You Want Me To Do WHAT?

Get your minds out of the gutter! It would seem that I must go and Google (God BLESS Google!) "Banana Cream Pie".

We went to Z's sister's house this evening. He wandered to the kitchen and snooped in her fridge for some juice to drink. When we got home, he looked at me and said "When I went in the fridge for the drink? I saw a big Banana Cream pie. It looked SOOOOOOOOOOOO good. Think you can make one?"

My first response was "If you wanted a piece of pie so bad, why didn't you just ask her for one? She's your sister!" He said" If she wanted to give one, she would offer, all of us, so, I'm not gonna ask.". He said she used to be generous, but now? No. (I can remember a time when she used to shove food and sweets down our respective gullets) He's right. You know what I said to that don't you?

"Sure I'll make you a Banana Cream Pie. I've never done it before, but I'll give it my best shot!"

So, here I sit, thinking... "Oh hell. I've never made a Banana Cream Pie before." My homemade crust still needs........ well, it isn't the best. Hopefully SOMEONE will have some Pillsbury shortbread crust in one of the grocerey stores. I'm picky about crust, and if it's bad, it ruins the whole pie.

Does anyone have some Sekrit Family Recipie they are willing to share with me? Cause frankly? I'm pissed that he didn't feel comfortable in his sisters house to just TAKE a damn piece for himself and woof it down, so now?

Now I'm gonna have to make me some Banana Cream Pie, dammit. (My PMS is SO loving all these sweets this week!)

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *scurries to Google*

PS: Don't forget to get your questions in for this weeks Inquisition.
Scarlett's Kitchen

I've been a quiet little puss, now haven't I? I have a damn good reason people!

I've got a pinched nerve or some such (that damn tall-ass John Taylor!I still say it was worth it, though.) in my left shoulder. Ok, well, the pain is in the shoulder and decided to include most of the whole arm. There isn't much feeling, other than a sore pain. Plus?

(Male Readers: WARNING! Female stuff about to be discussed semi-vaguely! Read on at your own risk!)

Z was staring at me after Iftar (breaking of the fast) doubled over on the sofa in pain. I think, well, it feels like my damn ovarian cysts are acting up, the asshats. The pain lasts for about, oh, 4-5 minutes at a time. It comes and goes but it is really, REALLY severe. Imagine someone sticks a SCIMITAR (curved thick bladed sword) in your abdomen and turns it right, then left, then clockwise again. For 4-5 minutes. Got that visual? Good. Welcome to my world. PCOS is a real and complete pain in the ass. And abdomen. And ovaries, and back, and... and... and.... And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Hell, not even on Monster for that matter!

Now, I am NOT a baby when it comes to pain. I actually have quite a high threshold. Proof: I miscarried & haemoragged for almost 2 months. The tearing pains of the miscarriage where horrible and I WENT TO WORK EVERY DAY TEACHING Pre-SCHOOLERS during this. (I didn't know I was pregnant at the time, I just figured it was a particulary bad monthly bleed is all.) I can take a lot of pain before I even make the slightest whimper. So for me to be doubled over on the sofa tonight in pain is a rarity. Z was staring at me not knowing what to do. Not that he could do much.

Now you know why I've been all hush lately.

OK MEN! It's safe to read now!

I hope I'm better in the morning, cause I'm in the mood to make my famous blueberry muffins. (yummmmmmmm! If I do say so myself!) My pastries and deserts are extra special cause they are baked with LOVE, y'all! They are big and fat and I don't make them in muffin tins. I make them in mini-bundt pans. SO Adorable! (They are the size of the biggest muffins you've ever seen, but OH-so -pretty!) I will have to take some to my friend Aseel. Cause she BEGS me for them.

Oh well, even if my arm is still a dud, I'll have Ari help me out. She loves baking. (If I can manage to keep her and a spare spatula out of the batter!)

Blueberry muffins anyone??????


A Little Happy Happy

Browzing on my usual newsource on the inet (you know, CNN) I came an Entertainment article that made me smile SOOOOO big and I couldn't click fast enough on it.

