Um, a clarification
I realize thanks to a good friend, that my "Date with a Wand Monkey" post could have a double meaning. Apparently the first paragraph was all full of double-entendre's, so please allow me to clarify, hmmmm?
Ahem.
A wand monkey is a (derogatory) nickname for the person that gives you an ultrasound. Particularly the vaginal kind, but it also goes for rectal too. For the men out there, I've heard a rumor that there is also one they do by inserting one up the penis. Sounds like a blast, no? (Ok, I suppose not)But, hey! Turnabout is fair play, although it DOES sound painful.
Anyhow, I hope this clears up the fact that I had a date with an ULTRASOUND MACHINE and NOT a vibrator.
Any questions?
5/13/2004
5/12/2004
I'm a patient of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr.Hyde, it seems
Well damn me if I didn't come out of my wand monkey date all upside down? ( and SO not in a good way!)
First off. I ended up NOT having an ultrasound. He changed his mind and didn't want to do one. Fine. No dildo cam for me this time. Okeedokee.
Apparently my hormones are good enough (well, for me) to go ahead with this cycle. Good. Good.
My Prolactin is damn high, but that can be taken care of with 2 pills. No prob.
Generally speaking, it takes quite a lot to get me confused and discombobulated... im a pretty smart woman.... but HE managed to do it. Now get a load of this.
He changed his damn mind...... again. Remember I said he was going to give me Puregon this time around? Nuh-uh. Changed his DAMN MIND.... AGAIN. Then I made the mistake of asking "Why is that?" Mistake. He got all huffy. THEN he started doing math calculations (big damn mistake on HIS part-he KNOWS I HATE THIS- cause math IS GUARANTEED to make me zone out and get confused...Guaranteed!- he might as well have started speaking Sanscrit or Armaic like in the Passion of Christ) At least the movie had subtitles when you are lost and confused.Sigh. I threw HIS OWN DAMN ARGUEMENT FOR THE PUREGON BACK AT HIM WORD-FOR-WORD. He said "not necessarily".(bastard)*Cyn sitting with gaping mouth starting at him in complete shock, sputtering* "But, but.... but... you said..... and then you said... but.... huh????" and THEN he ROLLED HIS EYES.(sonofabitch)His last word on the meds..... cumon.... GUESS! He said.........
"Fine. Use whatever medicine you want.. they are both rFSH... just make up your mind and let me know so I can write the prescription." (Well F-you too!)
Wait, it gets better (if you can imagine that!)THEN he ASKED me... (with my 3 previous charts in front of him)
Doc: "What Down reg protocol have you done?"
ME: (WTF?????)"1st cycle w/ Puregon... None. 2nd cycle..gonal F,,, short protocol from day 1 of cycle till HCG trigger, 3rd time (last time) Gonal F, Long protocol starting 15 days before Af show up to HCG triger on cycle day 20."
Doc: "So, what do you want to do this time? Long protcol again?"
ME: "It's up to me??Isn't it a little LATE in my cycle for that now?" (dufus)
Doc: "Oh yeah, it is, huh?"
Me: silent
Doc: "Well......."
ME: "You said there was an injection that I only need IF my LH starts moving in the wrong direction.....
Doc: "Oh no, I can do this one.... yeah, that will be good... hmmmmmmmm"
ME: "WHAT!? DO WHAT?"
DOC: "Oh, its an injection from day 8 or so every day in addition to the stim."
ME: (tired and dizzy) "OK, fine. Thats good."(never mind that each one is an additional 80 bucks- whatever.)
He wore me out. I tell you. Makes me wonder what he will do when the cycle actually starts!
Well damn me if I didn't come out of my wand monkey date all upside down? ( and SO not in a good way!)
First off. I ended up NOT having an ultrasound. He changed his mind and didn't want to do one. Fine. No dildo cam for me this time. Okeedokee.
Apparently my hormones are good enough (well, for me) to go ahead with this cycle. Good. Good.
My Prolactin is damn high, but that can be taken care of with 2 pills. No prob.
Generally speaking, it takes quite a lot to get me confused and discombobulated... im a pretty smart woman.... but HE managed to do it. Now get a load of this.
He changed his damn mind...... again. Remember I said he was going to give me Puregon this time around? Nuh-uh. Changed his DAMN MIND.... AGAIN. Then I made the mistake of asking "Why is that?" Mistake. He got all huffy. THEN he started doing math calculations (big damn mistake on HIS part-he KNOWS I HATE THIS- cause math IS GUARANTEED to make me zone out and get confused...Guaranteed!- he might as well have started speaking Sanscrit or Armaic like in the Passion of Christ) At least the movie had subtitles when you are lost and confused.Sigh. I threw HIS OWN DAMN ARGUEMENT FOR THE PUREGON BACK AT HIM WORD-FOR-WORD. He said "not necessarily".(bastard)*Cyn sitting with gaping mouth starting at him in complete shock, sputtering* "But, but.... but... you said..... and then you said... but.... huh????" and THEN he ROLLED HIS EYES.(sonofabitch)His last word on the meds..... cumon.... GUESS! He said.........
"Fine. Use whatever medicine you want.. they are both rFSH... just make up your mind and let me know so I can write the prescription." (Well F-you too!)
Wait, it gets better (if you can imagine that!)THEN he ASKED me... (with my 3 previous charts in front of him)
Doc: "What Down reg protocol have you done?"
ME: (WTF?????)"1st cycle w/ Puregon... None. 2nd cycle..gonal F,,, short protocol from day 1 of cycle till HCG trigger, 3rd time (last time) Gonal F, Long protocol starting 15 days before Af show up to HCG triger on cycle day 20."
Doc: "So, what do you want to do this time? Long protcol again?"
ME: "It's up to me??Isn't it a little LATE in my cycle for that now?" (dufus)
Doc: "Oh yeah, it is, huh?"
Me: silent
Doc: "Well......."
ME: "You said there was an injection that I only need IF my LH starts moving in the wrong direction.....
Doc: "Oh no, I can do this one.... yeah, that will be good... hmmmmmmmm"
ME: "WHAT!? DO WHAT?"
DOC: "Oh, its an injection from day 8 or so every day in addition to the stim."
ME: (tired and dizzy) "OK, fine. Thats good."(never mind that each one is an additional 80 bucks- whatever.)
He wore me out. I tell you. Makes me wonder what he will do when the cycle actually starts!
5/11/2004
Date With A Wand Monkey
Yup. You read right! I've got a date today with a wand monkey at 4:30. He has new equipment, so at least there will be something interesting for me to investigate this visit.
I started off my morning at 7am - fuuuuuck(!)- getting a blood draw. Well hello Mary Fucking Sunshine. NOT! That woke me the hell up, but fast. looks like I'm going to have a beautiful bruise the size of a big ole plum on the inside of my right elbow. Well shit.shit. shit!
3 pills of Progluyton to go... (yes, I miss counted the other night.)Countdown is about to begin for AF. I am extremely curious about my appt with the Wand Monkey today.
I'll keep y'all posted!
Yup. You read right! I've got a date today with a wand monkey at 4:30. He has new equipment, so at least there will be something interesting for me to investigate this visit.
I started off my morning at 7am - fuuuuuck(!)- getting a blood draw. Well hello Mary Fucking Sunshine. NOT! That woke me the hell up, but fast. looks like I'm going to have a beautiful bruise the size of a big ole plum on the inside of my right elbow. Well shit.shit. shit!
3 pills of Progluyton to go... (yes, I miss counted the other night.)Countdown is about to begin for AF. I am extremely curious about my appt with the Wand Monkey today.
I'll keep y'all posted!
Miss Scarlett's Dumb-Ass of the Week Award
Hello y'all! It's that time again! Yup. I found another dumbshit for your viewing pleasure. Read on my friends, read on.........
From today's paper (GDN): A Dubai court has jailed for one year a 26-year old eeast Indian man caought breaking into a house wearing only shoes and a backpack. Police saw the naked man, identified only as A.T., scaling a wall of a villa in an exclusive area back in October 2003. He was found to be carrying several stolen digital cameras which he used "to shoot pictures of nude women in compromising positions", as well as jewellery, mobile phones and cash. The burgular was found guilty of theft and breaking and entering and wil be deported after serviing his sentence.
WTF?? What about indecent exposure? What a dumb ass. Breaking in to a house butt nekkid cept for a backpack and shoes? Damn. He got beat with the stoopid stick one too many times, now didn't he?
Hello y'all! It's that time again! Yup. I found another dumbshit for your viewing pleasure. Read on my friends, read on.........
From today's paper (GDN): A Dubai court has jailed for one year a 26-year old eeast Indian man caought breaking into a house wearing only shoes and a backpack. Police saw the naked man, identified only as A.T., scaling a wall of a villa in an exclusive area back in October 2003. He was found to be carrying several stolen digital cameras which he used "to shoot pictures of nude women in compromising positions", as well as jewellery, mobile phones and cash. The burgular was found guilty of theft and breaking and entering and wil be deported after serviing his sentence.
WTF?? What about indecent exposure? What a dumb ass. Breaking in to a house butt nekkid cept for a backpack and shoes? Damn. He got beat with the stoopid stick one too many times, now didn't he?
"A Little Smut Never Hurt Anybody"
Got an email with pictures from my Mom this morning. (I'll add a pic on here as soon as I figure out HOW TO!)
She's so cute. Really adorable. She's gorgeous too! Men just stop and stare at her, even with her pushing 60(I am SO dead for saying that). I'm not just saying that. She really is. She has taken good care of herself and looks much younger than she is, would look even more so if she didn't have such dammed health problems.
Z says she looks like a slightly older Sharon Stone (how Sharon looks now), and there is something about her that does, although I can't put my finger on it exactly. She has such a big heart, my Mama. Solid 24k!I'm not just saying that either. She does. Z's family that HATE ME, LOVE My Mama. So there(even when she called them all assholes to their faces for mistreating her baby-that would be ME!!)! I don't think I look much of anytthing like her. I look like my Dad's mother... my Nana.... right down to the bosom... exactly. Only difference is that I have bright clear green eyes and hers were swimming pool blue and her temper, from what I've heard, was worse than mine. Oh yeah, gotta love that Irish temper!
