my clothes and went out to a horribly expensive dinner with my best friend instead.

The fillet mignon I had that night was particularly tasty, so no, I wouldn’t change that part of the evening one bit!!

Well, thanks for dropping by. See ya!

Finally

Sombody kiss me. I'm officially permanent at my job as of 1 hour ago!

The other day my boss handed me a blank performance appraisal and told me "How do you think you've done?" me: *blank stare* then, the quick save "I"ve done quite well, I think!". Jeez y'all, what did he think I would say? I don't know why I'm still here? I mean REALLY NOW!

So I did what any intelligent person would do. I filled out the form myself and handed it in to him the next morning for discussion.

First, he laughed at my audacity, to which I pointed out one of my positive points "Is pro-active;takes initiative" Granted, I did fill out one or three little things in the "Areas of Improvement" section. I was frankly stumped on how to re-word "Get it through CEO's thick, habitually-late-couldn't-be-on-time-to-his-own-funeral skull that when I gently remind him 5 times that he really must leave for that appointment, like, 15 minutes ago because there is traffic- OHMYGOD LOOK DOWN AT THE TRAFFIC OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW FOR HEAVENS SAKE ITS LIKE A PARKING LOT-MOOOOVVVEEEEEE!", then he tells me later: "you have to manage me and make sure I leave!" and I somehow manage to keep myself from leaping for his throat with claws extended but not, I fear, stop myself from staring at him goggle-eyed in shock because I literally walk in, after about the 3rd or 4th reminder and, depending on who if anyone is inside with him, I take his blazer off the hanger on the back of the door, walk over to him and pick up his mobile phone and hold them both out to him, arms extended while backing towards the door.

So, I worded it to read like this: "Needs to managed CEO better with regard to scheduled meetings/appointments." Although, I honestly don't know what else I could do unless........

I think I just gave myself carte blanche to drag him out by his ears, didn't I? Woohooo! Love that!

Now then, ranking myself for the key points of the company philosophy: scale of 1-5 1 being unsatisfactory and 5 being excellent, 4 being very good, etc..) I rated myself all 4's and 5's. This illicited a grin from him when reading it. I could have put all 5's, but he is a tough cookie, so I took it easy on him. hee hee. Two things I didn't skimp on were a) Personal Characteristics and core Skills and b) Interpersonal Qualities/Communication and c) job knowledge. THOSE were all a 5.

The best thing of all? He didn't change ANY OF IT, but instead added positive and good comments to it in writing. Verbally he looked at me,grinned and said "Congratulations! You are officially permanent. That is saying a lot, because I do not make people permanant easily. You have met my admittedly high expectations and surpassed them." Lord knows he is right. He has let TWO members of senior management go before they could finish 5 weeks with the bank! I thanked him, shook his hand, took my review, and hightailed it out of the office!

Finally, thank GOD, some form of stability. Amen.

Ewwwwwww!!!

I have been noticing a very strange occurance while driving lately. It seems that, I'd say, about 80% of the people I see in my rearview mirror are picking their noses.

And not just the unobtrusive style picking of the nose either. I mean, if they dig any deeper they might be mining diamonds, or drilling for oil. This morning I saw a guy behind me with half his index finger crammed, hook style up his nostrils, first one, then the other-over and over again. Apparently it was a particulary stubborn booger. 7am is WAAAY too early for me to see this. (traffic was like a parking lot, so not too much else to do particulary when I almost got rear-ended by the nose picker who was too busy drilling his schnozz to hit the brakes!)

Actually, any time of day is the wrong time for me to see this. Then imagine this dude goes to work and shakes hands with people? My boss is a compulsive hand shaker. I wonder if he also is a nose picker?

OMIGOD! Somebody pass me the Lysol Spray, QUICK! and while you're at it, post me some questions!

Meanwhile, I'll go wash my hands with scalding water.

Guess What?

I have to admit it.

I know you're out there reading my blog, right now. Even if you don't comment. How?

Beacause I've been nursing a secret addiction for months now. I just want y'all to know.....I'm *deep breath*... addicted to Site Meter.

I check it compulsively. Throughout the day. Just so you know?

Peek-a-boo! I see youuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. Get comfy. Hang out awhile whydontcha?

