You KNOW You Want It! - WEEK 25

Well, well, well. I must say that I have been oh-so-pleasantly surprised by the new commenters here at Scarlett's Haven in the past week or so. Whether you realized it or not, you really made my day, so thank you! And believe you me, this week? I really needed it!

Before I get right into the Q&A session this week, one of you was sort of wondering if I had given in to the EXTREMELY strong urge to smack MIL around and wondering if I had managed to straighten Z out yet. I only have this to say:

She yet lives, un-molested by me, but HEY! The week is young! (just joking) Her ass IS on fire thinking that we took Shony to the movies yesterday, because she was screaming and INSISTING that she saw her in the back of the car with Arianna when we left, but I frankly find it hilarious. Why? Because Shony left for mass about 2 hours earlier. What a freak, huh?

Secondly, Z? Straightened out? Believe me honey, if he isn't straightened out after all my efforts, all my giving, understanding, and sacrificing in the past 16 years of our relationship, it can't be done. And sadly, I think the only time he might ever realize exactly what he has, and make any kind of effort, it will be way too late in the 'game', so to speak. Although it is nice to know that we can still snow some people over in public and put on a good show.

We did just that the other night, during my margarita binge (oopsy, did I neglect to mention that? Perhaps I was just a weeeee bit too tipsy to regale you with the stories. I distinctly remember there were a number of incidents that I thought – OH YEAH! I'm BLOGGING THAT, Yesireeeebob! Uh-huh!!!, but hell if I can remember any of them now. Truly, there was some really funny stuff and comments going on that night that had nothing to do with the fact that I was being slipped triple margaritas when I specifically recall asking for singles. Really!

Again I was sitting near the devastatingly, drop-your-panties-in-a-heap-on-the-floor-in-a-nanosecond GORGEOUS and SEXY half Scottish and half Persian (best of both, really) 6'4, IDENTICAL twins as the last birthday party I attended, but fortunately for me and my concentration, I didn't have BOTH of em sitting directly across from me this time. Why? Because last time, they were both sitting across from me, directly across from me, and, well, I, who happens to be the proud owner of fine table manners? Well, I was clanging my fork and knife and being generally clumsy in ways that I never am that I was all to happy to let some people blame on the WUSSY rum and coke I was consuming. I mean really! Rum and coke do that to me? Aw HELL NO! And then, while I was slightly mesmerized by the sexy smile and twinkle in their eyes, because, well, I'm not blind OR dead (and sitting next to Mr. Silent and obnoxious) and those deep yummy baritone voices… much later that evening, after lots and lots of conversation, because I am a nice person to sit next to-or across from- at a dinner party, I realized something. Their voice, even their way of speaking? Is exactly like my brother Joey. And that? Freaked me out. Although my brothers are pretty hot in their own right.

Ok, I'll behave now and cut to my answers.

Bre asked:

Have you ever thought of being a teacher again? What about being one in the U.S? Keeping in mind all the crap that has gone on in the past few years.

Well Bre, I did actually enjoy my year-long stint as a kindergarten teacher, I must admit. I'm not insane; it's just that I really do love kids that much. Unfortunately, it is bad for my health, a number of doctors have advised me against it, so I will never teach again.

I had a weak immune system to begin with after having a bout of Mono when I was 12 that took forever (read: six months) to get over. But the year I was teaching, 98-99, is when I came down with an almost lethal (literally) cocktail of illnesses: severe infection of my larynx and pharynx that made me lose my voice for almost 4 months, severe bronchitis and upper-respiratory infection that ended up developing into walking pneumonia and then full-blown pneumonia AND highly contagious mononucleosis along with a few other viruses - all at the same time. Which led to my two month long miscarriage of the miracle pregnancy baby I had no idea I was carrying- and the subsequent hemorrhaging that also almost killed me.

That second bout with Mono, which I was told was a particularly difficult strain to treat and get rid of, pretty much mutilated my already-weak immune system. I think we are all willing to admit that a schoolroom is chock-full of cooties, no matter how much Lysol and disinfectant you use.

