2/12/2005

Flattered

This post will be in response to a comment I received from Mare the other day. It might just possibly get some reader's panties in a bunch. Actually, it probably will. But Mare touched on a topic that I've actually considered writing about for a while now and I really want to reply to it. I was actually flattered that Mare was wondering what I would think about this situation that has obviously gotten her irritated and wanting to comment to the person concerned. So, I'll give my two cents worth.

Besides, it's my blog and I can write whatever the hell I want! La la la la la la la la la. See above? Under the blog name? It says I've got an opinion and I'm going to share it. Because sharing is caring. Heh.

So then. This is Mare's comment regarding a 17 year old friend of her little sister's who has gotten herself knocked up.

"…I'd just love to tell her that babies aren't fun, babies are work, and that being special when you're pregnant just makes it all the sadder when nobody gives a damn about you after the baby's born (I've heard young girls like that will get pregnant for the attention), but then I figure, it's too late for her so why say anything. Then I was wondering what you'd think about it, but I really don't know why."

Well Mare, I couldn't agree with everything you said more; perhaps the only difference is I think babies are also fun.

They are amazing, although you are totally right about them being work, and lots of it, but they are also oh so much fun. I adore babies. They are not fun in the way that a baby doll is fun and I really don't think that the majority of 17 year olds are ready enough or mature enough or responsible enough to become parents. There is ONE very special exception to this rule that I have seen with my own two eyes and that would be my friend Catrina who posts here on my blog. Cat got pregnant when she was 18 and I must say, she really was/is the most amazing, dedicated and wonderful mother. I am so very proud of her and the beautiful daughter she has raised who is now 13! But Cat is a rare exception to the rule. Then again, she was very mature for her age and always very responsible too. Her younger sister also got pregnant young and at the time, she was not an ideal mother. I know for a fact that her irresponsibility for her child drove Catrina bonkers a big part of the time. Now then.

I have KNOWN young girls that want to get pregnant just for the attention or thinking that it would trap a boyfriend into staying with them. *shakes head* and that is just plain ridiculous. I had a friend throughout High School that thought this way and half the time I wanted to shake her senseless. After graduation, she did end up getting pregnant and was a very dedicated mother to her 3-4 kids (last I saw) but I was extremely thankful that she didn't get pregnant in school. She wanted the attention. Craved it. And was forever caressing her abdomen wishing for a baby. (Ok, never mind that I do that whole caressing/wishing thing sometimes now- I’m 33 and infertile! HELLO! Slight difference, no? Yeah!) She even had phantom pregnancies. Yes, my slapping urge was still strong.

Actually, my slapping urge is still strong… in particular for the mom of the triplets I mention so often, for instance.

Those babies are more of something to brag about and get attention for, it seems, and not only to me, either. Neither the mom or father spend much time with them. Minutes at a time is all. I've never seen them spend more than 5 minutes with their triplets and I'm over there a LOT. Half the time when I go over, I say hello and go straight to their room and end up playing with the babies for 30-40 minutes at least. She has 3 nannies/maids and the babies cry for the nannies when their mom holds them, whenever that is. Yet she brags about being Supermom all the time, having triplets and a 3 year old. "I'm a Supermom!" (me: *gagging*)When I see only the 3 year old getting any attention at all. She only bathes the triplets, and that is about it excecpt for telling anyone who will listen that she has triplets and a 3 year old blah blah blah. She leaves work at 3 in the afternoon and has loads of time to spend with them but doesn't. My hand itches frequently. When they were sick, I would take care of them. And when the youngest of them developed a chest infection, even the nannies commented on the fact that I noticed it and insisted on the doctor's visit, not the child's mother. I'm sorry, but a supermom is a woman that works, does laundry, cleans the house, cooks, and takes care of the kids. Especially a supermom of 4 kids under 3. Not someone with 3 nannies/maids to cook, clean, do laundry, stay up with the kids when they are sick and crying all night, dress them, bathe them usually, play with them and feed them and make fresh baby food daily and keep them on a strict time schedule. I've heard her, on the few times she takes them out, come back from an excursion to the mall and say "wow, I feel like such a celebrity!". This is someone that craves attention normally. *sits on hand*

Attention and bragging rights. Talk about being pregnant for the wrong reason. I've seen women get pregnant for some very screwed up reasons.