Anyway, Mama mentioned that she will send a care package for Arianna full of Summer goodies and clothes, etc.. and included are some of the novels I ordered and had sent to her address. Ok, they are historical romance novels for my Calgon moments when I just need to be mentally somewhere else for a while. Get off my ass. They make me happy.
Now. Ahem.
I love my Nana. Still do even though she passed away 9 years ago. She was my Dad's mother... (and didn't take no-ones shit, especially not HIS!), me not having ever known my maternal grandparents who passed way before I was born.
Anyway, Mama, who was always real close with Nana and said she was the best.. ABSOLUTE BEST mother in law ANYONE could EVER HAVE, mentioned that my Nana always used to read romances too...voraciously (aw... I LOVE my Nana. Miss her something fierce) Nana always used to say, apparently, "a little smut never did anyone any harm". Also when she would go to the movies with her friends and they would be having hissyfits about the sex and language she would say "Shut the hell up!! I can't hear anything!! A little smut isnt going to kill you!" Isn't that just the cutest? I can TOTALLY picture her face when she said it too. Quite expressive she was.
I just get a warm fuzzy feeling when I get little insights into my family like this. Especially things about my immediate family, since I can make sense out of things about myself.
Think I'll go and read a book. This one's for you Nana!
Got an email with pictures from my Mom this morning. (I'll add a pic on here as soon as I figure out HOW TO!)
She's so cute. Really adorable. She's gorgeous too! Men just stop and stare at her, even with her pushing 60(I am SO dead for saying that). I'm not just saying that. She really is. She has taken good care of herself and looks much younger than she is, would look even more so if she didn't have such dammed health problems.
Z says she looks like a slightly older Sharon Stone (how Sharon looks now), and there is something about her that does, although I can't put my finger on it exactly. She has such a big heart, my Mama. Solid 24k!I'm not just saying that either. She does. Z's family that HATE ME, LOVE My Mama. So there(even when she called them all assholes to their faces for mistreating her baby-that would be ME!!)! I don't think I look much of anytthing like her. I look like my Dad's mother... my Nana.... right down to the bosom... exactly. Only difference is that I have bright clear green eyes and hers were swimming pool blue and her temper, from what I've heard, was worse than mine. Oh yeah, gotta love that Irish temper!
Anyway, Mama mentioned that she will send a care package for Arianna full of Summer goodies and clothes, etc.. and included are some of the novels I ordered and had sent to her address. Ok, they are historical romance novels for my Calgon moments when I just need to be mentally somewhere else for a while. Get off my ass. They make me happy.
Now. Ahem.
I love my Nana. Still do even though she passed away 9 years ago. She was my Dad's mother... (and didn't take no-ones shit, especially not HIS!), me not having ever known my maternal grandparents who passed way before I was born.
Anyway, Mama, who was always real close with Nana and said she was the best.. ABSOLUTE BEST mother in law ANYONE could EVER HAVE, mentioned that my Nana always used to read romances too...voraciously (aw... I LOVE my Nana. Miss her something fierce) Nana always used to say, apparently, "a little smut never did anyone any harm". Also when she would go to the movies with her friends and they would be having hissyfits about the sex and language she would say "Shut the hell up!! I can't hear anything!! A little smut isnt going to kill you!" Isn't that just the cutest? I can TOTALLY picture her face when she said it too. Quite expressive she was.
I just get a warm fuzzy feeling when I get little insights into my family like this. Especially things about my immediate family, since I can make sense out of things about myself.
Think I'll go and read a book. This one's for you Nana!
5/10/2004
Dazed and Confused
Last night I was staring at my little blisterpac of Progluyton. (For those of you that don't know what that is, it's a little pill I have to take every day to keep my cycle regular. Kind of like a birth control pill, but NOT!)I've got 5 more pills left,including today's, then followed by 6-7 days of waiting for AF to show up. That's when the "fun" begins.
Heh. Heh. Uh-huh.
I am not as psychotically obsessed with this IVF cycle as with the previous three. At least so far I'm not.There is still a good week to go. I mean, next week should be a blast with my PMS well and truly kicking in, no?
But for right now... I am, well, kind of numb about it all. It strikes me as damn odd, but, I can't seem to get worked up about it. I'm numb in a way like when you are at the Dentist (one of my most hated places to be BTW) and they give you the blocking shots to have a really nasty cavity filled. You get numb, and can't feel much of anything, but are still distantly aware of the pressure of the drill,, well that and the horrid sound of it and the smell of the tooth being dug out.*gag,heave* Anyhoo, that's kind of how I feel.
Maybe I'm just, sub-conciously afraid to get all "into it" again. That as long as I don't get my hopes up, I won't get my heart broken as badly if/when it doesn't work. Maybe I'm hoping that I won't have to get so depressed when my daughter looks at me, all almost 10 years old, and says so sad looking "Mama, why can't you bring me a brother or...SISTER? I really want a sister. A little sister is what I really want!", looking at me because, for another month,yet again, I've let her down.
This really gets to me more than you can imagine. I remember feeling exactly the same way. Saying the exact same thing to my Mom. Almost daily, like a routine. My poor Mama. More than anything I wanted a little sister.Innocently I would harass her again and again, not knowing that my Dad forced her to have 2 abortions saying "I don't want any more kids!! I have 4 already!" (3 from his first wife, who are all 17 +yrs older than me and I barely knew them...their Mom was being nasty...so I only knew the middle one, Joey, cause he lived with us when I was a baby/toddler..he was more trouble than his mother could handle, so my mom took him on so he could be under the firm, hard-ass hand of Dad.)No matter that my Mom told him "but I just have one." No. It had to be Dad's way and no one could have it any other way than his. It wasn't that they couldn't afford another child. My parents were pretty well off. Not so-filthy-you-fart-money-rich, but a helluva lot more than comfortable. Dad just didn't want any more. My Mom has regretted this her whole life. I see how my mom suffers with me, her only child, all the way over on the other side of the world, along with her only grandchild. I still wish that I had a little sister, or brother somewhere on the planet, but I don't. I don't want to think of Arianna feeling like I have my whole life, so I suppose this IVF is as much for her as it is for me. I know I'm blessed to have her. But I am a stubborn little shit, and when I put my moind to something, I don't give up until it is 100% mine or 100% beyond hope of ever achieving.
Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to be positive and psych myself out for this upcoming attempt.... but, that fear is lurking. What is even more worrying.... maybe it's becoming some weird type of NORMAL to me.
Now THAT is some freaky shit right there, isn't it?
Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow.
Last night I was staring at my little blisterpac of Progluyton. (For those of you that don't know what that is, it's a little pill I have to take every day to keep my cycle regular. Kind of like a birth control pill, but NOT!)I've got 5 more pills left,including today's, then followed by 6-7 days of waiting for AF to show up. That's when the "fun" begins.
Heh. Heh. Uh-huh.
I am not as psychotically obsessed with this IVF cycle as with the previous three. At least so far I'm not.There is still a good week to go. I mean, next week should be a blast with my PMS well and truly kicking in, no?
But for right now... I am, well, kind of numb about it all. It strikes me as damn odd, but, I can't seem to get worked up about it. I'm numb in a way like when you are at the Dentist (one of my most hated places to be BTW) and they give you the blocking shots to have a really nasty cavity filled. You get numb, and can't feel much of anything, but are still distantly aware of the pressure of the drill,, well that and the horrid sound of it and the smell of the tooth being dug out.*gag,heave* Anyhoo, that's kind of how I feel.
Maybe I'm just, sub-conciously afraid to get all "into it" again. That as long as I don't get my hopes up, I won't get my heart broken as badly if/when it doesn't work. Maybe I'm hoping that I won't have to get so depressed when my daughter looks at me, all almost 10 years old, and says so sad looking "Mama, why can't you bring me a brother or...SISTER? I really want a sister. A little sister is what I really want!", looking at me because, for another month,yet again, I've let her down.
This really gets to me more than you can imagine. I remember feeling exactly the same way. Saying the exact same thing to my Mom. Almost daily, like a routine. My poor Mama. More than anything I wanted a little sister.Innocently I would harass her again and again, not knowing that my Dad forced her to have 2 abortions saying "I don't want any more kids!! I have 4 already!" (3 from his first wife, who are all 17 +yrs older than me and I barely knew them...their Mom was being nasty...so I only knew the middle one, Joey, cause he lived with us when I was a baby/toddler..he was more trouble than his mother could handle, so my mom took him on so he could be under the firm, hard-ass hand of Dad.)No matter that my Mom told him "but I just have one." No. It had to be Dad's way and no one could have it any other way than his. It wasn't that they couldn't afford another child. My parents were pretty well off. Not so-filthy-you-fart-money-rich, but a helluva lot more than comfortable. Dad just didn't want any more. My Mom has regretted this her whole life. I see how my mom suffers with me, her only child, all the way over on the other side of the world, along with her only grandchild. I still wish that I had a little sister, or brother somewhere on the planet, but I don't. I don't want to think of Arianna feeling like I have my whole life, so I suppose this IVF is as much for her as it is for me. I know I'm blessed to have her. But I am a stubborn little shit, and when I put my moind to something, I don't give up until it is 100% mine or 100% beyond hope of ever achieving.
Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to be positive and psych myself out for this upcoming attempt.... but, that fear is lurking. What is even more worrying.... maybe it's becoming some weird type of NORMAL to me.
Now THAT is some freaky shit right there, isn't it?
Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow.
5/09/2004
Why Me?
I've been better, definetly.
Hello all. Sorry I've been a bit quiet (well for me anyway!) lately. I've been sick as a dawg with what I'm pretty sure is the worst sinus infection I have EVER had in my life. Couldn't take it anymore and went to the ENT on Thursday, he said "WHOA! Thats some serious infection!BED REST and take all these meds!!" He didn't have much arguement from me, I tell you. As it was, I barely dragged myself to go see him. I figured my head was going to explode.
Then I thought: Hmmm, better get myself straightend out, cause AF should show up in about 11 days and then three days after that, I begin stims for IVF#4. And if I have an infection, Doc might just tell me to piss off till I'm better... and that would mean I have to wait another month. Sounds like fun, no? (not)
Just one small, teensy weensy probelm.........
I got a thrush infection of my throat/mouth from the stupid fucking antibiotics!!!! I knew this would happen, and I told him too. It isn't pretty and is awfully painful. True, it could have been worse....ie: (for the slow) it could have manifested someplace more SOUTH if you get my drift? So all in all, I guess I'm a lot better off than I could be, right?