I didn't notice the pregnancy symptoms because the infections had me so weak, dizzy, and heavily vomiting (ie: similar to my usual pregnancy symptoms) that I didn't realize it. Why in the HELL would I even think I was pregnant anyway? I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome-which is now Grade 4. That means that the fact that I somehow ended up pregnant was a miracle. Also, it shows you just how horny Z used to be if he was able to get any when I was THAT sick. Ah… memories. *sniff*. Also, because of the PCOS, I tend to have horribly painful, heavy periods (I can just hear all the male readers going "EWWW") when I DO have one- it can go for months without coming-and once in a while, I have been known to bleed heavily for at least a month. But this time around was horrible, as I'm sure you can imagine. Now picture this: I was working every day while miscarrying. I still remember leaving my classroom with my helper to go to the bathroom and clean up, and when I went down the hall, I had to lean-full body- against the wall to stay upright and shuffle to the toilet. I used all my energy in class, but when I was out of that door, I allowed myself to give in to the hell my body was in. As I've said in an earlier post a while back, little did I know I was bleeding to death. Literally.

Even if I didn't have a weak immune system, for me to teach in the US, I would have to be properly educated and certified, which I'm not. Here I was just hired by Z's Auntie and her pervert husband (now that is another story altogether) because they have an American curriculum school, and they wanted the little ones to get that good American accent. *snap snap* I was just here a few months and desperate for work, so I took it. Great hours, decent pay, 3 months off a year. Why not? Ok, even if I was certified? Are you joking? The kids in the US take weapons and worse shit to school now. Imagine I gave some kid a bad and well-deserved grade and he/she came the next day for vengeance? Um, no thanks. I heard about this four months pregnant teacher that gave a girl an F on an exam and she came back to school the next day with a hammer and bashed the teachers' skull in…. repeatedly in. front. Of. The. Class. *shudder, gag* And as far as those two little delinquents in Ohio are concerned, I would probably have beaten BOTH their asses but good, (wrong tho it may be to smack a student.) called the cops, AND probably given a few smacks to the stupid ass principal too. What an ASSWIPE.

But now I realize you probably knew all of that since you've been marathon blogging reading my archives lately, now don't you? Well, hell.

Cheryl b asked:

Will you let Ari get tattoos/piercings before she is 18? Would she even want them?

Are you kidding? I won't even cut much of her hair off!! (heh) Well, now that's not true. I did take her for her FIRST EVER real haircut at the beginning of the school year and take about a forearm's length off, which took it from somewhere between her hips and knees up to just above waist-length, so….

But honestly, I pierced her ears at about 8 months old, and now, I have to force her to wear earrings so the holes won't close. I usually win this 'discussion' every few months or so. Also, she is a big ole wimp, which is just fine by me, meaning I don't see her garnering up the courage to even consider it, and they don't do that here, anyway.

She isn't particularly fond of tattoos either. A couple of her older cousins have them,-one of which is her son's name done in a beautiful vivid cobalt blue in the most gorgeous Arabic calligraphy in the shape of a teardrop the size of a silver dollar on her back right shoulder blade. But Arianna is much like me in that she thinks of it as art and sees the beauty in it, but doesn't necessarily want to have it done.

She gets her "body art" fix by doing henna, which is fine, and I like to do it too. It's the temporary part of it that I like, and I think that's what appeals to her as well. One of these days I'll get some henna done, take a pic and post it on my blog for all of you to goggle over.

Annie b, a new commenter here at my little Haven asked:

What's going on with Z's job? Would he consider looking back in the States again?

First of all, Hi ANNIE B!!!! Welcome.

Ahem, now then. As further proof of how busy I've been lately, It appears that I neglected to tell you that Z's old job here in Bahrain snapped him back up around mid-April. I gave him a shitload of advice before he went back and it appears that to some extent at least, for once in his life, he is actually following my well-meaning comments.

All of the Directors of the company are thrilled he is back because, even though he is now a manager of his former department, still, his old clients that they lost when he left are now slowly coming back and sales are WAAAY up from this time last year (when he wasn't working for them). The other day he told me "XYZ told me that sales are up $37,000 over May last year, heh." And I said unthinkingly "Oh, is that all?" and when he looked at me like I slapped him, I replied "Well, it's just that for you, that's not much for this time of year, the beginning of high-season. Your sales are usually at least 100,000 or more." To which his face relaxed and he said "that's because I haven't told all of my old customers I'm back yet. I'm working on it."