Now for my–probably- very controversial comments, as if what I've already said wasn't bad enough. I am speaking my mind, and from the view of a woman that adores children, is a very dedicated mother, and a woman that has suffered reproductive problems for her whole adult life and cannot get pregnant without medical intervention. Is everyone ready? God I hope so.

Now I am speaking generally, and, before anyone pipes up, religious beliefs aside.

Teenagers should not be getting pregnant at all. If they are going to have intercourse, they should ALWAYS use a condom. Not just to prevent pregnancy, but for other STD's as well. For their health. Both of them.

I do not believe there is any such thing as an 'accidental' or unplanned pregnancy. Not. At. All. The only real 'oopsy' accidental pregnancy is ONLY, ONLY, ONLY!(!) in the case of rape victims. Seriously, here's a newsflash: If you are having sex, unprotected on either side-male or female- there is no accident. You had sex and guess what? You COULD get pregnant. Funny how that works, huh? Duhhhhh. If you don't want a (or another) baby? Figure something out, pronto. Before you get horizontal and all aroused and mindless, hmmmm? Or just. don't. do. it.

I think I've mentioned it before. I worked with a newlywed here for a few years. Within 2 months she was pregnant and WHINING CONSTANTLY. I mean incessantly. But up until her pregnancy, she was regaling us all with how much sex they were having. ALL THE DAMN TIME. I'm serious. She would stroll in late to work and say "sorry I 'm late. We were having sex…. Again". (gee, thanks for sharing honey.) Then she kept saying after she was preggers, "How can I be pregnant? I don't want to be pregnant! It's too soon!!!!!! I'm not READY TO BE A MOM!" over and over again. Finally one day, I had heard enough of this and I kind of snapped and said "Look N, if you didn't want to be pregnant, then you should have kept your legs shut! You're pregnant now because you were doing it like rabbits and not using anything to prevent it and you are obviously fertile. Of COURSE YOU GOT PREGNANT!" She looked at me and said "yeah, huh?". Now granted, this was during one of my IVF trials that failed, and she knew it, but still! Jeez.

Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Now for my next comment, please remember that I have fertility issues, ok?

Regarding sterilization. Lots of people have children and then decide they don't want any more. I envy people like this, I really do. People that get pregnant practically by breathing on each other. Ok, perfectly understandable. They are married (or not. whatever) and decide enough is enough. The woman just doesn't want to carry any more children. Fine. I have seen it time and again. My question is this? Why is it they insist on the MAN getting fixed? I personally don't agree with this. This is why.

If a woman really doesn't want to carry any more children and would really like to be getting it on with no protection, then why not tie her tubes? In the long run, this is much easier should people change their minds later on. How so you may wonder? Believe me, I've thought this out. Pay attention now.

If a man ties his tubes, this really affects his sperm amount and quality and motility. Forever. Say later he and his wife change their minds and want to have one last child or he remarries? Can you say nightmare? There is not a shit lot the doctors can do with poor quality, sluggish low count sperm. Sure it only takes one, but….. (I have seen a couple I know here going through this. It's her first marriage, but late in life, and she has reproductive issues, on top of this, it is his SECOND marriage, he has children by the first wife, and he got fixed. Now he wants a child with this second wife, but they have a double problem now. His sperm count, which was amazing before, is almost non-existent now. Very low count, low motility, low quality. Just. LOW.) They keep trying, doing IVF, but his sperm count is really not helping things at all. He told Z that he really regrets his decision those years ago. It seemed like the right one at the time, but now? Not so much.

Lets put the tied tubes on the other foot, shall we?