*Crickets Chirping*

I just wanted to get my shameless request for Inquisition questions this week out early. Or is it on time? Who knows?

Anyhoo, you can ask me a question, whatever you like, by Tuesday, 12 noon Pacific Time (for those of you that blog at work!) and then I will, hopefully, in short order answer them all.

Carrie Jo, did you want a reminder this week honey? You told me you forgot last time.

Gimmie. Gimmie.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to wish all you Mommy's and all you Mommy-to-be's out there a very Happy Mother's Day!

But most especially, I'd like to wish my own Mama a Happy Mother's Day.

Thanks for not only teaching me all the things you did, but for raising me right and with loads of love, caring and understanding. You always seem to know right when I need you, no matter the distance between us. Be it 10 minutes or 10,000 miles away.

Thank you for being the best role model in so many ways to me. You taught me by example how to be a good Mom, loyal friend, dedicated worker, and all-round decent (I think) person. To keep a promise given, always love with all my whole heart, to smile and laugh through the pain, be it physical, mental or emotional, to never give up, to understand the true meaning of sacrifice for the sake of others, and to be gracious in defeat. I've yet to meet a more genuine person than you. Some come close, but somehow, not quite the same. The beauty you have outside pales in comparison to the beauty within your heart and soul.

I've always thought that if I could be half as good a person as you are, then that would be more than most people could ever be. It's a tall order to fill, but I'm still trying!

Thanks for everything. There are not words enough to express how much I love you and admire you for all that you are. You're one special lady, today and every day.

I love you Mama....forever and ever.

Wandering Thoughts

Does anyone else occasionally yearn for the days when your greatest worry was trying to figure out:

a) How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
b) What Mom was making for dinner.
c) When Dad would get home from work
d) How to convince mom/dad to let you stay up an extra half hour.

I know I do. Like today for instance. Who knew back then what a pain in the ass it sometimes is to be an adult?

Now I'm Mom and I'm wondering - on the way home from work- what in the HELL am I going to make for dinner and too brain fried to put much-ok, any!!- concentration into it. Then later, trying to figure out how to get to bed a half an hour EARLY. (which I never seem to do!)

Sigh. I didn't realize how good I had it.

Although, to be completely honest? I sometimes do wonder how many licks it takes...............


...............to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, you sickos!

Damn! Get your minds out of the gutter! There's only room for me in the gutter today, and I'm doing laps!

The Inquisition Confession - Week 23 (or something)

It's that time of the week again. The time when I unleash the bits and pieces that make me, me at your request. Sometimes the questions are easy to answer, others? I have to reach back in my memory and dig out, and occasionally it takes a lot of nerve for me to post the answer at all. God help you all, it's a long one this week.

But I always do. So. To this week's questions:


Catrina asked me :

Have you ever bought something from the Home Shopping Network on television?

Nope honey, I sure haven't. Not that I haven't been tempted and come damn close several times.

I had a funny feeling someone might ask me what Wenchie did this week:

How did you and your husband meet?

We met on the way to a gay club.

I bet THAT got your attention, now didn't it?

Actually, in LA? At least back then, I'd found, the best music, least hassle, and most fun is in the gay clubs. You can let your hair down and have a good time dancing without worrying about feeling like you're in a meat market. (Back me up here, Cat! HELP!) Well, in my case, except for the odd lesbian that grabbed my ass once or twice, but that's neither here nor there.

Soooooo, anyway, I was very good friends in college with Z's younger brother for at least 8 months and I had heard a lot about this older brother, but had never met him, (who happened to be gay) and a bunch of friends were going out dancing that night, and I was invited to come along. At the time I was taking more than a full load of classes day and night, AND working full time as well and had just dragged my tired ass in from a night class. They kept insisting I come along, and I said "I'm really not in the mood to drive all that way" and they said oh, don't worry! C's brother is gonna drive us! So, I said "I finally get to meet the elusive "Z", huh? Well, ok, I'll come." I got ready and eventually they showed up.

He was driving his jeep, I hopped in the backseat with my pal Bonnie after a brief introduction to Z and off we all went, music blaring to go meet our friends at the club. Sitting behind Z, every now and then I caught him looking at me in the rearview mirror (which he still denies vehemently to this day!), but I didn't think much of it. So…….