Smart ass. All I can say is its too bad the guy doesn't make commission. And no, he isn't considering going back to the US any time soon as far as I'm aware. At least not until Ari is ready for college maybe, from what I know.

But then again, what the hell DO I know where his thoughts are concerned?

Carrie Jo asked this:

It's actually for Ari, but you can answer for her) What does Ari want to be when she grows up?

Well honey, last I heard, she wants to be a scientist or in the medical profession somehow. Of course, she also said she wanted to be an actress too, and frankly, I think she has quite a strong natural acting ability. She loathes school, although she does well in it with a minimum (forced) effort. She is a really smart girl, and could probably do whatever she sets her mind to, if she is willing to find the get up and go to do it. Right now her teachers bash their heads because "She is so highly intelligent, but stubborn and obstinate. If she doesn't do something perfect the first time, she gets angry and frustrated and tosses down her pen. Hence, lazy tendencies."

Sigh. She gets pretty much straight B's, with minimal – again- effort, and that with me standing on her head to study, pushing and forcing her to actually whip out the books- and she could be a straight A student if she was so inclined.


Annnnnnd that just about wraps up this week's Inquisition Confession. Thank you all for your questions.

Ta-ta my lovelies!
A Question

Does it make me a bad fur Mama if I let Gypsy drink the dregs of my hot tea w/milk?

Granted she is only 2 3/4 months old, but she already had her face in my teacup before I realized what she was up to, and she seemed to be enjoying herself so much, I let her finish. It's not as if I was going to drink any after that!

She's such a naughty, adorable little shit that I couldn't help it. With all that snow white fur and those big blue eyes in that innocent expression, I didn't have the heart to stop her.

Z is still arguing with me over the name I've given her, but I'll put it up to y'all, ok? She is absolutely gorgeous, perfect as perfect and adorable as a pedigree persian kitten can be, excecpt: behind that pretty fluffy coat, huge innocent looking blue eyes, chubby cobby body, schmoshy face and loving soul? Is a wild-tempered, naughty thing who will give you kisses with one breath and chew the hell out of your hand in the next and prefers to play rough and beat the crap out of Garfield and Bandit who are more than twice her size and 9 times out of 10 will instigate everything rather than play with, say, her litter- brother.

Personally, I think it's an absolutely perfect name for the shameless hussy!

PS: Keep on the lookout! Inquisition answers are coming shortly!! I promise!!!


My New Toy

For anyone that truly knows me, they will know that sometimes even the smallest, or perhaps strangest thing makes me really happy.

Another little thing about me. Ever since I was a little girl, I've been obsessed with buttons and electronic gadgets. I was beginning to type properly by age 7. We are talking hitting the right keys with the proper fingers. (Thanks Daddy!) and I've always been pretty much mechanically inclined. (again, props to Daddy). He and I used to bum around car junkyards for the hell of it. Give me a screwdriver and some pliers and I was a happy thing, prying all sorts of stuff from those cars..right after I had made fast friends with the guard dog.

But I digress... sort of.

So today? Today I got a new toy at work. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!! Now you are all going to think I'm weird, probably. My new toy is......................

A Xerox Color photocopier machine.

Oh, but it is so much more than that, it can fax, is a printer (with all SORTS of options for printing....yaaay) a scanner, you can even email from it!

I don't know what I like more about it; all the gadgets and options it has, that it will make my life so much easier, is so much more cost efficent for my department, which will look great at year end review time,or the fact that I finagled the price down from US$16,000.00 to US$9,283.75 (plus a freeeeee desk color printer thrown in to boot!). This is just like the three Persian carpets I purchased for the bank's Executive floor recently. (read: area where I am. Hey! First impressions count! Must maintain an elegant standard.) By the time I was done with the price, it was basically buy one with a US$ 900.00 discount , get two free. I'm serious.

I'm good, huh?

It is so much fun! Plus? My boss loves it! The copier is probably his favorite. I don't know which part made me happiest.

Then again, it could be just the fact that it soothed my shopping itch by dropping that much cash that doesn't belong to me.

Yeah, probably.


Scarlett's Pet Peeve

You know something? This enquiring mind wants to know, so I just have to ask my fellow women out there in the blogsphere because frankly, I'm both irritated and amazed.