As is, I'm wondering what my IVF Doc will say when he does an ultrasound for me either tomorrow or the next day. Ok, fine. I'm terrified. I've been in horrible pain (left ovary area, thank you for asking) off and on and I"m hoping that it is a cyst dissolving. I hope. I was in such pain at 4am yesterday hiding in the bathroom, that Z must have heard my whimpers of pain cause I saw a blur at the door (I tried to be quiet, I really did) looked at him through slitted eyes and saw the look of PURE TERROR on his face.
Then I watched him turn and run...... in the opposite directon. Chickenshit. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even bother to eek out a small curse, even silently. You know I'm bad if I can't toss out a curse. Maybe my half asleep brain was too busy cursing and ranting at my ovary to "calm the fuck down and cut that shit out" to function in any other way. That could be it.
Shit if I know.
I've been better, definetly.
Hello all. Sorry I've been a bit quiet (well for me anyway!) lately. I've been sick as a dawg with what I'm pretty sure is the worst sinus infection I have EVER had in my life. Couldn't take it anymore and went to the ENT on Thursday, he said "WHOA! Thats some serious infection!BED REST and take all these meds!!" He didn't have much arguement from me, I tell you. As it was, I barely dragged myself to go see him. I figured my head was going to explode.
Then I thought: Hmmm, better get myself straightend out, cause AF should show up in about 11 days and then three days after that, I begin stims for IVF#4. And if I have an infection, Doc might just tell me to piss off till I'm better... and that would mean I have to wait another month. Sounds like fun, no? (not)
Just one small, teensy weensy probelm.........
I got a thrush infection of my throat/mouth from the stupid fucking antibiotics!!!! I knew this would happen, and I told him too. It isn't pretty and is awfully painful. True, it could have been worse....ie: (for the slow) it could have manifested someplace more SOUTH if you get my drift? So all in all, I guess I'm a lot better off than I could be, right?
As is, I'm wondering what my IVF Doc will say when he does an ultrasound for me either tomorrow or the next day. Ok, fine. I'm terrified. I've been in horrible pain (left ovary area, thank you for asking) off and on and I"m hoping that it is a cyst dissolving. I hope. I was in such pain at 4am yesterday hiding in the bathroom, that Z must have heard my whimpers of pain cause I saw a blur at the door (I tried to be quiet, I really did) looked at him through slitted eyes and saw the look of PURE TERROR on his face.
Then I watched him turn and run...... in the opposite directon. Chickenshit. I was in so much pain, I couldn't even bother to eek out a small curse, even silently. You know I'm bad if I can't toss out a curse. Maybe my half asleep brain was too busy cursing and ranting at my ovary to "calm the fuck down and cut that shit out" to function in any other way. That could be it.
Shit if I know.
5/05/2004
I am NOT oversensitive!!
For those of you that really know me (cheryl.b, Mindy, etc.) you will know this is not the first time for me to say this.
But I'm really not. I have a pet peeve. I mean, this is GUARANTEED to PISS me off like no tomorrow. I go APESHIT when I'm having a phone conversation with someone and they are talking- I mean a conversation- with someone else while you are on the phone. Noow, I'm totally understanding if we are talking and you have to say "just a minute" to me, say to the other person "yes, that's fine, and then blah blah" then come back to me and say "ok, you were saying??" and continue OUR conversation. Not say "hold on" (if I'm lucky) and then hang on the fucking phone for 10 minutes (cause I'll wait just to see how long you'll let me hang so Im totally justified in being pissed) while I listen to you have a conversation with someone where you are. Now if it is work and important... I am understanding of that. BUT if it ISN"T work........ now you deserve all my venom.
Z, my dear husband, the man I've been involved with for 15 years.... since I had barely turned 18...(hint. schmuck should really know better by now!) did this to me last night. On the phone. (refer back to my "home alone" post please if you didn't already read it.) It was 8:30pm last night and I still hadn't heard from him alllll day, so I tried calling his cell. No answer. I call back in 5-10 min.... no answer. I call back in 5..... no answer.... I call back again in 5... and no answer.... I do this shit for maybe, OH, 40 minutes. I send a message on the phone somewhere in between all the calls. Nuthin.... for about an hour or so. I get a message close to 11pm saying, "I just got out of the movies and left my phone in my brother's friends car". (brother is there doing some work.. he's a makeup artist)
Ok, fine, you went out with your brother and his friends to the movies. It's 11:oo at night, and maybe I'm a little lonely. Maybe I missed him, (but I would never call when he is at these conferences) and maybe I'm a bit hurt that he didn't call to just say "Hello, I'm going out with XXX for dinner and wanted to say Hi real quick, I'll call you later/tomorrow".or "what a shit day, conference was BORING/great, whatever, hows our daughter?, miss you, etc.." gee, I don't know.. something. I kinda wanted to hear his voice maybe was all. I'm feeling rotten all day yesterday, like I'm coming down with somehting. low grade fever..just enough to give mild body aches and feel like hell. My head feels as if it is the size of the Good-year Blimp. My sinuses are so screwed that under my left eye is twitching almost incessantly and my voice sounds like shit cause I'm so congested.
So, basically, I was feeling kinda bad to begin with. So I call him. Long distance. and what do I get? "Oh hello. Just got out of movies. We saw Hidalgo"(never mind you promised to take Arianna to see it you dufus). Me" Oh was it nice?" "Yeah. so...". then: talking in background to others in the car..... for a long time..............*steam coming out of my ears*, finally, he comes back on and says "call me back in 20 minutes". HELLO? IT IS almost effing midnight! I say "um, uh-huh,bye".
I didn't call back. Would you?
For those of you that really know me (cheryl.b, Mindy, etc.) you will know this is not the first time for me to say this.
But I'm really not. I have a pet peeve. I mean, this is GUARANTEED to PISS me off like no tomorrow. I go APESHIT when I'm having a phone conversation with someone and they are talking- I mean a conversation- with someone else while you are on the phone. Noow, I'm totally understanding if we are talking and you have to say "just a minute" to me, say to the other person "yes, that's fine, and then blah blah" then come back to me and say "ok, you were saying??" and continue OUR conversation. Not say "hold on" (if I'm lucky) and then hang on the fucking phone for 10 minutes (cause I'll wait just to see how long you'll let me hang so Im totally justified in being pissed) while I listen to you have a conversation with someone where you are. Now if it is work and important... I am understanding of that. BUT if it ISN"T work........ now you deserve all my venom.
Z, my dear husband, the man I've been involved with for 15 years.... since I had barely turned 18...(hint. schmuck should really know better by now!) did this to me last night. On the phone. (refer back to my "home alone" post please if you didn't already read it.) It was 8:30pm last night and I still hadn't heard from him alllll day, so I tried calling his cell. No answer. I call back in 5-10 min.... no answer. I call back in 5..... no answer.... I call back again in 5... and no answer.... I do this shit for maybe, OH, 40 minutes. I send a message on the phone somewhere in between all the calls. Nuthin.... for about an hour or so. I get a message close to 11pm saying, "I just got out of the movies and left my phone in my brother's friends car". (brother is there doing some work.. he's a makeup artist)
Ok, fine, you went out with your brother and his friends to the movies. It's 11:oo at night, and maybe I'm a little lonely. Maybe I missed him, (but I would never call when he is at these conferences) and maybe I'm a bit hurt that he didn't call to just say "Hello, I'm going out with XXX for dinner and wanted to say Hi real quick, I'll call you later/tomorrow".or "what a shit day, conference was BORING/great, whatever, hows our daughter?, miss you, etc.." gee, I don't know.. something. I kinda wanted to hear his voice maybe was all. I'm feeling rotten all day yesterday, like I'm coming down with somehting. low grade fever..just enough to give mild body aches and feel like hell. My head feels as if it is the size of the Good-year Blimp. My sinuses are so screwed that under my left eye is twitching almost incessantly and my voice sounds like shit cause I'm so congested.
So, basically, I was feeling kinda bad to begin with. So I call him. Long distance. and what do I get? "Oh hello. Just got out of movies. We saw Hidalgo"(never mind you promised to take Arianna to see it you dufus). Me" Oh was it nice?" "Yeah. so...". then: talking in background to others in the car..... for a long time..............*steam coming out of my ears*, finally, he comes back on and says "call me back in 20 minutes". HELLO? IT IS almost effing midnight! I say "um, uh-huh,bye".
I didn't call back. Would you?
Wand Monkeys
I was visiting my buddy getupgrrl's site, Chez Miscarriage, just now, and read of the verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of the bitch radiologist that was going to do her ultrasound yesterday. This resulted in many of the wonderful women that were viewing the site to recount their own stories and it got me to thinking............
Where the fuck do these people that are supposed to be providing medical care get off??? Maybe it's that they DON'T "get off" and that's the problem.
Now, my doctor does his own ultrasounds, and has all these specialist degrees and all to do it, so it's something he's "in to". Problem is, he's a little TOO good..... it's kinda a case of "wham-bam-thank-you-mam!" if ya get my drift?? And he can be a little....un-gentle.(I know it's not a real word, but its appropriate) And when your ovaries are stimmed up the yin-yang, pelvis and everything IN it is painful...... the last thing you want is Dr.Wand Monkey shoving the probe up your Hoo-ha and checking out your ovaries like he's shifting his goddamn dream Ferrari! Dr w/probe......Me: whimpering in pain...."it's really tender, it hurts, can you go a little easy????PLEASE??" Doc:"um, humm, ok"..... still down shifting in my hoo-hah...... I reach over and grab his .... thigh, arm, whatever I can reach... and squeeze........HARD until he gets the picture. He can be an insensitive dolt sometimes, but generally is a sweet person who usually kisses my forehead or top of my head (OK, he's 6'5 and I'm 5'8) when he sees me or gives me a big bear hug when I'm feeling rotten. He isn't the Best doc for ultrasounds i've ever had tho... cause he DOESN"T like my questions during the ultrasound... he wants to hurry up and I want to see inside my body what's going on.
Here I am getting pumped with big-ass-doses of rFSH daily, among other things, and Im trying to get pregnant.... the very least you could do is SHOW me the follicles clearly. Jeesh.
