8/28/2004

The Flashback


Tonight, Z and I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It was the first time I watched it from beginning to end. (I can hear your gasps of disbelief all the way the hell over here on the other side of the freaking planet, y'all!)


Ok, how many of you every now and then flash back to your youth?

You! Yes, you! Don't even think of trying to tell me you don't.

I'm sure it happens..... you're listening to the radio and the DJ goes into his own youth and plays something that just triggers the MEMORIES. Whatever the song, you remember the first concert you ever attended.... your first kiss... a school dance...a really great date..your first love... your first... ahem, never mind. You know what I mean!

You get the idea. Same goes for movies. Do you ever watch a movie and something triggers a memoy?

An outfit, shoes (Come on, admit it, you had VANS, didn't you?) legwarmers? Those plastic black bracelets that HAD to be worn at least 50 at a time ! A certain hair cut. A car just like the guy/girl you had a MAJOR crush on in high school or your first car for that matter! The character reminds you that you knew somebody JUST like that?! The jerk math teacher?

Don't you just end up all nostalgic? Could be in a good way, or it makes you sad.

Sure, I admit it. It can make me smile wistfully, or a wee bit sad too. A, maybe a small stroll down memory lane is in order for me.

The song "I just died in your arms tonight" by the Cutting Crew? Remember it? I cannot hear that song without thinking of my first love, David. (Hah! Even Z doesn't know the name of my first love, but I just admitted it to you!) That song was playing every single time we were together by some freaky coincidence. Good times those. He was the good friend, older than me by quite a bit, that somehow turned into somthing more, and it was really a beautiful relationship. Everytime I hear the song, even now 18 years later, I get a smile on my face and think of David for a bit. Nice memories all. A real gentleman, smart as hell with a phenominal memory unlike anything I've ever come across before or since! Funny and caring, considerate, protective and romantic. 6'1, silky jet black really wavy hair and big green eyes... and probably the best kisser ever!!!! Yes, EVER. (sigh!)

I never, ever dated guys from my school. Not once. I went out with guys from OTHER schools... always older than me. Don't ask me why, I just did. Maybe because, even though it was off and on with my moving around, I basically knew majority of these guys since elementary school. Heh, David was WAY out of school for that matter. I suppose that would explain why my husband is 7 years older than me (regardless of the lies he tells people about our age difference!)

Lets see now, enough about my early romantic life! (Sorry darlings!)

Now where was I? Oh yeah! Memory triggers. Yeah, I can't see "The Reflex" video or hear the song by Duran Duran without remembering my first concert, which was Duran Duran. Amazing. They filmed the video for it the night after I went to the concert! Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell"... many a school dance. Any Van Halen song... reminds me of my sister (RIP) Shelly's LUST of David Lee Roth but she would lose her damn mind just thinking about him in the "JUMP" video! "Safety Dance"= rollerskating. Hell, many songs remind me of rollerskating on Friday nights. The Smiths? I got SO busted for going to that concert with my cousin Sandra. Shit. My hair was blonde and she thought it would be cool to put her burgandy hair mousse in my hair for the night and then wash it out when we came home and before I went back home the next day. The concert was amazing! The gutairist got yanked into the crowd when some of the fans in the audience pulled him offstage by the wire that attached his gutair to the amp! Of course, that is nothing compared to the sound Sandra made later than night when I was bent over with my head under the bathtub faucet and she was attempting to shampoo the mousse out of my hair. Lets put it this way.... my hair was.. .erm, pink. Like Bazooka Bubble Gum pink. Boy did I have hell to pay when mama got a load of my hair. U2 and the Cult. Reminds me of a guy Simon I dated. He was great until I introduced him to Sandra. Shithead left me for her. Wham! Madonna.... shall I continue?

One more trip down memory lane, do you mind? Amalah suggested I do this eventually.

I was a good girl when I was younger, in my mid-late teens. (ie: I was not a ho and I didn't do drugs OR smoke and I was always out with the same couple of friends) Mom always (pretty much) always knew where I was. But BOY did I have a blast.