It was really fun. A big group of us dancing, then later we all went to a huge booth and started talking. Z and I started talking, and we kind of 'clicked', even though he was going on and on about the breakup of his relationship and about the girl he had been seeing (he denies this too- SO delusional, poor schmuck). I distinctly remember thinking to myself, "What the hell am I? Dr. Ruth? Every single guy friend I've been talking to lately has been talking to me about his relationship problems!?UGH." On and on he went about the breakup of the relationship…yadda yadda yadda….but still and all, we got along really well. Like I said, we 'clicked'.

The next day in class, C told me "you know? I've NEVER seen my brother click like that with anyone before! I think he really likes you." After that, Z and I went from friendship to dating at light speed. There wasn't one day that we didn't see each other. It's all kind of a blur, honestly. I kept on dating him even after I found out he dragged me to his ex's work to show me off to make her jealous-which she WAS. (AFTER I ripped him a new orifice or two for using me like that). I can't even define when things changed between us from friend to more than that, but I know it was more than a month till he kissed me. (I remember thinking he must not like me that way-other than as a friend- since he hadn't made a move of any kind up to that point.). One night he told me how much he liked me and I said "you're kidding? I thought you didn't like me in that way!" and he said "Why on Earth would you think that?" I said "You haven't even tried to give me even the smallest kiss!". He told me he had decided to take it slow. Well, up until that point, anyway. Next thing I knew, I was being kissed out of my mind! Heh. So much for taking it slow. He went from not kissing me at all, to taking any opportunity to do so. More often than not, I would find myself backed against a wall being kissed senseless when no one was around.(which wasn't all that often at his house, people were always over and monster and brother living there too!) He loved those sneaky, blow-your-mind kisses. Ok, ok. So did I. I am still fond of them, whenever I get one. My favorite memory? We went down to the garage to go somewhere (it was a condo), I don't remember where, he looked at me, then in my eyes, and next thing I knew, he had me seated up on the jeep bonnet, standing between my knees, hands in my hair, and his mouth plastered to mine. When HE was done, he helped me down, and got me seated in the jeep somehow. Talk about blow-your-mind! Whooh.

Even after I found myself developing feelings for him, I recall devoutly praying he wouldn't turn out to be a jerk in the end like so many others. He tended to do sweet things that really appealed to me. He would come visit me at work, just because he missed me, with a rose in hand. Once he surprised me with a bottle of perfume 'because it smelled like you, to me". Ahhhh, those were the days.

I had promised myself I would NEVER be the first one to say the words "I love you" ever again. The death-knell with most men, those 3 little words. Then one night he dropped me off at Bonnie's to get my car, and as I hopped out of the passenger seat, those very words exploded from his mouth: "Good night! I love you.". I froze, then slowly turned around to look at him, not sure I'd heard correctly. He looked horrified like he wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel or something in disbelief.

One thing that made me look at him as more than a friend was something he told me late one night when we were talking. (That was one thing I liked. We could talk about anything back then.) He told me about his eldest sister and her husband and how much he HATED him for fucking around on his wife (Z's sis). I said "Are you sure?" He said "from a very young age, I saw him with his hand up my other sister's SIL's (got that?) skirt working her with a fervor. I was about all of 9 years old. He tried to blackmail me with money and candy to keep my mouth shut. Even then I wouldn't have told her. Later as I got older, when I moved here to the States, he got me jobs where he worked under the condition I not say we're family. So, my co-workers not knowing that this dork is my brother-in-law, were talking about him screwing this co worker and that, Male and female. Anything he could get INTO he would do. I hate him for screwing around on my sister. The whole family does. But we can never tell my sister, because it would kill her. And she's in denial about him besides." I looked at him in a totally different light from that moment on. I'd been cheated on in the past, and, emotional baggage and all, was really afraid of getting hurt again. I figured that someone that was that incensed over infidelity would probably never cheat on me. (His ex had cheated on him too, btw, and that's why he broke up with her.) I thought, I could marry a person like this.

We met March 21. He asked me to marry him June 21. We were engaged for about a year and a half. So, basically, it's all my BIL C's (Shayda's) doing, my marriage, when you get right down to it. He was even our best man.