I mean I don't know about y'all, but I think it's really interesting to see inside you. In school we've seen films in science and photos in books, but to see it and not in an impersonal way.... it's YOU up on that screen. That's why I like to look at my embryo(s) before I do the transfer......... cause that is part of me, and part of Z and if it sticks.... it amazes me that in 4 weeks from right now that I'm looking at this mass of cells, that it will have become a little fetus with a heart and blood pumping.Those cells could one day call me mama.
And wouldn't that be lovely?
I was visiting my buddy getupgrrl's site, Chez Miscarriage, just now, and read of the verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of the bitch radiologist that was going to do her ultrasound yesterday. This resulted in many of the wonderful women that were viewing the site to recount their own stories and it got me to thinking............
Where the fuck do these people that are supposed to be providing medical care get off??? Maybe it's that they DON'T "get off" and that's the problem.
Now, my doctor does his own ultrasounds, and has all these specialist degrees and all to do it, so it's something he's "in to". Problem is, he's a little TOO good..... it's kinda a case of "wham-bam-thank-you-mam!" if ya get my drift?? And he can be a little....un-gentle.(I know it's not a real word, but its appropriate) And when your ovaries are stimmed up the yin-yang, pelvis and everything IN it is painful...... the last thing you want is Dr.Wand Monkey shoving the probe up your Hoo-ha and checking out your ovaries like he's shifting his goddamn dream Ferrari! Dr w/probe......Me: whimpering in pain...."it's really tender, it hurts, can you go a little easy????PLEASE??" Doc:"um, humm, ok"..... still down shifting in my hoo-hah...... I reach over and grab his .... thigh, arm, whatever I can reach... and squeeze........HARD until he gets the picture. He can be an insensitive dolt sometimes, but generally is a sweet person who usually kisses my forehead or top of my head (OK, he's 6'5 and I'm 5'8) when he sees me or gives me a big bear hug when I'm feeling rotten. He isn't the Best doc for ultrasounds i've ever had tho... cause he DOESN"T like my questions during the ultrasound... he wants to hurry up and I want to see inside my body what's going on.
Here I am getting pumped with big-ass-doses of rFSH daily, among other things, and Im trying to get pregnant.... the very least you could do is SHOW me the follicles clearly. Jeesh.
I mean I don't know about y'all, but I think it's really interesting to see inside you. In school we've seen films in science and photos in books, but to see it and not in an impersonal way.... it's YOU up on that screen. That's why I like to look at my embryo(s) before I do the transfer......... cause that is part of me, and part of Z and if it sticks.... it amazes me that in 4 weeks from right now that I'm looking at this mass of cells, that it will have become a little fetus with a heart and blood pumping.Those cells could one day call me mama.
And wouldn't that be lovely?
5/04/2004
Stanky Drawers
Today, I innocently opened one of my favorite websites...CNN for a look at the world around me and look what I saw: Photos, underwear seized in Jackson case. Items were taken in March from pop singer's wardrobe Ewwwwwwwwwww.
"the items taken by police included what Mr. V called a "pair of soiled, white Calvin Klein size 28 underpants, that had belonged to MJ." (MJ = Wacko Jacko) The article went on to say.....
"the collection of Jackson family memorabilia -- which he claimed was the largest in the world -- to a European collector. .......The collection included costumes, gold records, photographs, letters and documents.......the Jackson family had been collecting the memorabilia for years to decorate a chain of Jackson-themed restaurants, a venture that never materialized."
Now wait a cotton-pickin minute here y'all! First off, taking MJ's nasty stank drawers for evidence??? (Oooh, Monica L. deja vu going on BIG-TIME!) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. But then I noticed WHERE the investigators OBTAINED these undies from.
A collection. A collection of various family items that had been sold to a European collector. Memorobillia collected by the Jackson family had been collecting the memorabilia for years to decorate a chain of Jackson-themed restaurants, a venture that never materialized.
You mean to tell me they planned to do a Hard Rock Cafe dealie bob and, among other things, put MICHAEL'S DIRTY CALVIN's on DISPLAY?????? W.T.F.??????? That is beyond disgusting.
Can you just imagine? "Hi, I'd like the "Mama Jacksons Fried Chicken with greens, black-eyed peas and cornbread please.(My my, I'm awfully hungry now!) And would you lookie that, MJ's dirty undies that were sitting in a box in a collectors wharehouse for Lord knows HOW LONG; framed right here on the wall at the end of our booth!Is that a skid mark?"
Why not the glove? The penny loafers? The shades? Bubbles the Chimp?Dammmmmmnnnnn. ".......Miss Jackson (and the rest) if your're nasty" is right!
And the restaurant vision never materialized.......... there IS a God.
Today, I innocently opened one of my favorite websites...CNN for a look at the world around me and look what I saw: Photos, underwear seized in Jackson case. Items were taken in March from pop singer's wardrobe Ewwwwwwwwwww.
"the items taken by police included what Mr. V called a "pair of soiled, white Calvin Klein size 28 underpants, that had belonged to MJ." (MJ = Wacko Jacko) The article went on to say.....
"the collection of Jackson family memorabilia -- which he claimed was the largest in the world -- to a European collector. .......The collection included costumes, gold records, photographs, letters and documents.......the Jackson family had been collecting the memorabilia for years to decorate a chain of Jackson-themed restaurants, a venture that never materialized."
Now wait a cotton-pickin minute here y'all! First off, taking MJ's nasty stank drawers for evidence??? (Oooh, Monica L. deja vu going on BIG-TIME!) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. But then I noticed WHERE the investigators OBTAINED these undies from.
A collection. A collection of various family items that had been sold to a European collector. Memorobillia collected by the Jackson family had been collecting the memorabilia for years to decorate a chain of Jackson-themed restaurants, a venture that never materialized.
You mean to tell me they planned to do a Hard Rock Cafe dealie bob and, among other things, put MICHAEL'S DIRTY CALVIN's on DISPLAY?????? W.T.F.??????? That is beyond disgusting.
Can you just imagine? "Hi, I'd like the "Mama Jacksons Fried Chicken with greens, black-eyed peas and cornbread please.(My my, I'm awfully hungry now!) And would you lookie that, MJ's dirty undies that were sitting in a box in a collectors wharehouse for Lord knows HOW LONG; framed right here on the wall at the end of our booth!Is that a skid mark?"
Why not the glove? The penny loafers? The shades? Bubbles the Chimp?Dammmmmmnnnnn. ".......Miss Jackson (and the rest) if your're nasty" is right!
And the restaurant vision never materialized.......... there IS a God.
Home Alone.......sorta
Actually, I'm in a "reverse Mindy"(MommyBlog) right now. She left husband and kids home and went on a business trip. This morning at an OBSCENE time, I dropped Z off at the airport.
I'm left home with a) Arianna, and b)his mom (aka devil-woman-sent-to-drive-me-insane-and-preferably-to-her- for me to die ASAP, aka: Monster-in-law, monster for short) Got the picture? Good. I'll get back to her wacked ass in a moment. Promise. No, really, I will. I'm beginning to channel Mackaulay Culkin right about now.... and boy am I gonna need it! "AARRRRRUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!""""""""""""""""
I stayed up obscenely late last night to pack Z's suitcase for his business trip TODAY since apparently he BROKE HIS DAMN HANDS AGAIN and couldn't manage to pack for himself.(as usual, bless his heart) I usually pack just about everything excecpt:1) his shoes (cause shoes are a very personal thing... you know? I can pack his undies, no problem, but shoes??? Uh, no.) 2) toothbrush, 3)deoderant 4) Razor & shaving cream, 5) socks...again that's a personal thing. Q-tips: I pack, shampoo: I pack. nail clippers: I pack. Shoe polish sponge: I pack. Clothes, undies, casual clothes... I PACK EM, GOT IT Kimosabbee??? Good. He ALWAYS inadvertenly forgets to, at the last minute, toss ONE of those 5 things in the suitcase that I DON"T pack. I always tell him "don't forget to put in x,y,z.... cause I haven't packed them;and I say this at elast 5 times looking him straight in the eye. I even pack his favorite snacks so he doesn't have to raid the overpriced minibar with its stale stuff. Aren't I nice? You bet your ass!
Now before you (men probably..yes Genuine, YOU!) mention it, yes, I have fixed up some lovely travel kits for him in the past. WHICH HE HAS LOST. Every single one of them. And, quite frankly, I will not make any more. no. no. no. I did that "good little wife" thing. It went unappreciated and typically left in the damn hotel. So basically, whatever he forgets, he's got to go run out and buy. Last night/this morning I said, "put in socks and casual shoes/sandals(look, its 100 degrees even at night..... )". So, yes, he put in his items 2, 3, and 4. I'm not sure about #5 even as I sit here. On the WAY TO THE AIRPORT Z says... "damn, I forgot to pack casual shoes." and guess what? It's really too late to turn around now. So here I sit at work, (aint I a stinker y'all??)trying with little effort to envision him wearing his comfy Diesel long shorts, tee, and........... DRESS SHOES!!! Bawahhahahahahaha!!*snort, gwaffaw* That'll teach him. One can always hope.
Back to Monster. I'm terrified of what she will come up with in the next few days. She has nothing but time on her hands to think up stuff. And she does, believe me.
See, Z has been going on this business trip every May for the past 6 years. I don't really think she can top the FUCKING WAR she started the very first year (before he even had boarded the plane to leave! now THAT is a talent for EVIL!), but damn me if she doesn't consistently give it her best shot. When he isn't home, she feels free to scream at me and throw crap, slam doors, scream more, cuss me out at full voice. For sitting in my room. For watching tv in the living room. For opening the curtains in MY HOUSE. For going out (to avoid her as long as possible). for .....breathng...... for just...existing. When Z isn't around, she kicks the cats. They all HATE her now and flinch when they hear her voice. She doesn't do it in front of me....not anymore. Cause once she went after one of them with a snorkel and smacked her (I think it was ISIS) for trying to go in her room and I ran across the hose, snatched the snorkel from her got right in her face and said "hit any of my cats with this again and it will be you who gets it next!" I don't hold with animal abuse, cause they are innocent beings who can't speak and defend themselves properly against us. (I'm talking domestic animals here!) Wish I had a pet Grizzly. I taka a lot of abuse from her daily, but that kind of thing just burns my ass, and I can't keep quiet. Anyway, I told Z about it later, and when he mentioned it to her, she flat out lied! Said "I didn't do it!" Me, Arianna, and my Mom who was visiting all stared at her with gaping mouths, cause we ALL saw her do it. You could hear the thump of it hitting Isis' little body. Well shit. I'm curious as to what she will do THIS time. Curious AND terrified all at once. Cause she's the best at being evil I've ever seen. EVER.