I think I've mentioned that Duran Duran was my very favorite group, even though I liked all music. But I did the think Mom said I would never do. I met them, thanks to David and quite a bit of gumption on my part. When the album Notorious came out... the whole damn album is one big memory for me. The summer of that tour was one I can never forget. Heh. That was a pretty wild summer. I met so many celebrities that summer it's amazing. I was going backstage to concerts. Hanging with Famous (at the time) muscians.... Billy Idol, The Cult (Made me forget ALL about Simon the jerk), Poison (one of my friends started dating one of the guys from Poison). My other friend was a bit of a closet ho (scratch that, she was not a friend in the end I found out, the bitch) , BUT, she had a "relationship" with the new gutairist for Duran, Warren Cucurillo (who was previously with Missing Persons). No, I did not date or DO any famous person. Actually, I liked things the way they were. They liked having me around to talk to, to joke with, (and I was a cutie, so it wasn't THAT) For instance, Kat, the ho, we would take her to Warrens and she would get PISSED when he said over the intercom "Is Cyn there?" I'd say "HI!!!" while she was giving me the look. He'd insist I come up too! showed me his studio at his place, and all, would play gutair for us, (me, still getting fuck off looks from Kat) chat and joke around. I ended up becoming good friends with a VP at Capitol/EMI records too! He was so nice. Kat would be bitchy bragging about "doing" these guys. I said "I'd rather be friends with them then for them to see me as a piece of ass. The difference is, they respect me. They want YOU around for 30 minutes or however long... but they want ME around to hang out with, watch a movie, grab a bite to eat, or just chat. (OK, she was being bitchy, and I can only take so much before I finally give it back). I was actually honored that I was trusted with some of the things they would talk to me about. Trust. They knew they could trust me in an industry where you can't trust anyone. *warm fuzzies*

I wasn't "friends" with EVERYONE.. just the few people I mentioned above.

I was freaked to be in the same room with Tommy Lee and Heather Locklear (and saw them do some things that I won't say I saw them do on my blog) You wanna feel real ugly girls, real fast? Stand in the vicinity of some of the 80's supermodels. Yasmin Le Bon, Christy Turlington... for starters. No matter how pretty you are, I guarantee, you'll feel like ALPO SUPREME. My list of celebreties can go on.... Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder..and on... so I'll stop here, ok?

Maybe not.

Memories. Who would have known that a few years later I'd be engaged? Funny. Glad I did what I did when I did. It was so much damn fun. I autograph hunted a bit also. A total blast!!

Guess who the most gracious actor I met was? George Hamilton. Mr. Tan. haha. He is MUCH better looking in person, such a gentleman, very elegant and well, gracious. And his smile could rival the sun. I knew Matthew Perry before "Friends". I've got a lovely picture of the two of us too! Nice guy.

I later got to feed my Celebrity itch later at the job I had right before I moved here to Bahrain. It was (is) one of the top day spas & salons in LA. Loads of famous people would come.... daily. Cool when they know you by name, no? You know who I absolutely LOVE? Two ladies. Cindy Costner (Kevin' s Ex) and actress Marlee Matlin. When I "told" Marlee goodbye and that I was moving overseas (remember, she is deaf) she gave me the BIGGEST hug and was all sad. Cindy, she is a wonderful woman and very kind when I said goodbye to her also.

You know, it's surreal when I watch movies, MTV or E! Channel (which I LOVE) and I see people on there that I've been face to face with and even talked to. But kinda cool too, cause you know? It causes another flashback and usually a really pleasant memory.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed my little trip down memory lane, or my "Flashback". Maybe, just maybe I'll do a flashback 2, but no promises.

I'm curious, what triggers a flashback for you? I showed you mine, now show me yours.

8/26/2004

Evidence!

I just had to provide this fine example of Julie's genuis for those of you doubting Thomases! Well, I had to as soon as I stopped laughing, that is! It's so sad, it's funny. Click on the link, hmmmm?

My beautiful infertile friends will especially like it. This is almost as good as the greeting cards she did at the beginning of the year! If you want to laugh your ass completely silly, then PLEASE, PLEASE click on this BUSH 2004 , because I almost peed myself laughing! Trust me darlings, it is NOT what you are expecting.

*wicked, evil grin*

Because I Want To!


Carrie Jo asked me a few questions based on my last post. I could have answered her privately in an email, but I’ve decided to actually make it a post. I appreciate her genuine interest.

Carrie Jo and I have “known” each other for over a year now, I think. She is a real sweetheart I met through the comments section over at JULIE’S. She is a fellow infertile, with additional problems that when she confided them to us, broke my heart, to be honest. She is an intelligent, caring and compassionate woman and I’m so very glad that she has come back to the blogworld after her “hiatus” (I missed you woman!) and found her way to my blog and is kind enough to leave comments.