What's funny is that most everyone that knew us, all the people he worked with too, we're all betting it wouldn't last more than 1 year. (The ex and her friends gave us 6 months, actually.) That I would get fed up with his shit-cause, well, he CAN be a real bastard when he wants to and likes to mind fuck with people and push every last button (although at the time, he really didn't do that with me)- and we'd divorce. C still talks to z's ex every now and then, and her ass is still burning. She STILL asks "are they STILL married?" all snide like. Even with his mother's daily OUT LOUD chanting prayers that he divorce me (even telling Ari this) and doing her best to make it happen I was determined to show them all…….

And here I sit over 14 years later, somewhat worse for wear, tortured by a truly evil woman, emotionally worn out more often than not, but still here. But, I've worked my ass off in this marriage to make it last as long as it has, to make it work. No one can ever say I didn't, cause they would be lying through their teeth Damn me, but I'm a stubborn, determined, obstinate wench. Stubborn, stupid, whichever way you want to look at it, I suppose.

It'll probably be my undoing eventually, you know?

Next question. Last question.

Ah, Cheryl b.; I love her. I really do. Sometimes she's so predictable. (Once upon a time she worked in a s*x shop, you understand?) SO that is why I say she is 'predictable', so to speak. Don't believe me? Check out what she asked me *snicker* :

Do you own a vibrator? If so, what kind?

I could have sworn I had this conversation on IM with someone, and I mistakenly thought in my muddy memory it was Cheryl, but now, on further consideration, I remember it was …. Carrie Jo.

No Cheryl honey, *sobs* I don't own one. *whimper, sob, sniffle* They don't sell them here where I live and customs goes through the packages IN FRONT OF YOU at the post office. *waaaaaaaaaaaah* Can you just imagine if they whipped one of those out of a box at the PO? Sweet Lord.

*Stomps feet like 2-year old* (hee heee) I don't. I don't. I don't.have.one… more's the pity. Unlike SOMEONE I know that received FOUR for Christmas last year. Look babe, you have got to get ME in good - or put in the good word for me at least woman! - with Santa for this year! Hook me up, yo!

But hey, I'm not against a 'care' package!

Well, thanks one and all for the questions this week. Sorry I didn't get my replies up sooner. Work was a tad bit hectic this week. I'll do better next week, I promise.

Entertainment and Stuff....

Lets see now, I've been requested -very politely, I might add-to post something entertaining. Let me think.....

*blank stare....crickets chirping*

Entertaining.... could that be the instantaneous onset of a migrane right after a big-ass sneeze about an hour ago? No. I don't think that's particulary entertaining.

How about Miss Scarlett, my hussy cat having kittens today? (for the record 1 solid black boy who has already been named Merlin and a black&white... girl, I think) That's mildly entertaining. Also the fascination all the other cats have with the whole birthing box thing. They are all taking turns hanging over the side and looking in, then looking at me like "What the hell?".

Still, only mildly enteratining.

What was a wee bit entertaining was the wedding reception party I attended last night. It was a bit entertaining and a wee bit sad when this older woman (early 50's) tripped on the hem of her evening gown and fell down-backwards!- in the middle of the dance floor directly in front of where I was sitting. 3 people tried to help her up but she almost took them down with her in the process. Did I mention that it was all on video? Good lord, better her than me!

Now that was actually a bit amusing.

What I find highly amusing is that when I was driving home at about 2:15am, my Mama called my mobile phone and we had a lovely chat for well over an hour. I got home about 2:35 and, since the reception is horrid in my house AND Monster likes to try and eavesdrop even though she knows next-to-nil English, so I sat in the car talking in peace, quiet, and relative privacy. What's amusing about that?

Monster spying on me from the windows, is what! And then? When I thought Mama was winding down and gonna hang up, I got out and started towards the front door from the garage with the strong wind whipping my floor length Carribbean blue organza gown and my almost waist length hair around me, still chatting. I stood at the little wrought iron gate with its arch of fuschia bourganvilia that opens onto the walkway to my front door, enoying the night, enjoying just hearing my Mom's voice when I see it, a movement at the window.

Monster's window. Once........ Twice.............. and again 10 minutes later, thrice.

Nosy old bat. I knew what she was going to do. Silly old nosy bitch.

and boy did she.