It isn't just me, it's Arianna too. She was moaning: "Oh no, Dad's leaving........... she's gonna start again". Cause she gets her fair share also, my poor girl. When I'm not around to see, but I get the reports.
I'm cranky and hormonal these days....... she'd better not mess with me.
Actually, I'm in a "reverse Mindy"(MommyBlog) right now. She left husband and kids home and went on a business trip. This morning at an OBSCENE time, I dropped Z off at the airport.
I'm left home with a) Arianna, and b)his mom (aka devil-woman-sent-to-drive-me-insane-and-preferably-to-her- for me to die ASAP, aka: Monster-in-law, monster for short) Got the picture? Good. I'll get back to her wacked ass in a moment. Promise. No, really, I will. I'm beginning to channel Mackaulay Culkin right about now.... and boy am I gonna need it! "AARRRRRUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!""""""""""""""""
I stayed up obscenely late last night to pack Z's suitcase for his business trip TODAY since apparently he BROKE HIS DAMN HANDS AGAIN and couldn't manage to pack for himself.(as usual, bless his heart) I usually pack just about everything excecpt:1) his shoes (cause shoes are a very personal thing... you know? I can pack his undies, no problem, but shoes??? Uh, no.) 2) toothbrush, 3)deoderant 4) Razor & shaving cream, 5) socks...again that's a personal thing. Q-tips: I pack, shampoo: I pack. nail clippers: I pack. Shoe polish sponge: I pack. Clothes, undies, casual clothes... I PACK EM, GOT IT Kimosabbee??? Good. He ALWAYS inadvertenly forgets to, at the last minute, toss ONE of those 5 things in the suitcase that I DON"T pack. I always tell him "don't forget to put in x,y,z.... cause I haven't packed them;and I say this at elast 5 times looking him straight in the eye. I even pack his favorite snacks so he doesn't have to raid the overpriced minibar with its stale stuff. Aren't I nice? You bet your ass!
Now before you (men probably..yes Genuine, YOU!) mention it, yes, I have fixed up some lovely travel kits for him in the past. WHICH HE HAS LOST. Every single one of them. And, quite frankly, I will not make any more. no. no. no. I did that "good little wife" thing. It went unappreciated and typically left in the damn hotel. So basically, whatever he forgets, he's got to go run out and buy. Last night/this morning I said, "put in socks and casual shoes/sandals(look, its 100 degrees even at night..... )". So, yes, he put in his items 2, 3, and 4. I'm not sure about #5 even as I sit here. On the WAY TO THE AIRPORT Z says... "damn, I forgot to pack casual shoes." and guess what? It's really too late to turn around now. So here I sit at work, (aint I a stinker y'all??)trying with little effort to envision him wearing his comfy Diesel long shorts, tee, and........... DRESS SHOES!!! Bawahhahahahahaha!!*snort, gwaffaw* That'll teach him. One can always hope.
Back to Monster. I'm terrified of what she will come up with in the next few days. She has nothing but time on her hands to think up stuff. And she does, believe me.
See, Z has been going on this business trip every May for the past 6 years. I don't really think she can top the FUCKING WAR she started the very first year (before he even had boarded the plane to leave! now THAT is a talent for EVIL!), but damn me if she doesn't consistently give it her best shot. When he isn't home, she feels free to scream at me and throw crap, slam doors, scream more, cuss me out at full voice. For sitting in my room. For watching tv in the living room. For opening the curtains in MY HOUSE. For going out (to avoid her as long as possible). for .....breathng...... for just...existing. When Z isn't around, she kicks the cats. They all HATE her now and flinch when they hear her voice. She doesn't do it in front of me....not anymore. Cause once she went after one of them with a snorkel and smacked her (I think it was ISIS) for trying to go in her room and I ran across the hose, snatched the snorkel from her got right in her face and said "hit any of my cats with this again and it will be you who gets it next!" I don't hold with animal abuse, cause they are innocent beings who can't speak and defend themselves properly against us. (I'm talking domestic animals here!) Wish I had a pet Grizzly. I taka a lot of abuse from her daily, but that kind of thing just burns my ass, and I can't keep quiet. Anyway, I told Z about it later, and when he mentioned it to her, she flat out lied! Said "I didn't do it!" Me, Arianna, and my Mom who was visiting all stared at her with gaping mouths, cause we ALL saw her do it. You could hear the thump of it hitting Isis' little body. Well shit. I'm curious as to what she will do THIS time. Curious AND terrified all at once. Cause she's the best at being evil I've ever seen. EVER.
It isn't just me, it's Arianna too. She was moaning: "Oh no, Dad's leaving........... she's gonna start again". Cause she gets her fair share also, my poor girl. When I'm not around to see, but I get the reports.
I'm cranky and hormonal these days....... she'd better not mess with me.
4/29/2004
Today's Hissyfit
Now this is more like it.
The "Holy shit I'm going to go through another cycle of IVF" is kicking in. I was kinda wondering when it would, ya know? Then the eternal "What if it doesn't work again?" and "Why the hell DIDN'T it work the last 3 times??" I'm trying to be positive, I truly am. But to be really honest, I'm not worried it won't work....... no. Uh-huh. I'm TERRIFIED out of my fucking mind.
Poor Z. He tries to be sooooooo optimistic. Well so do I. But. I KNOW he's it trying to keep my spirits up. He's a sweetie. But, I think it would work better if he wasn't giving me that pitiful look when he was doing it. It would also help if he didn't look like I told him to decapitate himself when he has to go pay for the IVF package.
I feel guilty. Cause the problem is me. I have to wonder exactly what the hell is going on inside me after these embryo transfers. I really do. I just can't understand why the hell it hasn't worked. So many of the ladies out there have much worse medical reasons for it not working, things they are up against, yet it works for them.
Me, I respond extremely well-I'm very sensitive to the meds at least-, I typically get about 30 follicles per stim cycle of injectibles. Usually about half are big enough on trigger day to give some hope. I don't necessarily get that many "viable" (I hate that damn word) eggs when they are all aspirated though. Beut HEY! something is better than nothing, right? They(it) fertilize. Great. The embryologist tells me, each time, that I have "excellent", "Perfect!" or "beautiful" embryos just waiting to be transferred on ET day. My uterus is absolutely fine. not tilted, bent, or whatever. It's fucking Fabulous. Transfer goes fine. I rest. I wait 1 week.... the 2 weeks..... I feel like absolute shit with severe OHSS pain during this time...and I wait..........then I find out that it was all for nothing. It didn't work. Again.
Why? I get the answer from my DOCTOR that he really, if he were THAT smart,would NEVER say to me.... I Don't Know. Well shit. shit. shit. Excuse me, but if he dosen't know, what the hell can I DO!? To give him credit, he looks just as stupefied as I do when I think about it. I mean, our expressions are identical. That's bad. I put my trust in him, give all the money I can scrape together....... and HE DOSN'T KNOW??? He tells me that "It should have worked." *Buzzer sounds* WRONG ANSWER! I could get violent.
Being surrounded by pregnant people or people that have just given birth doesn't help much. Especially when they are nagging. Especailly the one pregnant with triplets. HELLO! You have a maid AND a nanny and are getting ready for the 2nd nanny to come soon. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I would KILL to be in such a situation. Well, almost kill. You get the idea.
Cyn's having a bad day today......
Now this is more like it.
The "Holy shit I'm going to go through another cycle of IVF" is kicking in. I was kinda wondering when it would, ya know? Then the eternal "What if it doesn't work again?" and "Why the hell DIDN'T it work the last 3 times??" I'm trying to be positive, I truly am. But to be really honest, I'm not worried it won't work....... no. Uh-huh. I'm TERRIFIED out of my fucking mind.
Poor Z. He tries to be sooooooo optimistic. Well so do I. But. I KNOW he's it trying to keep my spirits up. He's a sweetie. But, I think it would work better if he wasn't giving me that pitiful look when he was doing it. It would also help if he didn't look like I told him to decapitate himself when he has to go pay for the IVF package.
I feel guilty. Cause the problem is me. I have to wonder exactly what the hell is going on inside me after these embryo transfers. I really do. I just can't understand why the hell it hasn't worked. So many of the ladies out there have much worse medical reasons for it not working, things they are up against, yet it works for them.
Me, I respond extremely well-I'm very sensitive to the meds at least-, I typically get about 30 follicles per stim cycle of injectibles. Usually about half are big enough on trigger day to give some hope. I don't necessarily get that many "viable" (I hate that damn word) eggs when they are all aspirated though. Beut HEY! something is better than nothing, right? They(it) fertilize. Great. The embryologist tells me, each time, that I have "excellent", "Perfect!" or "beautiful" embryos just waiting to be transferred on ET day. My uterus is absolutely fine. not tilted, bent, or whatever. It's fucking Fabulous. Transfer goes fine. I rest. I wait 1 week.... the 2 weeks..... I feel like absolute shit with severe OHSS pain during this time...and I wait..........then I find out that it was all for nothing. It didn't work. Again.
Why? I get the answer from my DOCTOR that he really, if he were THAT smart,would NEVER say to me.... I Don't Know. Well shit. shit. shit. Excuse me, but if he dosen't know, what the hell can I DO!? To give him credit, he looks just as stupefied as I do when I think about it. I mean, our expressions are identical. That's bad. I put my trust in him, give all the money I can scrape together....... and HE DOSN'T KNOW??? He tells me that "It should have worked." *Buzzer sounds* WRONG ANSWER! I could get violent.
Being surrounded by pregnant people or people that have just given birth doesn't help much. Especially when they are nagging. Especailly the one pregnant with triplets. HELLO! You have a maid AND a nanny and are getting ready for the 2nd nanny to come soon. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I would KILL to be in such a situation. Well, almost kill. You get the idea.
Cyn's having a bad day today......
The most accurate scientific study I've seen in a while....
A recent scientific study found that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
If she is menstruating, she is likely to prefer a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors shoved deep into his temple and a cricket stump jammed up his ass.