Now, for Carrie Jo’s question. Did I grow up in the US and is it scary living under a foreign government.

Yes hon, I was born and raised in the USA. *Cue Bruce Springsteen here* Haha. I was born in North Miami Beach, Florida. When my parents divorced, Mama and I moved to Jacksonville. Then, here is my quickie list of where I’ve lived: Munich, Germany-Paris, France-back to dad for another try in Miami- then, when it wasn’t working out to Los Angeles- then Oklahoma (shudder, retch, hated it! Sorry Okies, long story)-back to Los Angeles for the long haul until early 1998 when I moved to Bahrain.

Is it scary to live under a foreign government? No. Not really. At least here it isn’t, I realize that there are other places here in the Middle East that I just couldn’t live. Saudi Arabia is one, Iran is another. Not that I would!

The population is about 700,000. (Locals and expatriates combined!) I would say about 300,000 of that number are Bahrainis. Here the ruling family is very tolerant of all other religions. Of course, Islam is the main religion, but others are freely allowed to practice here. Muslims, Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus… all live side by side peacefully and practice their respective religions. You are not allowed to try to convert a Muslim to your religion, however. That could end you up in some deep doo-do.

Women are not really suppressed here. We all drive. Women do not have to cover, but do so only if they choose to. (or the men in their lives make them.) But it isn’t mandatory and ordered and enforced by the Government like in Iran (where I’ve been a few times on vacation) or in Saudi Arabia, where it is even more restricted.

There is the normal government bullshit that goes on all over the world, of course. But the Bahrain government has strong ties with the United States and England. But it is now a democratically ruled monarchy much like England. (Does that even make a lick of sense? Well, that’s what they say anyhow!) Well, they are trying and I give full points for that!

There are benefits to living and working here too. So many people come here from Europe, Canada, and the United States to work, enjoy the lifestyle, salary and benefits that they quite frankly would most likely be unable to have back home, and many end up staying and raising their kids here. There are “foreigners” that have lived here for more than 20-30 years.

To start with, Bahrain is currently a tax-haven. NO taxes on salary, consumer goods, or perishables. No tax on food. . Also, gasoline is at a fixed price, and it is very reasonable. (Understandably) Therefore, foreigners end up frequently driving cars that they wouldn’t possibly be able to afford to drive back home where we all have to frequently look forward to an hour drive at least in some states to work everyday. The luxury cars that are gas guzzlers. Huge SUV’s and the like. Some men come and have such senior positions, (ie: salary) that their wives can stay at home and not work if they so choose. Not all, but some.

Most homes have housemaids/nannies, either live-in or part time. Again, at very little cost. I mean seriously cheap labor. Try this on for size; you can have a live-in FULL TIME housemaid/nanny for as little as US$120.00 a month + food & necessities. Meaning, house is always clean and neat, laundry always clean and pressed, full time babysitter. Waiting there for your kids when they get home from school with a nice hot lunch waiting for them. This, I think, is an amazing option particularly for working moms here. If you get lucky, some of them are amazing cooks, for the ladies that don’t cook, or can’t be bothered. Whenever you and hubby want an evening out with friends, go on out!

Living the life of Riley, eh? Yeah, to some extent. There is give and take in all situations. Good and bad.

Now then. …. In the same post that Carrie Jo left a comment on, a very young and highly opinionated girl thought she would take the opportunity (In her first ever comment on MY blog) in the comments section to reprimand me: a soon-to-be-33 year old woman that has traveled the world extensively, for “whining” about something she found trivial like the entire country where I live being completely without electrical power for almost the whole day when, considering where I live, I should be worried about other things going on around me…put more value on life, ... etc, et al. blah blah blah.

When I read her remark, the first thing that struck me was I could have sworn I’ve read almost word-for-word an almost identical comment over on Julie’s blog a few months ago before Julie got pregnant that was left anonymously bitching at all of us infertiles to basically get a real life and stop WHINING about not being able to get pregnant, when there are problems that are more important than that going on in the world, and don’t any of us watch the news and know that? That if we want a baby so badly to just go adopt one…blah blah, and more bullshit.

Why did that particular post at Julie’s stick out in my mind so much? Well, first, because we all dog-piled on the chickenshit writer. Secondly, because I wrote such a doozy of a response that Julie did major reconstructive surgery on my comment. (ie: cut most of it out). IT was the first (and hopefully last) time she’s done that with one of my gizillion comments. Upon reflection, I admit that it was... well, strong.

