1/27/2005

La La

I thought you all might find this mildy amusing. God knows my daughter does.

God Bless Ashlee Simpson's little lip-synching heart. I have her new single "La La" stuck in my head. It is not only stuck in my head.. I am singing it.... out loud. Incessantly. No lip synching for me, oh no! Much to the amusement of my husband and daughter. Am I singing only the chorus "You make me want to La La..."? Aw Hell no. Of course not! This is ME here people! Its more along the lines of....

"You make me want to La La, in the kitchen on the floor, I'll be your French Maid, when I greet you at the door, I'm like an alley cat, drink the milk up I want more... you make me wanna.... you make me wanna..... Scream.".

Heh.

Yeah darlings, ALL that I sing, over and over again... out loud.... and more of it too. And it DOES. NOT. STOP. And sometimes? I dance a bit too. My life in musical form. Who ever said musicals are not realistic versions of life? That no one goes through life actually breaking in to song and dance when the mood hits them? I mean, Catrina, come on girl and back me up here... I distinctly remember SEVERAL of us singing and dancing in the back at the restaurant we worked at when I was in college. For the hell of it and because we damn well felt like it. So yeah, it does really happen in real life.

So 'They', whomever they might be,(the ones that said that crapola about musicals) were obviously high on something because it is so very obviously not true. I'd like to walk right up to them and say......

"You make me wanna LA LA in the kitchen on the floor......."

1/26/2005

Inquisition Confession – Week 15

Well my darling blog readers, welcome to another Inquisition week and the answers you seek to the questions that burn your collective brains to a crisp. You've all been visiting over and over to see if I posted the answers, didn't you? Waiting with baited breath so to speak, eh?

Okay, maybe not, but let me have a happy thought, hmmm? I could use all the happy thoughts I can get, you know?

It would seem that my darling and beautiful daughter Arianna created a monster this week with most of the questions as most of them are animation/cartoon related save one. That is fine by me! It turns out that Ari's simple statement/question/suggestion/Direct ORDER about me letting y'all know my favorite Disney Princess turned into a poll or meme of sorts. That's ALL good. I like it! I like it. I get to know a little something about you all while I spill my guts.

Well, on to the good stuff.

Cheryl b. asked me:

I'm going to guess Cinderella (evil stepmother-evil MIL, it's all the same). Tell Ari that my fave is Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Mark just got me a Belle porcelain doll dressed like a ballerina. I'm so not a girly girl but I love me some Disney princesses.

Question time! What animated character do you find attractive?.

Weeeel sugar, the animated character I find most attractive is…:

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. He is hot. Until he opens his mouth, that is. He just needs a personality transplant. But that guy is good eye candy. Gorgeous. The Beast, when he becomes human is pretty cute too, but that Gaston? Num num.

Carrie Jo, in keeping with the animation theme asked:

What is your all-time favorite cartoon character and why?


I love me some Bugs Bunny. I adore Bugs Bunny. I really REALLY do. Bugs is so damn cute, awfully smart, sarcastic as shit, and is absolutely adorable. I also love it when Bugs dresses up in drag, especially as Carmen Miranda. It cracks my ass up. Yes, Bugs is a renaissance bunny!!

Grown woman that I am, and having seen every single Bugs Bunny episode evah countless times, I will STILL sit down and watch that scrrewy wabbit and laugh my tail off.

Mare asked me:

Do you prefer pantyhose, thigh highs, knee highs, or garter belts and stockings?

oh and if we're taking a poll, my favorite Disney Princess is Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty. I love that movie. Unfortunately all her merchandise has her in a pink dress and I'm of the "make it blue" persuasion.

Well, practically speaking, I usually use pantyhose but, on special occasions have been known to use garter belts and stockings. But for everyday?? Pantyhose.

I love thigh highs, but, they are a bit uncomfortable because I have quite curvy/ muscular thighs from all those years of dance classes. It's that grippy thing I think on the insides. My skin is pretty sensitive too, so that grippy stuff doesn’t' go over too well.

A little sekrit? I absolutely adore black seamed stockings or hose. Love em.

A little funny fact: I heard once about a study that was done on female drivers that wear pantyhose vs. ladies that wear garter belts and stockings. Interestingly enough, the garter belt/stocking wearers were better drivers.

I wonder what MAN thought up THAT study?? Hahaha.

Now, for my favorite Disney Princess… Cheryl B guessed it. My favorite STORY is Cinderella. Ever since I was a little thing I loved that story. Princess Aurora is my second favorite Princess. (Ari's favorite is Aurora also like Mare "Make it Blue" persuasion as am I.) Our favorite scene is the war of the wands over what color to make the dress. It's a crack up. My MIL laughs just like Maleficent, by the way! Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa.

For the record… the Princess that gets on my LAST DAMN NERVE is Snow White. The Dwarves, I love, but Snow White? Can you say nails on chalkboard? Ari (who is reading over my shoulder as I type)said that her Grandmonster looks suspiciously like the person in Snow White that offers her the poisoned apple.

Hey! I didn't say it, I'm just repeating!!

Thank you ladies that asked me questions this week. Until my next post, I bid you all farewell!

The End

1/25/2005

Three Strikes...

When you read the title of this post, I bet you thought baseball. Well, I'm NOT going to talk about baseball. It has nothing to do with baseball in fact and more to do with a type of Karma. (since I refuse to say clumsiness!)

See, the weekend has been particularly bountiful in the curses hurled at my head by you-know-who. (How about we call her Voldemort? Haha. You Harry Potter fans will get a kick out of that, I bet!) I have not the slightest idea why the upsurge in vehment curses, but an upsurge there was. In fact, the curses and screaming and all within feet of me, at me, made me almost come []this close to losing my temper. (that would be U-G-L-Y) Somehow I managed to hold on to it. I know that if I flipped my lid, it would be a major incident with EVERYONE coming down on my ass and I frankly wasn't in the mood for it. (ok, them)

Tonight a number of things happened to me in a very short amount of time.