Further studies are expected.......
This isn't a real study, it's a joke (I think). But can you believe that a male friend sent it to me??? Have you all actually SEEN a cricket stump? Ouch. Yeah, its pretty accurate.
Do any of you have any other suggestions? *claps hands in glee* aw cumon, you know you do.
A recent scientific study found that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
If she is menstruating, she is likely to prefer a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors shoved deep into his temple and a cricket stump jammed up his ass.
Further studies are expected.......
This isn't a real study, it's a joke (I think). But can you believe that a male friend sent it to me??? Have you all actually SEEN a cricket stump? Ouch. Yeah, its pretty accurate.
Do any of you have any other suggestions? *claps hands in glee* aw cumon, you know you do.
4/27/2004
Scarlett's "Dumb-ass of the Week" Award
And the winner is........................................
The dumb ass in the US that stole a big-wheeler full of boxed cherries, drove it straight to his house, proceeded to post "Cherries for Sale" signs, and sell them straight from his backyard by the box. Then the idiot offered to sell "the whole truckload" for a mere $28,000.00!!!!!!!!!!
Police apprehended the fool by following the "Cherries for Sale" signs to his house where he was still in process of selling cherries from the back of the truck.
Question: What the hell would ANYONE do with a whole truckload of cherries???
And the winner is........................................
The dumb ass in the US that stole a big-wheeler full of boxed cherries, drove it straight to his house, proceeded to post "Cherries for Sale" signs, and sell them straight from his backyard by the box. Then the idiot offered to sell "the whole truckload" for a mere $28,000.00!!!!!!!!!!
Police apprehended the fool by following the "Cherries for Sale" signs to his house where he was still in process of selling cherries from the back of the truck.
Question: What the hell would ANYONE do with a whole truckload of cherries???
I've often considered the whole human guinea pig thing with regards to my fertility problems. I mean, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
Then I thought that those weasels that run the labs would do lots of poking and prodding and some particulary nasty tests as well. Nah. Don't sound too good. I'd rather end up flat broke, again,I think.With my luck they'd do some real freaky shit to me and I'd end up pregnant with some half-mutant like in X-Men or something. (Wouldn't necessarily mind being impregnated the old fashioned way by Hugh Jackman though! Woof Woof! He's charming, good looking, TALL, has a MIGHTY fine ass, AND can sing Show Tunes in a beautiful baritone... and he isn't gay even though he can and likes sing show tunes) Again.....woof woof. I mean,have you all seen the trailers for the film Van Helsing?????
Now before you all go feeling sorry for Z with all my panting over Hugh Jackman, please take this into consideration first. I have to put up with his pants and slack-jawed dazed drooling and "she's gorgeous/amazing/hot/sexy, etc" over the following: Rebecca Romajn-Stamos, Pam Anderson, Nicloe Kidman,Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kate Blanchette, Madonna,Giselle Bunchden (Model) Uma Thurman, Charlize Theron, Angeline Jolie.... shall I continue or is this enough for you?
Therefore, I must also add to my list of males I would happily roll in bed with (or where ever else we wound up. Well! I'm a creative and imaginative woman!) Ahem.....
Sean Connerey, Mel Gibson (becasue he could make me laugh AND scream!), Aidan Quinn, Pierce Brosnan, Tom Selleck (ditto for Mel's comment),Ewan MacGregor (he's a naughty laddie) Jude Law (he's sooo intense & sensual),a slightly younger Simon le Bon (Duran Duran), Simon's younger brother Jonathan (cause I met him and we had this "connection", but nothing came of it ever,dammit. He sings better than Simon and is..... H.O.T. TRUST ME.sigh.) Definetly Hugh Jackman (Ditto on the Mel comment, AND we could sing Show Tunes)
Ah.... I'd better stop, my mind is on overdrive and I don't want y'all to think I'm slutty or anything. It isn't as if I said "all of them at once" or any such nonsense. I did notice that I seem to have this thing for Tall men with dark hair and light blue or green eyes. Hmmmmm. Goodness gracious. The only one without an accent is Tom Selleck! At least I'm fairly consistent!!!
Please feel free to add your celebrity fantasies!*wink wink* And MINDY, I KNOW we'd have to take turns with Sean, but I love you, so I don't mind sharing!!!!
Wow, I started out talking about freaky infertility test trials and ended up delving into my fantasies. Actually, I'm happily numb after this, so I suppose it was a good thing!
Then I thought that those weasels that run the labs would do lots of poking and prodding and some particulary nasty tests as well. Nah. Don't sound too good. I'd rather end up flat broke, again,I think.With my luck they'd do some real freaky shit to me and I'd end up pregnant with some half-mutant like in X-Men or something. (Wouldn't necessarily mind being impregnated the old fashioned way by Hugh Jackman though! Woof Woof! He's charming, good looking, TALL, has a MIGHTY fine ass, AND can sing Show Tunes in a beautiful baritone... and he isn't gay even though he can and likes sing show tunes) Again.....woof woof. I mean,have you all seen the trailers for the film Van Helsing?????
Now before you all go feeling sorry for Z with all my panting over Hugh Jackman, please take this into consideration first. I have to put up with his pants and slack-jawed dazed drooling and "she's gorgeous/amazing/hot/sexy, etc" over the following: Rebecca Romajn-Stamos, Pam Anderson, Nicloe Kidman,Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kate Blanchette, Madonna,Giselle Bunchden (Model) Uma Thurman, Charlize Theron, Angeline Jolie.... shall I continue or is this enough for you?
Therefore, I must also add to my list of males I would happily roll in bed with (or where ever else we wound up. Well! I'm a creative and imaginative woman!) Ahem.....
Sean Connerey, Mel Gibson (becasue he could make me laugh AND scream!), Aidan Quinn, Pierce Brosnan, Tom Selleck (ditto for Mel's comment),Ewan MacGregor (he's a naughty laddie) Jude Law (he's sooo intense & sensual),a slightly younger Simon le Bon (Duran Duran), Simon's younger brother Jonathan (cause I met him and we had this "connection", but nothing came of it ever,dammit. He sings better than Simon and is..... H.O.T. TRUST ME.sigh.) Definetly Hugh Jackman (Ditto on the Mel comment, AND we could sing Show Tunes)
Ah.... I'd better stop, my mind is on overdrive and I don't want y'all to think I'm slutty or anything. It isn't as if I said "all of them at once" or any such nonsense. I did notice that I seem to have this thing for Tall men with dark hair and light blue or green eyes. Hmmmmm. Goodness gracious. The only one without an accent is Tom Selleck! At least I'm fairly consistent!!!
Please feel free to add your celebrity fantasies!*wink wink* And MINDY, I KNOW we'd have to take turns with Sean, but I love you, so I don't mind sharing!!!!
Wow, I started out talking about freaky infertility test trials and ended up delving into my fantasies. Actually, I'm happily numb after this, so I suppose it was a good thing!
4/26/2004
Are you feeling lucky?
Well yes actually, I am. But it's a little bit frightening. Fine, so I LIED! It's a LOT frightening. Things are going along quite well. So well in fact, that I'm waiting with baited breath....... for the shit to hit the fan cause to be honest, this is NOT NORMAL.
I'm feeling quite positive about the next round of IVF next month. That will probably wear off, oh, I'd say in about 2 weeks or so. (maybe sooner, I'm getting freak out pangs already) My job is going well.I mean, so far, so good. *knocks...POUNDS on wood*. Ditto for Z's new job.*more wood knocking*. Evil MIL keeping her yap shut for the past 2 days (which TERRIFIES Me, cause that is SO not normal. She must be up to something. I'm not paranoid, I'm realistic! There IS a difference.) Actually looks like I've lost some weight. Daughter being nice to mama (me) (ie: no pre-teen psycho hormone surges) for days now. Very odd. As a matter of fact, I don't remember a time in my life that so many things were going well for me at once. See why I'M SCARED??? THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
I thought it was just me, so I kept my terror to myself. But then,what really scared me was that the other day, Z said the same thing. Well great, just when I was doing a good job at ignoring my mild fits of terror. Thanks honey. No, really. THANK YOU.
No, the IVF has to work this time. Cause otherwise....... I might throw a complete hissyfit, and that just wouldn't be pretty.
Jeez, I hope I make it home in one piece.
Well yes actually, I am. But it's a little bit frightening. Fine, so I LIED! It's a LOT frightening. Things are going along quite well. So well in fact, that I'm waiting with baited breath....... for the shit to hit the fan cause to be honest, this is NOT NORMAL.
I'm feeling quite positive about the next round of IVF next month. That will probably wear off, oh, I'd say in about 2 weeks or so. (maybe sooner, I'm getting freak out pangs already) My job is going well.I mean, so far, so good. *knocks...POUNDS on wood*. Ditto for Z's new job.*more wood knocking*. Evil MIL keeping her yap shut for the past 2 days (which TERRIFIES Me, cause that is SO not normal. She must be up to something. I'm not paranoid, I'm realistic! There IS a difference.) Actually looks like I've lost some weight. Daughter being nice to mama (me) (ie: no pre-teen psycho hormone surges) for days now. Very odd. As a matter of fact, I don't remember a time in my life that so many things were going well for me at once. See why I'M SCARED??? THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
I thought it was just me, so I kept my terror to myself. But then,what really scared me was that the other day, Z said the same thing. Well great, just when I was doing a good job at ignoring my mild fits of terror. Thanks honey. No, really. THANK YOU.
No, the IVF has to work this time. Cause otherwise....... I might throw a complete hissyfit, and that just wouldn't be pretty.
Jeez, I hope I make it home in one piece.