The bottom line is this: Don’t fuck with my friends cause if you do, I’ll bitch-slap you into next week. You will find I’m quite protective. Apparently Cheryl b. feels the same about her friends….because she bitch-slapped the commenter on my blog before I could gather my thoughts. Actually, I loved Cheryl b to pieces waaaay before she defended me. I have NEVER seen her get so pissed before. Actually, this also goes for MittenKim too. Thank you- both of yous! I’m SO feelin the love. I’m sure the only reason my darling Mindy didn’t comment was because she was on vacation and had no inet access- (perish the thought! Shudder, twitch.) she is top dog in the pile. Well, Mindy and Amalah! Woof woof.

But I digress… back to that admonishment I received.

Little girl, the life I have led would chew you up and spit you out for breakfast.

To begin with, if you will kindly take notice, that at the top of MY blog, underneath the blog title, it states, quite clearly: "Scarlett’s got an opinion…. and she’s gonna share it whether you like it or not!” Was that not enough warning? I guess not.

It saddens me that the “little one” missed the WHOLE POINT of my post about the damn blackout. Maybe she missed it because of my rapier-sharp and cynical wit? Perhaps because she was blinded my humor and genius? (heh) Yeah, THAT must be why.

So, I will state it more clearly now. For the record. Okay? The point that so obviously went right over your head was that we all take so many things for granted on this little tiny island here in the Persian Gulf. So many people here didn’t realize just to what extent we were dependent on the electricity supply, beyond the obvious things like Air-conditioning in extreme heat and traffic signals. Typically the Ministry of Electricity & Water does timed power cuts during the extremely hot summer months. For an hour or so each day, in each “city” so that there is not so much strain on the electrical power plants. This is not a big deal. Sometimes there is so much pull during the summer from certain areas/cities that it trips the breaker for that area. They have always been good about getting it back up and running within a reasonable amount of time during such. People grumble, but it’s good-natured usually.

Now for a little lesson for you during your summer break holiday in Cause and Effect.

For an ENTIRE COUNTRY to be without power is dangerous in so many ways. The blackout lasted one day. It COULD have lasted longer. Imagine a whole country in suspended animation for days? A country that IS NOT SELF SUFFICIENT. That depends on trade? Suddenly people realized that we had to be careful with water usage, because if the tanks on top of the houses and in the compounds ran out… there was NONE for a while. There is one fresh water source that was used in old times, but it is a well, and not enough to take care of the population of this country, which is around 700,000. Therefore, we have desalinization plants to provide the water mains countrywide. But this water it produces is not for drinking.. no. We have bottled water, for drinking and cooking which people begin buying and hording just in case…..making some of us to go without. Not nice.

No electricity means the seawater is not being desalinated for consumption. We couldn’t pump gas because the pumps run on electricity. Oh yeah, and the sewerage treatment plants too. Only FOUR gas stations had generators. One of them ran out of gas. All businesses closed. Meat went bad. The majority of meat and produce is imported to Bahrain from Saudi Arabia, New Zeland, UK, and the USA. Most of the dairy products we have here are brought over the causeway from Saudi Arabia where they have dairy farms. So, while the food in ALL of our houses was going bad, so too was the food in the multitude of the grocery stores going bad.

In that one day that you said I was whining about, the country lost billions and billions of dollars. How? Well, lets see now. The products that we DO export couldn’t do business that day. Bahrain is the banking and financial hub of the entire Middle East. Millions lost from that sector alone. Then there is one of the exports… oil. Couldn’t pump from the ground by itself, now could it? The oil refineries? Needs electricity to operate. Bahrain also produces and exports steel and aluminum in massive amounts internationally. Nope, neither of them could do diddlysquat either.

There were accidents everywhere you looked due to the lack of traffic lights. But everyone was forced onto the roads because the cars air conditioning were the only source of comfort from the heat. Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t.

The heat. Last summer, hundreds of people in France alone died from heat exhaustion in temperatures NO WHERE NEAR what we get here. It was 105-108 in Paris last summer and people were dropping like flies. That day, the temp was around 120 degrees IN THE SHADE WHERE I WAS SITTING in my car with my daughter… PLUS at least 80% humidity, which probably kicked up the apparent temperature to around 135 or more. It is so hot, and the air so heavy on your chest, that every breath you take is wet, extremely hot air. It feels like someone is sitting on your chest. Someone really heavy. For me, this is the worst… since I have asthma. It is frightening to feel as though your lungs are not working… feeling your chest heave and strain for a little air and when you don’t get enough, the lightheadedness that hits you is even more frightening.