She snitched to Z this morning. Gave her typical report.. with her own evil, insuinating slant to things. Can you guess?

"Yeah, Z, "C"came home at 2:35 and then she sat in the car talking on the phone until3:00, then she got out and stood at the gate talking on the phone until about 3:15-3:20. What was she doing? Who do you think she was talking to? Hmmmm????"

This much I know she said. I don't know what else she said, because Z said to me "So, did Mom call you last night? And I said "Yeah. She said hi and sent you her love. She mailed a big summer care package of stuff for Arianna." He said "oH, what time?"

My reply? "The same time your mom told you, I'm sure, give or take 10-15 minutes." Stupid, y'all, I'm not.

I said "And the reason I stayed outside was so that I could talk to my Mother in privacy and peace without some nosey thing trying to eavesdrop and figure out what I was saying and who I was talking to." To which I recieved a simple nod.

Well darlin, that's about as entertaining as I'm gonna get this post. What can I say? It's been a slow week. But anything could happen, you know? Next post will be.......answers to the inquisition, and SOON!

A Good One! Or Two.

What I love about these "reality" talk shows like Jerry Springer, for instance, are the comments from the audience.

I just HAD to share this one with you all because, well, it still has me chuckling.

Comment made to a transvestite (and an U.G.L.Y. one too, not one of those gorgeous ones!) by a really pretty female audience member:

"Honey, I know you got hit with an ugly stick, but DAYUM, did you have to hit every single branch on the way down the tree?"

bwahahahahahahaha. That IS good. I've never heard that before.

And a comment said to me today on the phone by someone (a male) trying to spell a company name to me...

Him: "P-T-D. P for Paul. T for Tree. D for... Degenerate."

Me: ------------blank look------"uhh"---------

Me: "Did you just say DEGENRATE OR AM I HEARING THINGS?"

Him: "Yeah. Degenerate. WHAT?"

Me: "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaa NO YOU DIDN"T! HAHAHAHAH DEGENERATE!??!!"
" Oh my God. Off the top of your head? "

Him: *laughing with me*"Well, what would you suggest Cyn?"

Me: "Oh I don't know, how about..... D for DOG?"

Him: "Well, I guess there is that."

Then both of us proceeded to laugh our buts off for a while longer until I eventually subsided into little giggles. Yeah. Giggles. Good thing I know him pretty well, huh? Extremely professional of me, isn't it?

As if I could control myself? As is, today, not much later, I heard one of the Sr. bosses say loudly to a manager in his office "well, your 5 minutes you asked for is up. Thanks!" to which he got up and walked out of his office leaving them sitting there.

This sent me in to fresh guffaws doubled over on my desk trying to muffle the almost shrieks escaping me.

At least my bosses like it when they make me laugh. This added to the fact that I picked up a pepsi from a fast food rest that was sitting on my desk, and the second I got the straw near me for a sip, the whole damn thing overflowed like a volcano... on my blouse, on my lap DOWN MY BLOUSE. It was like a puddle in my cleavage of Pepsi. Thank heavens my blouse was shades of brown and beige today. Poor H, my assistant, she was sitting in front of me and went into hysterics. I can't say I blame her. She told me "You should have seen your FACE!".... really, my week wanted only something like this.

Now then.

Any one have questions?

Carrie Jo? Ollie? ANYONE? Helloooooooooooooooo? Whasamatter? Yer fingers broken? Careful now, I've got a Pirate Wench friend now who'll make ya walk the plank!

I'm waitin. *twirls a lock of hair between fingers*

The Brain Fart

That phrase, my friends, is the best thing to ever come out of Britney Spears' mouth. (Notice I said come out of, not go in? Heh heeeeee, I'm bad)

Anyhoo, it's the best thing Britney did because I had one, obviously,which Wenchie so adorably reminded me of. It seems I forgot - GASP!!!- to ask y'all to hit me with your Inquisition questions this week. My bad. (Why am I tempted to do a Dobby-like punishment of myself?) (for those of you with a blank look on your face, Dobby, the house elf from Harry Potter? Bashes the shit out of himself when he does something wrong with the nearest wall, or piece of furniture? Sigh. Go watch a H.P. movie, willya?)

So. QUESTIONS. BRING. THEM. ON.EVERYONE. I'm ready. (I think) Yes Wenchie, this means YOU!