4/25/2004
It's probably in my DNA
Yup, I've come to this conclusion that this twisted apeshit sense of humor HAS to be genetic. Well, I mean, it's not as if I wasn't sure before or anything, cause both sides of my family are pretty much a blast, but still. I think my first hint should have been when I was an infant. My Dad used to sit in his recliner after work,let me lay on his chest on my back, and allow me to wiggle my toes in his handlebar moustache.This I did until I got too big, but at least till I was about 2 1/2, as far as I can remember. 2nd hint should have been Dad and Brother Joey speaking to me with a Donald Duck voice whenever the mood struck. Yup, that really should have done it. Dad is silly. Brother is silly. Mama is a crack up too! Actually, Mama does so many things (we are SOOOO ALIKE) I don't know where to begin. But she is a blast. Even now, she does hilarious things, like when she came to vist for Christmas 2002. She was copying Michael Jackson dancing and grabbing his crotch for Arianna making the "tee-heee heeeee, WHOOOOOO!!!" noise along with it. Arianna STILL thinks about it and collapses into hysterics. Between Mama and Dad, I don't know who is worse. I think maybe it's a tie. Everyone in my family is pretty funny. Well, I was worried about my Dad's sister, cause her sense of humor was, well, different if non-existant. I thought maybe it was sucked out of her over the last 30 years she's been an astro-physicist for NASA. I mean, why would you need a sense of humor to work at NASA? It's all *shudder* NUMBERS and stuff.*gag, retch*(can you tell I hate math?) I was worried actually cause my NANA,(her mom) God rest her soul, was the queen of funny, and such a smart ass too! (In my family, we call that intelligence,not sarcasam-get it??). Yup, I was concerned.
Well, at least until I got my email today. I just had to share this with y'all. I've been there, done that and some more. Now I know she's just as wacked as the rest of us. Check out my Aunt's genius. Oh, she is a cat-person too.(I love all animals excecpt reptiles and incects) I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.
How to Give a Cat a Pill:
(1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
(2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in right arm (to avoid wound on left arm) and repeat process.
(3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
(4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in best arm, holding rear paws tightly with hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
(5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
(6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill, put down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
(7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
(8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow through straw.
(9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
(10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
(11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
(12) Call fire department to retrieve the fucking cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
(13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
(14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
(15) Call local pet shop to see if they have any guinea pigs.
How to Give a Dog a Pill:
(1) Wrap it in bacon. Drop on the floor
It would be even funnier if it all wasn't so true.
Yup, I've come to this conclusion that this twisted apeshit sense of humor HAS to be genetic. Well, I mean, it's not as if I wasn't sure before or anything, cause both sides of my family are pretty much a blast, but still. I think my first hint should have been when I was an infant. My Dad used to sit in his recliner after work,let me lay on his chest on my back, and allow me to wiggle my toes in his handlebar moustache.This I did until I got too big, but at least till I was about 2 1/2, as far as I can remember. 2nd hint should have been Dad and Brother Joey speaking to me with a Donald Duck voice whenever the mood struck. Yup, that really should have done it. Dad is silly. Brother is silly. Mama is a crack up too! Actually, Mama does so many things (we are SOOOO ALIKE) I don't know where to begin. But she is a blast. Even now, she does hilarious things, like when she came to vist for Christmas 2002. She was copying Michael Jackson dancing and grabbing his crotch for Arianna making the "tee-heee heeeee, WHOOOOOO!!!" noise along with it. Arianna STILL thinks about it and collapses into hysterics. Between Mama and Dad, I don't know who is worse. I think maybe it's a tie. Everyone in my family is pretty funny. Well, I was worried about my Dad's sister, cause her sense of humor was, well, different if non-existant. I thought maybe it was sucked out of her over the last 30 years she's been an astro-physicist for NASA. I mean, why would you need a sense of humor to work at NASA? It's all *shudder* NUMBERS and stuff.*gag, retch*(can you tell I hate math?) I was worried actually cause my NANA,(her mom) God rest her soul, was the queen of funny, and such a smart ass too! (In my family, we call that intelligence,not sarcasam-get it??). Yup, I was concerned.
Well, at least until I got my email today. I just had to share this with y'all. I've been there, done that and some more. Now I know she's just as wacked as the rest of us. Check out my Aunt's genius. Oh, she is a cat-person too.(I love all animals excecpt reptiles and incects) I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.
How to Give a Cat a Pill:
(1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
(2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in right arm (to avoid wound on left arm) and repeat process.
(3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
(4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in best arm, holding rear paws tightly with hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
(5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
(6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill, put down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
(7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
(8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow through straw.
(9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
(10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
(11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
(12) Call fire department to retrieve the fucking cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
(13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
(14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
(15) Call local pet shop to see if they have any guinea pigs.
How to Give a Dog a Pill:
(1) Wrap it in bacon. Drop on the floor
It would be even funnier if it all wasn't so true.
4/22/2004
Dionne Warwick doesn’t have SHIT on my husband.
Last night, I made the mistake of saying a small, I mean ITSY thing to my husband and ended up gaping at him like a dying fish. Yes, he floored me yet again. The rat.
See, my elder brother (technically he’s a half-brother, but who really cares?) has this dark blond hair with a big fat shock of PLATINUM BLOND just slightly off center along his hairline. Were talking about “3 finger” width here. (Think booze measurement) It’s natural. And lately, I’ve been growing some hair pretty similar in the same place. (AND NO IT ISN”T WHITE- ITS BLONDE) Difference is, my brother, Joey, has had this hair since he was a little boy. Daddy always told him he’d better not try and rob a bank or something stupid and illegal, cause the police would find him in a millisecond.(he’s tried dying it in desperation, but it won’t take color).
All I said to Z was:
Cyn: “Wouldn’t it be something if we had a little boy with hair like Joey?”
Z: “Well, one of them could, actually.”
Cyn: “ONE of them?”
Z: “Yeah, one of the triplets”.
Cyn: “WHAT TRIPLETS?? You think we’re gonna have triplets?” (Um, for the record, IM NOT PREGNANT)
Z’s response was to look very serious and deep in my eyes and say, “Well, yes actually. For the longest time I’ve had the deep feeling in my gut that we will end up with triplets.” ME: gaping like a fish out of water *sputter, sputter* Then I just accepted that it would probably happen.
See, Z tends to have these “psychic friends” moments. I shit you not. Honest. When we were dating and first married, if I was dieting, for example,if I cheated, he would not only tell me that I had cheated on said diet, but WHAT I ATE. He was ALWAYS RIGHT. ALWAYS. (shit shit shit!)
Often I mull things over in my head and as I’m THINKING them, he opens his mouth and my thoughts tumble out. I say “HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT???” Trust me, it’s kinda scary. Then I think, *Hmm, he also has “called” pregnancies, of so many people that didn’t even know they are pregnant.” Well, jeez. Then recently, he told me he suspected his niece was pregnant with triplets after doing an IUI. Damn me if he wasn’t right. When I found out, I just punched him in the arm when he smirked at me with that “I told you so” look on his face. A number of my forum friends from the IVF infertility board in UK got pregnant as a result of IVF- I was and am very happy for them. About 5 of them are pregnant with triplets. Z called them ALL! Well shit. I didn’t tell them ALL that he called it, but I did tell the latest one (HIYA AUSSIE GIRL!) and it wigged her out too! Pissed me off cause I’ve been hearing “I told you so, didn’t I?” a hell of a lot lately.
He has been telling me for the past 2 years….”Hang on for 2004. I feel in my gut that it will be a turnaround year for us. That things will start falling into place and big changes will happen for us.” Well shit, so far, it’s April and I’m really freaking out. In mid-January 2004, I got a phone call out of the blue asking me to come for an interview. Turns out that it was for a job that I had desperately wanted 5 years ago! I went. A week later, they called me for a second interview. A week after that, I went and met my new boss who offered me the job. Any demand I made, he met. (Hallelejuah! Praise the Lord! Thank you! Thank you!) My salary was increased by 65% a month. Working hours 7:30- 2:45 (i.e.: ideal for IVF, pregnancy and a new baby) 30 days vacation. (Thank you Lord- must be appreciative. 2003 was a shit year from hell.) I resigned from the previous job by Feb 4. Feb 10, I found out that my 3rd IVF try failed. Back to the damn drawing board. There we sit trying to figure out how the hell to come up with the cash for another try. I mean, come on, IVF isn’t exactly cheap, now is it? (In case you didn’t know, every try is roughly the equivalent of a fat down payment on a house. I mean just the meds are at least $3,000)
Are you freaked out yet? Even a little? Hang on, you will be.
Now comes the weird part. 2 weeks after I resigned, Z gets offered a new job, when he was MISERABLE, overworked and underpaid. (I mean, you work like hell and sell over 2.5 million Dollars in sales for the year and then come bonus time, for the 6th year in a row, they come up with a stupid excuse to not give bonus.Talk about ungrateful!!) The new job offer was amazing. Like a dream Gee, guess what Z told his employers?????? Cumon now, guess! “Fuck these a-holes.” And he quit. I typed him a beautiful resignation letter. He started his new job 6 years TO THE DAY he started the one he just quit. (April 1). So far, so good Z. Keep it up.
WAIT! Did I just say that? Then that means that I’m gonna end up with triplets. Twins I think I could handle. I’ve had this feeling I would end up with twins. But 3?? Um, I dunno. That scares me a little.I thought maybe he was channeling the vibes from his niece or something, and asked him as much, but he said, "Um, no. I ‘ve had this feeling for the longest time." Thing is, he looked so happy at the thought of me having the 3 stooges. And that was sweet.
I bet you don’t blame me for freaking out now, do you?? I thought not.
Well shit. I’m in for it now, aren’t I??? I’m kind of glad I punched him in the face last night in my sleep.
Oopsy.
Last night, I made the mistake of saying a small, I mean ITSY thing to my husband and ended up gaping at him like a dying fish. Yes, he floored me yet again. The rat.
See, my elder brother (technically he’s a half-brother, but who really cares?) has this dark blond hair with a big fat shock of PLATINUM BLOND just slightly off center along his hairline. Were talking about “3 finger” width here. (Think booze measurement) It’s natural. And lately, I’ve been growing some hair pretty similar in the same place. (AND NO IT ISN”T WHITE- ITS BLONDE) Difference is, my brother, Joey, has had this hair since he was a little boy. Daddy always told him he’d better not try and rob a bank or something stupid and illegal, cause the police would find him in a millisecond.(he’s tried dying it in desperation, but it won’t take color).
All I said to Z was:
Cyn: “Wouldn’t it be something if we had a little boy with hair like Joey?”
Z: “Well, one of them could, actually.”
Cyn: “ONE of them?”
Z: “Yeah, one of the triplets”.