The best thing about the blackout? People were more appreciative for the things they took for granted. All over, I heard the comments, “Oh my God, how did our grandparents, gread-grandparents stand it? No AC’s, etc..”, although, with global warming and all, it just gets hotter and hotter. It wasn’t this bad 100 years ago. But still. MY daughter, who I have been trying to tell that she doesn’t always have to be entertained my TV, DVD’s, PS2 and other things, but to entertain HERSELF if she’s “Bored” by reading.. learned just that on this blackout day. She learned my little Cause and Effect lesson that day…. THE HARD WAY. I was able to teach her, by example, how to use her HEAD effectively when presented with a problem like this. Rather than let the dairy stuff completely spoil in the fridge, I transferred it to the freezer to try and keep it from going bad just IN CASE the blackout didn’t last too long. My remark about lying on the still cool tile? Completely true. (I do not lie on my blog or generally in real life either) Keep hydrated, wear as little as possible (while still being decent when out in public), and light colors so as not to trap the heat in your body. Many other things I was able to teach her that day. It was lovely in that respect.

EVERYONE in the country was outraged that such a thing could occur in the first place though. That was the fault of the government and showed a lack of forethought and emergency plan or “In Case Of” scenarios. Hopefully they learned their lesson as thoroughly as Arianna did that day.

It was also mentioned that considering where I live, I should be more concerned with the things going on around me and it should cause me to value life or some such. Let me tell you all something. My Nickname is CNN. Cyn News Network. Got that? I am and always have been, quite aware of the world that I live in. Jeez.
Blah.

Ok everyone, watch out. Cyn is going to get mildly political here. Which I NEVER talk about two things typically… Politics and religion. If somebody doesn’t like what I say here, feel free to go. Come back tomorrow when I’m being more playful. I’ve got a lesson to teach here! It is MY blog anyway. This will be the one and ONLY time I bring up either subject. OKAY? Promise.

First. Get out your map. (Go on, I’ll wait) A real map. NO cheating. I live in Bahrain. BAHRAIN. It is an island. And a TINY ONE AT THAT. Can you find it? I bet not without a map locator on the net. Ok. Now look it up on the net if you want. See where I live? I know, it’s hard, even then. Did you find Qatar? Bahrain is a little chip off the coast of Qatar and Saudi Arabia. Look at the size of Qatar will ya? It is HUGE! And nowhere near as developed as Bahrain at present, but from what I’ve heard, it’s beginning to boom. Bahrain may be an itty-bitty place, but it is a lovely mix of old and new. Of Modern and Traditional. That is what I like about it really. The crime rate is really quite low also.

Anyway…back to the map!

Please notice that I am not, literally in the middle of the Middle East Conflict or anywhere NEAR the military action going on in Iraq or Afghanistan. Thank God. I am about a good 2 hrs plane ride from Iraq. 3 hrs from Afghanistan. I’d say the distance between San Diego, California and Seattle, Washington? Bahrain is 4 ½ -5 hours by plane away from Palestine and Jerusalem in the opposite direction. The only thing I do hear, is from time to time, the F-16 fighter jets flying over the island to go to Iraq from one of the US aircraft carriers in the Gulf. I also heard them when they would leave for Afghanistan. That’s about it. (It sounds just like Top Gun, FYI and makes your heart pound)

Just because I’m not dodging bullets and suicide bomb*rs delusional enough to think that Allah (God) will reward them for killing themselves and innocents for a “cause, even if it is called a Jih*d (holy war)” everyday does not mean there aren’t terrorists here. There are, I’m sure. Difference is, the government caught 6 of them with links to Osama the Nutcase’s organization just last month as a matter of fact. God knows what they had up their sleeves. Anyway, it is probably only a matter of time before something happens here, I’m sure.

Bahrain is the central command for the US Navy’s Fifth Fleet and has been for longer than I’ve been alive. It is also, as previously mentioned, a financial hub for the Middle East. Bright side to all of this tiny island stuff is, everyone knows everyone. Gossip travels faster than a F1 car driven by Michael Shumaker (sp?). If you don’t know someone or something, you know someone that can tell you, definitely. So it is that they can find people up to mischief, cause people here have a hard time keeping their mouths shut. That is for damn sure!