Now WHY Did I Do That?

I'm sure many of you have had people joke with you about putting your mobile phone on 'vibrate' and sticking it in your pocket, right? haha. Something along the lines of "the phone company will be running a test during which your cell phone will be vibrating for 10 minutes, sit on it and enjoy." or something like that. Yeah. Lord knows I have had it said to me and SMS'd it in return. I mean, it's a joke. Who the hell would actually do such a thing, right? Do you know anyone that would do such a thing? No?

Well now you do.

But I did not, I repeat DID NOT do it on purpose!!

I was at work and as a rule, I switch my mobile phone to silent. Now, whatever mode my phone may be in, it's always on "vibrate" as well, just so that I can notice it jumping around when it rings. Problem is that on this day I forgot to switch it to "silent" so it was on the usual MAX ringing volume 5 when I was talking to my assistant in my office. It started ringing loud and as there were lots of people around, including bosses, and I didn't want to get nailed for the phone ringing, I snatched up the phone with every intention of muffling the sound as best and as quickly as I could.

So I sat on it.

And then promptly jumped about a foot in my chair ("WOoooOH!") because I remembered about the whole vibration alert thing a little late. Like when it was under my buttcheek. My assistant was chuckling her head off (who could blame her, really?) and in the end I was laughing too. But hey! At least the sound was muffled and the phone didn't ring very long.

You know something? Those phones have quite a lot of kick in them!

I pray ONE of you at least can tell me they've done something almost as dumb as this. I feel like such an....ass. And a vibrating one at that!

A Good Friend

Do you know what the sign of a really good friend is?

When you are feeling absolutely rotten, sad and down, moping and brooding all over the place and feeling a million miles away from the people that know and love you best. (Homesick x 100)

The phone rings, and it is your friend that lives in a completely different country on the other end of the line whose dear voice you haven't heard in ages calling for no specific reason other than to tell you how much they miss you and love you and when-oh-WHEN are you going to get around to bringing your ass over for a visit? (I'm trying honey, really, I'll be there before, oh, the end of the decade? Haha!)

That phone call is just what I needed, right when I needed it most. Never mind the fact that I was choked up by the end of the call, even as I laughed my tail off. How absolutely contradictory of me. It's amazing how much we crammed into such a short phone call particulary considering the fact that we speak in our own weird abbreviated code and double-time. .

So thanks, Breezie Lee, for the phone call. It and YOU was just what the proverbial Doctor ordered. You're a true-blue buddy and I love you for it. I was still in my funk, but feelin the love, long-distance style!

* Note to self : Must learn some Italian before visiting Breezie in Italy... whenever that will be.

Red Haze Of Fury

Most all of you know I have infertility problems. That I have had these problems for the past 15 years at least. Those of you that know me personally and well, know how much I love and adore children. God above, I'm not even safe in a grocery store, since I had a hard time keeping my hands off this happy little strawberry blonde 6 month old girl I saw just an hour ago. I wanted to squeeze and kiss her to pieces, (ok, and take her home to love forever) but contented myself with talking to her and getting a big toothless smile instead.

Therefore, when I read something like this, my Irish temper, which is usually like Mt. Etna with rare but explosive eruptions, snaps. Completely and totally.

Someone let me at this bitch, PLEASE? I could pound her murderous ass to pieces using my bare hands with a smile on my face until I got tired. I'd like to grab her by that poofy bleached hair and drag her naked over hot coals mixed with broken glass. (Creative, aren't I?)What made me even more furious? That the autopsy showed that the 3 year old girl and 9 year old boy FOUGHT BACK. Or tried to.

These poor babies were fighting for their lives against... their mother who allegedly (HAH!) (for all you politically correct people out there) stabbed them EACH over 200 times. Goddammit, look at the size of your average 3 year old. How the hell is there even space to stab one over 200 times?

I'm not a person given to hate, I'm really not. I've hated, truly, about 1 or 2 people in my entire life. Even monster I don't hate, but I really dislike her INTENSLY and she disgusts me.

But this Tonya bitch? I hate her. If she hated her kids that much, she should have given them to Social Services or a relative. I've been mad as a parent, I'm sure everyone has at one point or another, but to use several different knives to hack up your own kids? That you carried in your own body? That you stayed up late with when they were teething, or sick. That give you unconditional love just because you are Mama?