Cyn: “WHAT TRIPLETS?? You think we’re gonna have triplets?” (Um, for the record, IM NOT PREGNANT)
Z’s response was to look very serious and deep in my eyes and say, “Well, yes actually. For the longest time I’ve had the deep feeling in my gut that we will end up with triplets.” ME: gaping like a fish out of water *sputter, sputter* Then I just accepted that it would probably happen.
See, Z tends to have these “psychic friends” moments. I shit you not. Honest. When we were dating and first married, if I was dieting, for example,if I cheated, he would not only tell me that I had cheated on said diet, but WHAT I ATE. He was ALWAYS RIGHT. ALWAYS. (shit shit shit!)
Often I mull things over in my head and as I’m THINKING them, he opens his mouth and my thoughts tumble out. I say “HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT???” Trust me, it’s kinda scary. Then I think, *Hmm, he also has “called” pregnancies, of so many people that didn’t even know they are pregnant.” Well, jeez. Then recently, he told me he suspected his niece was pregnant with triplets after doing an IUI. Damn me if he wasn’t right. When I found out, I just punched him in the arm when he smirked at me with that “I told you so” look on his face. A number of my forum friends from the IVF infertility board in UK got pregnant as a result of IVF- I was and am very happy for them. About 5 of them are pregnant with triplets. Z called them ALL! Well shit. I didn’t tell them ALL that he called it, but I did tell the latest one (HIYA AUSSIE GIRL!) and it wigged her out too! Pissed me off cause I’ve been hearing “I told you so, didn’t I?” a hell of a lot lately.
He has been telling me for the past 2 years….”Hang on for 2004. I feel in my gut that it will be a turnaround year for us. That things will start falling into place and big changes will happen for us.” Well shit, so far, it’s April and I’m really freaking out. In mid-January 2004, I got a phone call out of the blue asking me to come for an interview. Turns out that it was for a job that I had desperately wanted 5 years ago! I went. A week later, they called me for a second interview. A week after that, I went and met my new boss who offered me the job. Any demand I made, he met. (Hallelejuah! Praise the Lord! Thank you! Thank you!) My salary was increased by 65% a month. Working hours 7:30- 2:45 (i.e.: ideal for IVF, pregnancy and a new baby) 30 days vacation. (Thank you Lord- must be appreciative. 2003 was a shit year from hell.) I resigned from the previous job by Feb 4. Feb 10, I found out that my 3rd IVF try failed. Back to the damn drawing board. There we sit trying to figure out how the hell to come up with the cash for another try. I mean, come on, IVF isn’t exactly cheap, now is it? (In case you didn’t know, every try is roughly the equivalent of a fat down payment on a house. I mean just the meds are at least $3,000)
Are you freaked out yet? Even a little? Hang on, you will be.
Now comes the weird part. 2 weeks after I resigned, Z gets offered a new job, when he was MISERABLE, overworked and underpaid. (I mean, you work like hell and sell over 2.5 million Dollars in sales for the year and then come bonus time, for the 6th year in a row, they come up with a stupid excuse to not give bonus.Talk about ungrateful!!) The new job offer was amazing. Like a dream Gee, guess what Z told his employers?????? Cumon now, guess! “Fuck these a-holes.” And he quit. I typed him a beautiful resignation letter. He started his new job 6 years TO THE DAY he started the one he just quit. (April 1). So far, so good Z. Keep it up.
WAIT! Did I just say that? Then that means that I’m gonna end up with triplets. Twins I think I could handle. I’ve had this feeling I would end up with twins. But 3?? Um, I dunno. That scares me a little.I thought maybe he was channeling the vibes from his niece or something, and asked him as much, but he said, "Um, no. I ‘ve had this feeling for the longest time." Thing is, he looked so happy at the thought of me having the 3 stooges. And that was sweet.
I bet you don’t blame me for freaking out now, do you?? I thought not.
Well shit. I’m in for it now, aren’t I??? I’m kind of glad I punched him in the face last night in my sleep.
Oopsy.
I LOVE MY BED
Yes I surely do.
WHAT??????????????? My bed, a California King (Yes, SIZE DOES MATTER!) with it's jersey sheets.......ah heaven. Have you slept on jersey sheets? NO? Try it! Naked(-ish).
Look , I (dragging a VERY reluctant and nagging Z along) searched for 4 months all over L.A. looking for the perfect mattress when I was engaged. (Z: What's the big deal?? Its JUST a mattress!)It took me longer to find the matterss than it did for me to find my wedding dress! THEN, after finding my darling bed,WE-paid-through-the-nose for the Sealy Posturpedic Beautyrest blah blah something. Z, who was nagging about it just being "a mattress", adores the bed. It's so comfy, you can't sit on it without getting drowzy.
When we moved to the other side of the planet 6 years ago and Z was wanting to sell everything I said "Look sell what you want, but we are shipping the bed..and the new sofas." That was fair, I thought. (The bed survived the 3 month ship trip.... the sofas had a bit of a rough time of it.) Anyway, that mattress is now 13 1/2 years old....... ah, but it's seen a lot of fun, that mattress.
But I digress....... I love my Perfect BED. Well, it is perfect and I was happy...until the damn alarm clock goes off.
This morning, there I lay, after tossing and turning for what seemed like ages to get in just the right position all happy and comfy..finally. (lookee here, I've got a bad back, so it takes a while to get comfy) I sleep, happy. next thing I know.....
deet deet deet. deet deet deet.......... (fucking alarm) snooze.
5 min later................deet deet deet. deet deet deet......(*stupid fucking alarm!!*).... snooze......and so on........ for 35 minutes. Then I shoot out of the bed like my ass is on fire. Damn! Damn! Damn!!!! Gonna be late for work! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run through the yard, jump in the car and VROOM! FLY to work. (I love my car!vroom vroom.3.5L high performance engine) Make it by the skin of my teeth-2 minutes to spare on the timeclock. WHEW!
Was it worth hitting the snooze button all those times???
You bet your ass!
Yes I surely do.
WHAT??????????????? My bed, a California King (Yes, SIZE DOES MATTER!) with it's jersey sheets.......ah heaven. Have you slept on jersey sheets? NO? Try it! Naked(-ish).
Look , I (dragging a VERY reluctant and nagging Z along) searched for 4 months all over L.A. looking for the perfect mattress when I was engaged. (Z: What's the big deal?? Its JUST a mattress!)It took me longer to find the matterss than it did for me to find my wedding dress! THEN, after finding my darling bed,WE-paid-through-the-nose for the Sealy Posturpedic Beautyrest blah blah something. Z, who was nagging about it just being "a mattress", adores the bed. It's so comfy, you can't sit on it without getting drowzy.
When we moved to the other side of the planet 6 years ago and Z was wanting to sell everything I said "Look sell what you want, but we are shipping the bed..and the new sofas." That was fair, I thought. (The bed survived the 3 month ship trip.... the sofas had a bit of a rough time of it.) Anyway, that mattress is now 13 1/2 years old....... ah, but it's seen a lot of fun, that mattress.
But I digress....... I love my Perfect BED. Well, it is perfect and I was happy...until the damn alarm clock goes off.
This morning, there I lay, after tossing and turning for what seemed like ages to get in just the right position all happy and comfy..finally. (lookee here, I've got a bad back, so it takes a while to get comfy) I sleep, happy. next thing I know.....
deet deet deet. deet deet deet.......... (fucking alarm) snooze.
5 min later................deet deet deet. deet deet deet......(*stupid fucking alarm!!*).... snooze......and so on........ for 35 minutes. Then I shoot out of the bed like my ass is on fire. Damn! Damn! Damn!!!! Gonna be late for work! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run through the yard, jump in the car and VROOM! FLY to work. (I love my car!vroom vroom.3.5L high performance engine) Make it by the skin of my teeth-2 minutes to spare on the timeclock. WHEW!
Was it worth hitting the snooze button all those times???
You bet your ass!
4/21/2004
The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store...
I thought y'all would appreciate these lovely greeting cards. (Julie, we really should go into business together)
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now
that you've come into my life...
Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
Inside card) - I never believed in Hell or the Devil until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go....
Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll
probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...
Inside card) - Someone completely different than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age..
Inside card) - You should with all those Botox injections every 6 weeks!I think you forgot to Botox your butt though.
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now that we've broken up, I think it's time for you to keep your promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...
Inside card) - What do you say we stop, hmmm?
9. I'm so miserable without you...
Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
Inside card) - Did you ever manage to find out who the father was?
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket...
Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday...
Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Daddy!
(Available only in the Ozark and Blue Ridge Mountain Range areas of the US)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help
but wonder...
Inside card) - What in the HELL was I thinking? Must've been the crack haze...yeah, thats it.
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband becausecause he's an asshole.
16. Wishing you a speedy recovery after your plastic surgery...
Inside card) Because you need to get to a lawyer right after you see what the Plastic Surgeon did to you.
17. Being in a relationship with you has taught me so much and made me realize so many things.....
Inside card) For instance, I realize now that I'm gay. Goodbye.
18. Heard you're leaving!
Inside the card) Finally,Thank God! I thought we'd never get rid of you. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out!Your things are packed and in your car.
Hey to my creative buddies, please feel free to add your own genius!
I thought y'all would appreciate these lovely greeting cards. (Julie, we really should go into business together)
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now
that you've come into my life...
Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
Inside card) - I never believed in Hell or the Devil until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go....
Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll
probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...
Inside card) - Someone completely different than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age..
Inside card) - You should with all those Botox injections every 6 weeks!I think you forgot to Botox your butt though.
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now that we've broken up, I think it's time for you to keep your promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...
Inside card) - What do you say we stop, hmmm?
9. I'm so miserable without you...
Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
Inside card) - Did you ever manage to find out who the father was?
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket...
Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday...
Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Daddy!
(Available only in the Ozark and Blue Ridge Mountain Range areas of the US)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help
but wonder...
Inside card) - What in the HELL was I thinking? Must've been the crack haze...yeah, thats it.
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband becausecause he's an asshole.
16. Wishing you a speedy recovery after your plastic surgery...
Inside card) Because you need to get to a lawyer right after you see what the Plastic Surgeon did to you.
17. Being in a relationship with you has taught me so much and made me realize so many things.....
Inside card) For instance, I realize now that I'm gay. Goodbye.
18. Heard you're leaving!
Inside the card) Finally,Thank God! I thought we'd never get rid of you. Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out!Your things are packed and in your car.
Hey to my creative buddies, please feel free to add your own genius!
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