And before you start in on the whole Jih*d thing, and another lecture, (spare me) I will tell you that I don’t agree with the fact that people (kids and teenagers) that throw stones get bullets for an answer. That is complete bullshit. So hush up and don’t start. I see both sides. Both sides are at fault.

I personally believe that if President Clinton couldn’t get those two sides to reach an agreement, as hard as he tried, then they, neither one, really wants to have peace. (Bless Bill’s philandering heart! I don’t really think his getting a blowjob in the Oval office affected his actual work much. I mean, hell, a world leader was having a discussion with him on the phone and the guy had no clue what Bill was “up” to. Ha!)

I am all too aware of what is going on in this region. Z’s niece, her husband, and 5 month old daughter lived in first the compound in Saudi Arabia that was bombed by those militants last year in May. The bomb went off directly in front of their villa. Every single one of their neighbors was killed, yet they miraculously survived. They will bear their scars forever, particularly her handsome husband who now has Frankenstein type scars on his face and head, one of which almost lost him his eye. Amazingly the baby didn’t have a scratch on her. They literally crawled through the burning wreckage of their house. Or what was left of their house. So yes, I understand just how frightening it can be.

Well, that is about all we have time for today folks. Tune in tomorrow for a more lighthearted post, hmmmm?

8/23/2004

Stupid Fffing Country
Can you feel the rant coming on? I know you can. It's really only a small one. Well, small by MY standards anyway!!
A question: What do you think is the worst thing that can happen in a country in late August in the Middle East with early morning temps of 105 degrees PLUS around (judging by lack of ability to draw oxygen into my lungs) 85-90% humidity? Hmmmmm???
Answer: A BLACKOUT. A WHOLE COUNTRY-WIDE BLACKOUT. Did I mention that I live on an island in the Persian Gulf? Attached to the nearest land mass by a 30km long causeway? Oh, well NOW I did.
Details:
Early this morning while I was still unconcious (another bout of insomnia.... passed out from exhaustion around 5am) the electricity went bye-bye. It woke me up. I thought to myself... "Aw shit, stupid basssards, how long I gotta wait for them to fix it this time?" (still sleep slurring my words in my head) See, it isn't odd for them to just cut the power supply for a half an hour or hour to sections of the country at a time to conserve power. I just thought it was yet another waiting game.
Nope.
After about an hour I started calling people on my moblie (cell) phone. That's when I found out the whole country was down. The damn power was out the whole day.
Maybe your don't realize just how dependent this country is on the electricity supply. I sure didn't , not until this blackout. There are the obvious things. NO Air Conditioning, tv, groceries spoiling, blah blah blah. yeah so. But also? No house phone cause the tel co computers are ALSO down for land lines. Thank God the mobiles were working, but they were so overloaded, that it took forever to get through. The Gas Stations? Closed. Only 4 had generators. Seems the newfangled gas pumps need electricity. (Aparently there were some amazing fistfights I missed at the 4 gas stations that actually WERE pumping!) One of em ran out of Gas somewhere during the middle of the day,which pissed people off even more! The traffic lights were all off also. All of them. Needless to say, on a good day, with the lights, there are accidents. Shut them down? People get all mind fucked and can't manage to drive! Accidents every freaking place. Tons of em. Water supply? Strapped. See, we were informed to use as little water as possible. Electric pumps are used to fill the big water tanks everywhere from the main water lines which come from desalinization plants which run on .........ELECTRICITY. get the picture?
The local radio station has an emergency generator. So do the 5-star hotels. The malls? No. Grocerey stores? no. The whole country shut down. Basically, we're pretty screwed today. It's 10:40pm and still some areas don't have electricty... my SIL what bought me the purse is one of em.
And me? I wrote this post by hand the old fashioned way with pen and paper while sitting with Arianna in my car with the Air Conditioning on. People were sitting in their cars, and either sitting in the garage, going around the block, (which I did every now and then and enabled me to catch Dr. Wand Monkey with his mistress- no shit!) I got fed up with cruising or just sitting in the car, so we went home. Ari had to use the bathroom, so I went in with her. Then I got to thinking.... (I hear a collective UH-OH!!!!! from around the globe Hush y'all!!!!!) looking at the cats spread flat out on the floor in various states of lazy... and noticed.. the tile floor in my bedroom is still, after all thse hours, pretty cool! Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder....... Well, if ya can't beat em, join em! I stripped off my tank top and shorts and stretched out in my underthings,on the cool tile floor! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That was GOOD! (and brilliant of me, I must admit!) Arianna wandered in and said, all appalled "MOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! What-ARE-YOU-DOING????????" "I'm getting cool cutie! Wanna join me?"
The electricity here came back on a few hours ago where I live.
Z? He works technically in Saudi Arabia. Literally on the bridge, Saudi side. He wasn't affected by the blackout, lucky bugger. BUT. He DID get his.
His car is still in the shop after his accident last week. So, the office driver has been taking him to work and bringing him back everyday (you can't take a rental car on the bridge from Bahrain to Saudi). This evening, Z's boss got all huffy, and told him he can't use him to get home. Z was stuck.
So I get a phone call from Z in the dark telling me (right as the elect kicks in) that he has HITCHEHIKED from Saudi. ME: SAY WHAT???? Z: "I hitched to Bahrain". ME: "The fuck you did?!" Z: " Yeeah, but they dropped me at X (Near his sisters house, kinda, but on the highway) and he was walking home! I said "Hang on, where are you exactly? He said "Well, It's pitch black, but I think I'm at XYZ ". Ok, I'm on my way!
Y'all. I was so fucking terrified. It was eerie. The whole country was pitch black. No streetlamps, nothin. Seems the only area with elect was in the near vicinity of my house. I creeped along roads with people driving like crazies on Acid. Me, Praying hard. I couldn't see jack shit. Then, I get to the intersection in front of his sisters house which, when all the lights and stoplights are working, is frigtening and you are highly likely to get killed at any rate. Excecpt NOW it's pitch dark excecpt for the cars coming from both directions at top speed. It took forever to make it across and turn left. I was cruising down the dark street looking for Z, who, it turns out, was wearing a BLACK suit. Mobile phones were shutdown due to overload of the lines... I had to hang a U-turn in another frightening intersection cause I thought I might have seen the white of his shirt on the other side a way back. I picked him up finally and crawled on back home.
Guess what the temp reading in the shade was today? 120+ 80% humidity.
And how was YOUR day?












