Oh What The Hell!???

Hello. Is this thing on??? *taps screen* Can't seem to get my posts to display on my blog lately. Hell if I know why.

I, my dears, feel like absolute shit right now.

My day was ok until my daughter asked me at lunch (in a restaurant) "Mom, what is a hooker?" After I picked up my dropped jaw from the tabletop, I replied "well...... um, a hooker is a woman who expects and gets money from a man in return for affection, to put it simply."

How'd I do y'all?? Well, it shut HER up, at least.

so far, so good.

Mama 1, Arianna 0

Then came Z a little while later interjecting a very odd question into the silence at the table. Curious? Who's curious?

He asked Ari, "So, do you think Mom and Dad still love each other and will stay together or do you think that they will separate like sometimes happens to families and maybe some of your friends parents too, when the parents change and don't feel the same way and don't love each other the same anymore? You know, like your Aunties (his sisters) and uncles. Your uncles aren't bad people, they and your aunties just didn't feel the same way anymore as they initally did, is all." (these divorces he is referring to happened six and ten years ago respectively.)

I don't know who was more shocked, me or Ari. We stared at him, then each other, then....

Well, it was a weird-ass question, I tell you.

She just stared at him with big eyes and said "what brought that on?" and I just looked down at my plate. He just shrugged and said "I dunno, answer me."

Dad 2 billion, Mama 1 and confused and feeling slightly nauseous, Ari ......confused.

He sort of dropped it, sort of. But then, later tonight, Ari was freaking out on me, and when I asked her what was wrong, she wailed (and she is not a wailer) "I don't want to be an only child! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Great. Now I feel like shit. A useless, reproductively-challenged, confused woman. The worst thing is that I'm letting her down, not just myself.

I just found myself apologizing to her, and we both ended up crying. God knows I've tried so hard for another child. God knows I want another one. FOR ME. For her, and to hell with everyone else. To fail in this most simplest of things for most women is so damn frustrating.

Ugh. Somebody get me an Amaretto drip, STAT!!

Geee, and how was YOUR day?