If the woman tied her tubes, it would essentially make her reproductive tract like MINE! Ie: no babies unless you worked your ass off for it and paid through the teeth to get one. Lots of nookie and no baby to show for it. Isn't that basically what they want? Lots of sex with no consequences? La la la la la la la mmmmmm. A woman who is of childbearing age could always do IVF if she wanted another baby at a later time. That way the fallopian tubes don't come into play at all and are totally unnecessary. Plus, you would REALLY have to want another baby to go the whole IVF route anyway, and it would therefore be a very planned, very wanted pregnancy.

I'm speaking as a woman with fertility issues, but who has a child. So it is not bitter barrenness speaking so much.

So I say this: If a couple doesn't want any more children than the ones they have, the woman should seriously consider tying her tubes. (I'm probably going to get serious hate mail for this one, I swear!) It really is the easiest one to undo successfully…. Just in case, because… well, you never know what the future holds in store for you, now do you? Now doesn't that make sense?

Now. For those women who whine (within my earshot, anyway) about getting pregnant so easily "oh, my husband just LOOKS at me and I'm pregnant! I hate it" I have one last thing to say to them.

Shut. The. Hell. Up. You. Lucky. Goddamn. Cow. It is a blessing to be able to get pregnant and that you are be able to do so easily. There are lots and LOTS of women out there just like me who would LOVE to be able to get pregnant and who go through holy hell to just try. Mental and physical hell, over and over again.

Well Mare, how is that for a reply honey? God help anyone that wants to pick my brain, huh?

2/11/2005

Happy Birthday Wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is my Mama's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! I LOVVVVVVEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mama turns a number that she would kill me for announcing over the internet. I don't know why, since I honestly don't think she looks anywhere near her age. My mama is boo-tee-ful. Purdy. Get it?

Don't belive me? Men 20 years younger chase her down and try to date her. And her figure is still very nice too! And mama hasn't had that facelift she dreams about either! Her smile is like the sun on a dreary day and there is this lively twinkle in her eyes, even when she is sad and depressed.

I'm not just saying this cause she is my Mom, its the truth, all of it. She is a really special and loving lady who deserves to have a better life than the one she has had.

Anyway, Mama, poor thing, has a bad cold for her birthday, and that really sucks. I hope all of you will join me in singing Happy Birthday to her.

"Happy Birthday to you!Happy Birthday to You! Happy birthday Dear MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthdaaaaayyyyyy Tooooooo YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I love you Mama, more than words could ever say.But then you know that, don't you?

Love, forever and ever,
Friss

2/10/2005

Checking In

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. Did anyone miss me?

I've been working 12-13hr days without a lunch break at this temporary-possibly could become permanant- job I found.

I've been hired for a one-month contract. Whoop-dee-doo. Well, it's better than sitting home I suppose.

The bank is an excellent one, with fantastic benefits. The boss I"m working for is the CEO and he's really a nice fella. My coworkers are nice also. I wouldn't mind being made permanent at all. I wish he would make up his mind. Jeez.

IF working these long hours don't convince him to keep me, then I'm hoping THIS will:

1) The General Manager of the bank took my boss, the CEO, aside and told him frankly that he doesn't need to keep interviewing candidates when the best person for the job is already sitting outside his office. He then told him "Give Cyn a month or so till she learns all the in's and out's of the bank and how it works, and then you see!" And my boss apparently agreed with him.

2) Before this, my boss was asking the GM something and I was pacing outside the open door to tell him some things... one of which was relating to the question he was asking about the religious holiday tomorrow.... I finally butted in and said "But I have the notification from the government offices here attached to a memo I drafted for you to sign (before he got in and knew anything)! (the GM winked at me when my boss turned around and grinned at me in shock) and then he said "well, come on to my office then!" he was shaking his head all the way there and said "How do you do that?" Me: "What?" "him, shaking head and still grinning"That! Did you take a course?" "Me: "Eh? for What?" Him: How is it you know just what I want when I want it or before I know I want it? Did you learn this in a special course or something?" Me" No. No course. It's just the way I am." He smiled and said "well that's great!"