What really disgusts me is that I'm sure she is going to cite "temporary insanity" and get off, or just get stuck in a mental ward somewhere. I have one hope for her....and it's called jail justice. If you don't know what it is, just remember what happened to Jeffrey Dhammer. THAT is jail justice. Scott Pe*erson will proably get his, too.

God I'm so pissed I have chest pains.

I can't belive I just ranted a whole post about this. I think I'm going to be sick.

Later babies.

So Typical

"Recover Post" my ass, Blogger.com.

There is this cute little link-thingie staring at me from my blogger.com dashboard entitled "recover post". So, when I actually tried it after writing a LONG ASS POST (yes, even longer than usual to fully describe my trauma) and something went wrong, I tried to 'recover" said post with much hope.

It does NOT, repeat NOT, work, people.

But I bet you THIS post manages to get posted,huh?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????????*sob*

The Post In Which I Spill My Guts

Or something like that. I think I'll cut right to the chase this week, hmmm?


Cheryl b sounds like she has had one helluva hard time lately. Check out her question this week:

Have you ever gotten so fed up with your piece of shit job that you walked out in the middle of your shift? (something I may or may not have done last night hee hee)

First things first. Cheryl b!!! What damn rock have you been hiding under, woman? I’ve missed you honeybunch! *Huuuuuuuuuuuuug*

Now to answer your question.

Hell yes. Been so fed up I almost walked out the front door. Several times. Fortunately -or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it- right as I got anywhere near the front door, I remembered the bills and the car loan payment going to be due that stopped me in my tracks. Barely. Most of the time it was when I waiting tables with Cat and trying to put my ass through school.

Cat, remember the square dancers? UGH. (“Gee, who wants the table of 25 that just crawled in 15 min to closing?”) Molly fixed them but GOOOOOD. I totally didn’t mind (ok, only a little) what she did to them. Best milkshake that boy ever had. Yeah, I bet. Goddamn Schooner Sundaes and milkshakes. I still have nightmares about that crap. Do you? Pop Quiz Cat: what’s “Sub 55”? Heh. Bet I got you.

Speaking of Cat, here’s her question:

At what age will you stop trying to get pregnant?

I’ll stop trying when :

a) they tell me I have no more eggs or they are all dried up
b) they decide that I need a hysterectomy (I hope to God not!) or I’ve hit my menopause
c) my early 40’s
d) when I’m dead.

You know how I am Cat, when I set my heart and mind on something. Determined and patient.

Hey Pirate Wench! You are safe darling, when you asked me:

Have you ever been stalked or stalked someone yourself? (I hope I haven't used this one already, or I'm going to have to resort to "If you were ice cream, what flavor would you be?")


Well, I haven’t really stalked anyone technically, although I was with a friend who was stalking this guy she had a crush on in High School, but I was truly trying to talk her out of it cause it freaked me out. So I guess you could say I was an accessory to the stalker?

I don’t think my autograph hunting really counts, because, well, I went where I knew the celebrity would be (inside info from my boyfriend, my first true love), and as they say: I came, I saw, I conquered. (If any of you are a wee bit hung over, that means I got my autograph and/or photo and left.)

Been stalked? Um, there was this guy here that was sorta stalking me for about 3 years. But in a non-threatening kind of way. He saw me at the weddings and would always try to chat me up in dark parking lots as I was leaving (with my then-young daughter- HELLO???) and I wouldn’t give him the time of day. Then one day I was in the elevator at work with him and didn’t realize it, and about 30 minutes later, he called my office looking for me. Turns out he had called every single company in the building trying to find me till he succeeded. I told him I am married and he said “So?”, which irritated me more than anything. I politelty told him to take a hike. I think he is one of Z’s distant cousins or something too. Lame, no? What a dork.

As for the flavor of ice cream I’d be…. That all depends on which flavor is most lickable. Yes, I said LICKABLE.

For the record? Can I just say that Ollie has me green with envy at her freezerful of FREE, yes FREE Dove ice-cream bar samples. But I love her anyway. Ollie baby, just remember… sharing is caring.

Well thank you my lovlies for your questions. I just LOVE IT when I get questions.