Ladies of the world, how can you possibly not take the literally 3 seconds it will need to take the spare role of toilet paper into the stall for the next poor, unspecting female you WORK WITH, if you know damn well that you've just used the last of the bit on the roll? Really now. How in the hell would you feel if it were you stranded on the toilet seat?

I mean COME ON! We are all in this together. We have to wipe. We are not lucky like men who not only get to pee standing up but also just have to shake it a few times and they are good to go. Oh no, not us. Paper. We need it. I mean, thankfully they have that rinser thingiemajiggy that is a lot like the rinser dealie-bob in your kitchen sink, but STILL! It isn't as if I have the time to drip dry or anything, because as is, and you ALL KNOW IT, I barely have time to pee as is.

So as I'm sure you all have deduced by now, I was sort of caught off guard. SO there I sat, kind of stranded knowing, just KNOWING there is a big ass pile of spares out in the bathroom near the sink. Ummm-hmmm and I was not the least happy about it. I don't ask anything that I wouldn't do myself. I always take the time to put TWO for the other ladies that use the bathroom when I use the last of the roll. Hrumph! Thing is, I can pretty much narrow down my list of who it could be. Because out of the 40-odd staff on my floor, about 3 are ladies besides me.

This amazes me. And for those of you out there chuckling to yourselves about this, just remember one teensy thing:

It can happen to you my friend, and belive me, it will.

PS: Questions people, questions. And Carrie Jo honey? Um, can I have another one? I answered this one two weeks back I think. *ducks head*



Forgive me. I'm channeling Macaulay Culkin today…for most of the day.

See, my assistant has moved on to greener pastures rather suddenly and quite unexpectedly, and while I wish her the very best of luck in her new position, that doesn't stop the fact that I am….

SO. VERY.screwed. Particularly today. Why? Because the other assistant in the office was out today, meaning I was all alone. So naturally it was busier than usual. My desk looked like an avalanche hit, and that is just NOT the way I work. I like tidy piles at least, but none of that today. Nuh-uh! The phones alone had me wanting to cry and everything of course was URGENT. My boss also has selective memory. He makes appointments and tells people to come see him and then when they show up (which I know nothing about because why on earth would he bother to put it on his schedule??) he blames me for making appointments without permission and YOU try telling him as politely as possible that HE told them on the phone to show up!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *yanks fistfuls of hair*. Can you just imagine the strange looks I get from the people when I tell them, "He wasn't expecting you and they say "But he said to come!??"? Arugh.

Here is another strange example. He has been trying to set up an appointment with a particular ambassador and vice versa. He just got through telling me on Thursday how much he wants me to get this appointment arranged. So this morning I finally got an appointment confirmed for tomorrow morning… when the morning was completely open on his planner. So what happens when I tell him on he phone all triumphantly that I secured the coveted appointment? He freaked about how busy he is this week, and he has no time for these kind of things blah blah blah. This as I'm looking at his pretty much empty schedule this week on the monitor in front of me, completely puzzled.

Oh well, he is a really nice guy though. I just could not get over the amount of work today is all.

Of course I managed, BUT…. I'm even more exhausted than usual too.

Maybe because I slept like hell last night tossing and turning incessantly, the sound of my own cries waking me up repeatedly. I was in a constant half awake half asleep state for most of the night and early morning hours. I guess it's a damn good thing I can't remember what I was dreaming, now isn't it?

I think I'm going to hit the hay early tonight. I just have one or two more things to impart to you all.

1) I'm actually going to ask you early (read: NOW PEOPLE) for Inquisition questions this week, and,
2) Garfield, my apparently highly overs*xed 4 month old bi/gay/WTF?? KITTEN was at it again humping on his… half brother Bandit. Z is so freaked out about it that he told me to "snip his nuts if you wanna keep his freaky ass". Well! This from the man with 2 gay brothers? (one of which is now his sister. HELLOOOOO????) I kinda feel sorry for the vet. These are some seriously HEWGE balls on this cat. Much like that hamster I spoke of oh so long ago. WHAAAAT? You can't help but see his equipment, even with all that fur. He likes to sit like a person on his ass with his legs out in front of him. It's kind of hard to miss, you realize?

Well, I'm off to get some beauty sleep, my lovelies. I'm burnt OUT today. Now don't forget to get your quesitons in!! I'll be waiting.