3) A guy named J from AMEX Dubai (I've been talking on the phone to him and emailing to arrange a meeting, etc. He started out all formal, but then by the 3rd email it was HI CYN! He's from Indiana, been in Dubai for 20 years) flew in for a meeting and was having a lunch meeting with the CEO, my boss, gave me a compliment to my boss. He forgot to tell me until later when he called me on his way to the airport tonight to say "Oh, I meant to tell you I recieved a great compliment on you today during my lunch meeting." Me: "Oh really That is nice!" CEO" Yes, J told me how great you are and how professional and curteous and helpful and then he asked me how long you'd been with the bank and I said, "Um, 10 days." to which he replied "WOW! NO WAY! She is really amazing. I would never belive she was new!"then

*blush* I was really flabbergasted. while I was getting over that... he said "That is exactly what I want, someone that also is really great and professional and curteous on the phone and with visitors too! Someone gracious like you!"

Me: (in my head) "Well, duh. HELLO! So how bout keeping me then???"

Does this dude need a lightening bolt from the heavens to strike him to wake up? Good Lord.

So, in case you were all wondring what cave I'd wandered off to, now you know.

OH, and by the way? Here's an Inquisition question answer for you!

The Confession

I had one question this week. My punishment for not posting too much, huh? *pout*

My buddy Cheryl b still loves me, and so asked:

What's your favorite flower and what makes it your fave? Lame, I know, but I really need a nap.

My favorite flowers are the Iris. (I think that was some real poor grammar right there, but I'm too tired to give a damn right now.) Any color of Iris. The deep purple blue or the bright purple or even the paler lavender colored ones. I love them with their yellow centers. They are tall and graceful and so pretty, even though they really don't smell.

I love Irises and fuschia pink or bright yellow roses. Give me those flowers (together! WHOOT!) and I'm a happy girl. I love those colored roses even more than red roses. I prefer them actually. I appreciate red roses for their beauty, but they don't get me all excited if you know what I mean.

I'm weird I guess. But that's me.

Hopefully next week will be better for all of us!


2/06/2005

SURPRISE!!!

Y'all will never guess what's up!! Then again, maybe you will.

Got a nice little surprise tonight. Miss Scarlett started giving birth. In the litter box. Z found her with the kitten squalling and hanging out. I had NO IDEA she was due now. Z totally miscalculated her due date.

Oh allright. He convinced me I was wrong. I figured she was about a week or two apart from Angel. Does anyone remember that? Well anyhooo... Miss Scarlett? Wanna see how much she loves her Mama (Me)? She filled my order.

This kitten is RED. Yes. RED. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I've been wanting a red for 15 years. Yaaah. Whhooooooootttttt. Now? Lets hope it survives. (please GOD)

My girls were apparently listening to my orders! Yaay. I gave them a few options. Angel's little BOY looks like he is going to be a Blue-point Himalayan. Perhaps like this.

I'm willing to take nice suggestions for names. I wanted Lancelot (he's such a big little man), Arianna wanted Arthur (ie: King Arthur) and Z? He said HORRIBLE things like: Batman, Blueballs, etc....

HELP! We are at a loss. Bring em, on dear readers.

Also? My 'boss' the temp one, today said "yeah, while talking to my wife, she said "So when are you going to get an assistant, anyway?" and I said "Oh! I got this really nice young American girl."

Me: Gape mouthed in shock.......

He stares at me and I say finally, with a HUGE GRIN! "THANK YOU! You just made my, week...no, Month, no YEAR!" He gave me the same questioning look but with a smile... and I said "Young? American Girl? BLESS YOU!" and then...... then? I giggled.

I never giggle. Ok, well, I rarely giggle.

Heh. He called me YOUNG. He is exactly 10 years and 4 days older than me. BLESS HIM.

Also? I have an interview at another bank tomorrow afternoon.... 2 floors down from where I'm working in the same building.

When it rains, it pours!