The Betrayal –part 2 & 3

I don’t know whether to be hurt or pissed as hell. So far I’m about 50/50.

He’s’ still asking about surrogacy as recently as the day or two ago… right after I talked to him about how his last suggestion a month ago to his niece hurt and upset me. The same night that… oh wait… I didn’t tell you that part yet!

This is a doozy. Y’all really won’t believe this crap. I don’t think. But then, maybe you will….

The other evening Z, from out of the blue, said “How about adopting a cute baby from Russia? Those babies are cute!” (oh, yeah, that’s a reason to adopt a kid, cause they are cute) I looked at him and said as cally as my shock would allow: “I don’t suppose you knew that it costs loads to adopt a child from anywhere, do you?” and then I added, since emotionally, the whole adoption thing was a bit TOO much for me “and besides, I STILL haven’t told you how upset I am about you going behind my back and asking “A” (his niece with triplets) to be a surrogate for us, when you know how I feel about the whole surrogate issue.”

You could have heard a pin drop my friends. The look on his face was “deer caught in the headlights of an out of control Semi-truck”. Heh. He didn’t know she had told me and I caught him off guard…. Ie: no time whatsoever to think up a plausible lie.

Me: “didn’t know she told me, did you?”
Z: “no. But I didn’t say that!”
Me: “ yes, you did. Several times in fact. Even after I told you the reasons that honestly, surrogacy is not an intelligent option for us and how I felt about it besides.”
Z: “Oh, I was just kidding…ha ha”
Me: “Look at me when you say that please.” He couldn’t. “No, you weren’t joking, cause you got into details. She told me. And looked at me, woman-to-woman, friend-to-friend with PITY Am, I laughing? And NOW you bring up adoption! Like you think it’s free? Or cheap? It’s not. None of your alternatives are cheap. Or easier. The fact is, I CAN be pregnant, (as my two pregnancies can attest to… 1 full term, and 1 miscarriage) and I WANT to be pregnant. I just have to fight like hell to GET pregnant is all! I am weird, I know, cause I LIKE being pregnant. Even as horribly ill as I get, I like the whole pregnancy thing. And you want to take that away from me. You keep making comments about using someone with a ‘good’ uterus, cause mine must be screwed since the embryos didn’t stick 3 times. Like I’ve said before hon, this really hurts me, my feelings when you say and do these things.”
Z: “You’re oversensitive.”
ME: -------?---?----?----?----?