Until my next post, see ya!

What's On…

This morning Z woke me up and said "You know something? You were singing in your sleep just now. You woke me up." Me, ever practical, said "What time is it? Oh. So basically you have to get ready for work anyway, hmm?" (yeah, I’m quick like this groggy and sleepy, imagine me wide awake with caffeine? Scary, huh?) Then, curious, I asked "How loud?" and he replied, "Loud enough to wake me up… and it was a slow song". Me : (in my head) So…. Loud enough to wake the dead, then. (Please understand that it took a 6.2 earthquake to wake his ass up, OK?) "Well, was I at least good?".

Hee hee heeeeeeeeeeeee.

So, further to my little nocturnal concert, I was thinking as I was driving today, -ok, when I wasn't singing-, "Hmm…. This is quite a mix of stuff, why not share the love?" And so I am. As if you give a damn. But Hey! It's my Haven, ie: I post, link, talk about, what I want, when I want. Nyah nyaaaah nyyyaaaaaaahhhhh! Every now and then when I'm surfing some of my favorite blogs, I notice that people mention what is their current playlist or what they are listening to lately and thought "why not?". I mean, I've picked up on some cool music that way!

So without further ado, the music that has me shaking my ass and other body parts, and singing my head off…. In the car, while watching a movie, listening to the radio, Italian & European Music TV (Love. It.), or, apparently, while sleeping…

Title / Artist

Keep This Fire Burning/ Beverly Knight
If There's Any Justice/ Lemar
Runaway / The Corrs
Breathless / " " (get the picture yet people?)
Best of The Corrs / The Corrs (ok, and the new CD too. Love THEM!)
*Signs / Snoop Dog featuring Justin Timberlake
*Femme Like You/ Kmaro
**I Just Wanna Live / Good Charlotte
Arms Wide Open / Creed
My Sacrifice/ Creed (Good Lord that singer is HOTT! )
*I Got It / Kevyn Lyttle
**Somebody Told Me / The Killers (it’s SO early 80’s)
**Billy Idol's Greatest Hits/ DHOH! Billy Idol (rowrrr)
*1/2 Step / Ciara featuring Missy Elliott
Someday / Nickelback
Astronaut (CD) / DuranDuran-my fave tracks,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10..you get it Since U Been Gone / Kelly Clarkson (what? WHAT??!!!!)
Angels / Robbie Williams
No Regrets/ Robbie Williams (I love an underdog, you realize?)
*, ** Rag Doll / Aerosmith (Hell, I love me some Aerosmith too!)
Love Is Only A Feeling / The Darkness (I wonder if it hurts to hit notes like that?)
Dové L'amore / Cher (I love me some Cher like a drag queen does)
Shania Twain's Greatest Hits / Shania Twain (Yeah, I like select country music too!)
Songs About Jane (CD) / Maroon 5. All. Of . It. Y’all.


General listening from the top of my head, and I realize probably like you really give a damn…

Luna (the CD) / Allesandro Safina (Yes, Opera. SHUT. UP. DAMMIT)
Somethin Stupid / Nicole Kidman & Robbie Williams
I Will Love You / Nicole Kidman (again) & Ewan MacGregor(,drool-EWAN)
Braveheart Soundtrack/ Various
Anything sung by……/ ENYA
Marc Anthony (aka. Mr. Jennifer Lopez. waaaaahhhaa)
Ricky Martin (he makes me shake my bon bon. heh.)
Pretty much anything with a bagpipe
You name it… / Beethoven
You name it… / Tchaikovsky
Whatever show tune enters my mind……
Duran Duran / Anything sukahs! They are MY GUYS!!!!!



* Means shaking my booty, and getting DOWN, y'all! A real "ass shaker"!
** Rocking out

This is by no means a complete list. Not by a LONGSHOT. I love latin music too. Don’t even get me started. Nuh-uh. There is actually more country music too, but it’s particular songs I like as opposed to artists.

What I listen to all depends on my mood, or what I’m feeling. You might catch me listening to a double CD of Adam Ant one day, Classical the other, and Aerosmith the next.

Feel free to tell me some of your favorites. Do we share any? I’m sure I’ve forgotten to mention hundreds.

SPILL!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pretty please?)