Yes, I just love finding articles on this subject.

I am out of my mind happy that MY BOYS new album is out. My FIVE boys. The ORIGINAL 5 members of Duran Duran! I'm so happy I could even kiss that little shit Andy, and he sometimes gets on my nerves but makes me laugh at the same time. WOOOOOO. Roger is back. Yaaaaaaaay. No one drums like Roger T. Nobody. I love me some John, cause when I met him? And took a photo? He put his arm around my waist, and I put mine, stupidly on his shoulder, and pulled my shoulder out of whack, but damn, it was worth it. Come to think of it, Nick and John BOTH had their arms around my waist. (I'm gonna go have nice flashbacks now, don't mind me! )

The new album is out everywhere BUT here where I am. Dammit. I've been stalking my usual music shops, but nada.

So, I will pout and pout some more until I get my new Duran Duran CD (entitled Astronaut) and have to be happy for catching the video on the various music channels. (Thank GOD for Satellite TV!!)


Confession Pt. 2

Ah, it’s another Tuesday and that means……… ANSWERS to The Inquisition! I had 3, count em THREE big fat questions (Thank you Cheryl b., Mahmood, and Carrie Jo!) So, without further ado, here are your answers my dears!

Cheryl b. asked me: “What is your secret fetish?” (and no, not about shoes she says!)

Well darlin, for a minute there, I thought you were asking me fetish in the traditional sense and boy was I thinking “Which one should I choose?”, but then you mentioned the shoes…. So, I thought we were taking the safe route perhaps.

Since you said I may NOT mention my little shoe fetish (which you know goes hand in hand with my purse/handbag fetish) I will share two of them with you.

One is jewelry. I can’t physically pass a jewelery store window without inspecting what’s on offer. I love jewelery. I’m always wearing it, too.

Second, and one in which I indulge in quite often? Makeup. There is no such thing as having too much makeup. I love it LOADS. I have had this fascination with makeup since I was a very little thing and it has only gotten worse.

I was doing makeup professionally up until I moved here. I’ve done it every now and then since I’ve moved here, but not like I was in the States. I have a post almost prepared for my blog explaining my whole makeup obsession.

My fantasy is for someone to let me loose in a Sephora that is attached to a MAC store with an open limit Platinum Card and let my buy to my heart’s content. (Did I mention that I wouldn’t have to pay the Plat Card bill? No? Well, I wouldn’t!)

Cheryl b did you mean the other kind of fetish? Well then, that would invlove a silk scarf blindfold. (That’ll teach you to be more specific!) heh.

Mahmood hit me with a difficult one! He asked: “What do you absolutely hate about Bahrain? One, only One!” I do like Bahrain, but, since Mahmood lives in Bahrain, he’s going to get my detailed answer.

Ok Mahmood! Only ONE? Other than the weather July thru October including the crap humidity that makes me the sickest I’ve ever been in my entire LIFE??(Eeeewwwwww)

Hmmmmmm. This one really got me thinking. I have to choose the infrastructure. The stupidly planned infrastructure that doesn’t seem to be put into place with any bit of thought for the future. Then, when they realize that its totally ineffective for the amount of traffic in the country that is increasing in leaps and bounds? rip up the old, useless and re-do, over and over and over again. Do it right the first time, jeeez! What they have re-done for the umpteenth time at Seef District? It is still WRONG. It’s ok for right now, but for, in say, 2-3 years when that other 50-something story building goes up and all the rest of the office buildings that are planned? It will be the mini-me of the Diplomatic Area, new flyovers or not. RE DO roads AGAIN!

I’d like to slap around the genuis that did the planning on the Diplomatic Area too.(Sorry if that was a relative of yours, pal, but come on, it’s bad and you know it!) (Parking? HAH! What’s that?)Teeny one way streets that people drive 2 directions down anyway?The Sitra Bridge is a nightmare most times of day. *shudder*. They’ve been talking about making it bigger for how many years now?? I will say that the new highways are nice though. My infrastructure rant includes lack of proper drainage for when it actually rains and everywhere is flooded.