Then he got in a huff at ME(!) for calling him on it.

I could be a bitch here if I wanted, and hurt him like he keeps hurting me, but I didn’t do it. I could have said any number of things. Like, maybe my uterus doesn’t like his DNA anymore. Like, maybe the severe STRESS that the IVF specialist said I shouldn’t be UNDER when trying to get pregnant- the stress I deal with daily from my MIL, her screaming and cursing me, throwing things around,stealing, troublemaking and HUGE problems, taking verbal shots at me to and in front of Arianna, the stress that he is ADDING to (by getting verbally shitty and abusive and being generally mean to me in the days leading up to my “trigger” shot (example, "you're mean, that's why you can't get pregnant, you should worship my mother she is so innocent! but deal with her, cause I won't ever let her leave me." (Me, gaping in disgusted shock- ME? Worship? HER? But, I"m NOT gonna worship the devil's daughter! NO WAY! - I didn't say it, but boy did I think it!) and leaving me in tears in the ultrasound room before Dr. Wand Monkey even walks in, then sees me-alone- trying to wipe/will them away, and he asks me what’s wrong and I say “I don’t know, maybe I’m tired or it’s all these hormones you’re giving me,” but he looks in my face and KNOWS it’s not that, and then shakes his head at me, looking at me all sad.
He wants me to kiss MIL's ass? Honey, those days are LOOOOONGGGGGGG gone. Been there, done that. Been burned waaaaay too many times and to continue only makes me look and FEEL stupid. And stupid I'm not.
Bloody hell. In my ENTIRE LIFE, no one, not ONE person in my recollection, has EVER called ME mean. Till now. How fucked is that? I've been told I'm TOO NICE and forgiving quite a few times. But mean? uh, no.

Does Z not realize that for surrogacy, I would STILL have to go through the whole IVF procedure (ie, for his clarification, have to pay the COST of meds and IVF package) except that 3 days after egg collection, they would transfer my embryos to another woman instead of my uterus (which works ok, is healthy and normal, thank God)?? I mean, for people that have problems with their uterus this is a completely necessary plan. It is reasonable. But for me? My uterus is NOT the problem. I have PCOS. My ovaries are fucked, stubborn, etc… whatever . My tubes, clear. Both of em.

Ok, I sound pissed, don’t I? Well I am. And I’m very hurt too.

Know why? Huh? Cause, when I was talking this over with N (hamster owning niece) tonight and mentioning his surrogate comments… she got confused… and told me, Oh, I thought you were talking about him saying it the other night. Me: “WHA? The other night?” She said, “yeah, I was at “A’s” house and he was asking her “be a surrogate for us. Come on!” He said it twice, and she said “Oh be quiet!” and turned her back on him and changed the subject. I didn’t know he had said it to her before also!”

Gee, that would be the day after the conversation I related above about surrogacy and adoption.

Well, shit.

Shouldn’t I sound pissed? I really AM so pissed. Hurt. Pissed. Angry. I can’t make up my mind. Shouldn’t I be hurt? Angry? I don’t THINK I’m being oversensitive here.
Am I?
Ricky and Lucy

Went to go visit N at work yesterday. I met the little hamsters. Yeah. THE HAMSTERS! Ricky and Lucy.

They are… RED! She is light, orangey red, and he is RED!!! Like my hair red. He also has really big balls. She was NOT joking. Or Exaggerating. I mean, he walks funny cause of it. For the record. He is actually HEWGE also, as in OBESE. But very cute. She is NOT cute, that Lucy hamster. She looks like a rat. I don’t Love Lucy. But I love me some Ricky the hamster with gi-normous testicles. I was talking to him and he came up to the side of the cage where I was and stood up (how he balanced with that fat tummy and big ole balls is waaaaaaaay beyond me!) and wiggled his little nose and whiskers at me. Yes, I was talking to the damn hamsters. WHAT? I talk to animals. Hell, I cuss at lizards even . (ewwww) I didn't get to see his "belly button" though... I think that would have been TMI for me for the day, you know?

I still can’t believe she keeps the little buggers at work though.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

I will now answer any odd Ricky the hamster questions you might be chomping at the bit to ask me.