My sweetie Carrie Jo inquired: “ What was your favorite childhood stuffed animal or blankie and do you still have it?”

Okeedokee Carrie Jo, When I was very little I had a few fave stuffed animals. I had a little red weiner dog wearing a yellow vest and a green hat that for some stupid reason I named Toby after my Nana’s dog Toby that hated everyone but my Nana and my Dad and always tried to take a piece out of my ass. I was terrified of that little shit dog. But my Toby always took naps with me. Both Toby’s have gone to their respective Heavens. (He could only be resewn so much) I also had a stuffed Panda Bear that I called Ling Ling that I got shortly after the real Ling Ling was sent to the US from China and my obsession and unabiding love of panda bears began. The original Ling Ling (mine) was HUGE, twice my size. Ling Ling died from too much of my loving also when I was about 4 or 5. I was really upset when it went to go live at the Salvation Army. I accused my mom of murdering it if I remember correctly.

The best thing to me was my first babydoll, Cindy. I got her when I was a little over 1yrs old. I still have her. (You wouldn’t belive she is 32 to look at her!) She has gone everywhere with me. That babydoll is better traveled than some people.


Well, here I sit again, rummaging around on cnn.com (as usual!) and I happen upon yet another enthralling article….

‘Esquire Magazine Names Sexiest Woman’

Guess who it is? The title of this post should give you a big hint, really. No 1 is……………………. *drumroll*

Angelina Jolie. Big shocker there. (Not!) Esquire boys???? DUHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

These dorks at Esquire had to hold a POLL to figure this out! In all honesty, they could have just asked me. I would have been happy to tell them! Hell, I think she is PERFECT, elegant and gorgeous, if a little bit freaky. Ok, a lot freaky. I could stare at her for HOURS and I’m so very straight. I told Z last night as a matter of fact, “Hell, if there was someone to make me go lesbian, it would be Angelina!” He laughed and said “I don’t blame you.

Hallie Berry (aka “I’m a woman of color, but I neglected to mention that my mama is white as homogenized milk y’all!) was no 2. Did ANYONE see Ms Hallie in Monsters Ball? The part she won the OSCAR for? Good Lord. I can’t look at her the same anymore. Nope. Not after those s*x scenes with BillyBob (Ex-hubby of No 1). I was staring in open mouthed shock during the whole thing and all I could say to Z was….. “Gee, I’m so happy she won an Oscar for…. this!!”. Man, takes the term “cat in heat” to a whole another level. Maybe I’m blind, but I didn’t see ANY body patch on either of em in that love scene. Dayum.

Some dorks managed to get Britney Spears Federline in at no 3. Ewwwwww. She was cute, but now? She’s just po white trash. (Filthy rich, yes, but still po’) Don’t believe me? Check out SNARKYWOOD! (It is FANFUC*INGTABULOUS) I highly recommend this site!


On another note… keep those questions coming! Cheryl b, as usual, has made me delve deep into my psyche (or something). You all still have some time to get your question in.

Cat, ARE YOU ON YOUR FAMOUS 12-hour shift? Ugh. Yes, you get a tardy slip. Get your question in when you can.

Answers tomorrow.


The Inquisition – Pt 2

Yes my lovelies, it’s that time of the week again. Time to ask me whatever your little hearts desire.

Sorry I didn’t get this posted earlier, but you see, I had a really, REALLY bad migraine. There was no way in HELL I was going to even attempt to look at the computer screen. Nuh-uh. Anyhooo, I am properly medicated now, (I think) so the pickaxe to the brain stabbing pain is under control and only a painfully sore noggin remains. Lets hope the pain med doesn’t wear off too soon, hmmm? Ouchy. Who’s gonna kiss my poor head and make it feel better? Anyone? Bueller?……Anyone?… Bueller?……… Anyone??????? *sigh*

A quickie reminder: Each of you may ask me one question, whatever you like. Seriously. Deadline: 12:01am, Tuesday, Pacific Time. Answers will follow later that day.

Come on y’all, impress me! You know you are just itching to ask me something! OOoh Boy! I can't wait to see the questions this week!