First thing: I went into the Kitchen with the intention to get something from the pantry. I walk up to the closed double door of the pantry, right hand on doorknob, left hand in center of doors to push open and BANG, I push the door open and it shuts on the pad of my left hand ring finger pinching the hell out of it. Well, I've gotten my finger pinched in any number of ways and I didn't think I'd done anything to it. In the second it took me to pull my hand back and flip it over for a look, there was blood POURING FROM IT IN BIG FAT RED DROPS. We are talking instant gusher. It hurt(s) like a sonofabitch too. Still. Off I run to wash it clean and patch myself up with a Band-aid and some Neosporin ointment. It bled for a while and still hurts like hell.

Please forgive any screwed up spelling on this post, as it hurts to type.

Second thing: decide to sit on the sofa with a nice cup of tea and my polar fleece blanket and watch some TV with the hubby. Only, he is in the shower. Never mind that. I brought our tea out and placed it on the cofffe table. I thought I'd sit and do some needlework while I waited for him to finish and so, as I stood, I took my blanket in hand and turned to sit down. Somehow a corner of my EXTREMELY lightweight blanket knocked over my FULL teacup ON TO THE FLOOR, where it bounced on the TILE and onto MY PERSIAN CARPET. (Did I mention that this is my favorite Persian carpet of the three I own?? No? Well, it IS! I love it. It is a Tabriz style and done in a majority of light and bright colors and is 60% silk. The background in the center of it is pale CREAM. Yes, hot milky tea with some sugar in it being dumped on it freaked me the hell out. I didn't care that there was tea everywhere, including UNDER the (also) cream sofa, or on my blanket, or anything else. I was freaked thinking that the tea would stain the carpet irreparably (I was most concerned about the areas where colors were cream, pale blue/aqua and a very pale pastel salmon color). Tea stains like a motherfucker.

Off to the kitchen for an obscene amount of dry and wet towels to mop and clean the mess up. Picture me on all fours, tail in the air, cursing under my breath and unable to use much of the left hand for scrubbing since it still hurts like hell from thing no 1, so slight whimpering when the injury is accidently pressed or touched, soaking up tea and mopping and scrubbing gently the carpet.

Carpet seems all right now, but a big ass portion of it is damp, so, I will know more when it dries. *prays*

Third thing: I still wanted tea dammit and I had a nice thermal teapot flask thingie full, so what did I do? I rinsed out my teacup and refilled that sucker. Uh huh. I promptly noticed the tea POURING OUT THE BOTTOM OF IT. Yeah. More fucking tea all over the damn place and no, the cursing is not so much under my breath anymore, ok? Turns out the cup has a crack in the bottom CORNER of it. Well shit. This is part of a set, dammit. Into the trash it goes. More tea clean up. I kinda lost the tea urge after that, you know what I mean?

Three strikes and I'm out, right? So, my ass should be safe for a little bit right? Maybe I should stay in bed just to be safe?

Anything is possible. I mean, jeez. Angel is due to have her kittens in 3 days, her tummy hasn't dropped yet, and she is stuck to me like glue. I walk, she walks, I sit,she sits. I take a shower, she watches. (Oh wait, that's not new!) I think, bless her little (little HAH! LITTLE MY cute ass!) butt, that she has decided to have her kittens under my headboard. Again. I hate when she does that. As is, she's on my "list" today for what she did to my breakfast.

Turns out fuzzy mama likes peanut butter. I had a cinnamon rasin bagel with peanut butter.... I turned my head for a second, looked back and found her going to town licking the peanut butter from the bagel. Cow. Heh. She ate the half she had attacked, bagel, rasins and all.
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As a little reminder if you want to play my weekly Inquisition, please leave or email me a question. I already have one from my daughter who seems to think it is imperative that you all know who is my favorite fairytale princess. (You know, the Disney girls). Yeah, I'm actually going to answer that on my blog to save my ass from her nagging.

I'll give you a freeebie answer early. Like now.

Mayo or Mustard on sandwiches?: Mayo on all sandwiches, not mustard with one little exception: Ham. I like mustard on ham sandwiches, but then again, I don't remember the last time I had a ham sandwich.....

Everything you can think of on a hamburger (make that cheesburger, please) Mustard, mayo, ketchup, secret sauce, whatever.. and everything (ketchup, mustard, e-z relish, onions and/or chili) BUT sauerkraut on a hot dog.

Well hell, I've got the munchies now!





1/23/2005

Rain and Rambling

I find that suddenly, sitting here in front of my monitor, hands in position on the keyboard (yes, I type properly!), I have completely forgotten what I had planned on writing about. It was actually going to be a good post. It just kind of… went on vacation I suppose. Wish I could go on vacation. Heh.

Well, when I am at 'War' with life, or trying to work out the best strategy regardless of the particularly crappy hand I've been dealt, whatever the case may be, I tend to do that every now and then. You know, misplace my thoughts. Stress does effect my concentration in the worst way sometimes which really irritates me more than you can imagine. I usually have a frightfully sharp memory; so much so that a number of very dear people that know me very well say my mind is like a steel trap. Even taking that into consideration, why I am surprised about my brilliant (ha!) posts' departure from my mind is completely beyond me. Things are kind of messed up at present.

Perhaps it is the soothing sound of rain falling outside that made my thoughts drift away. The rain is a bit heavy tonight and it is so nice to hear. I've always loved the sound of rain and, well moving water in general. We don't usually get a great deal of rain here- not more than four or five days a year- so this year is a real exception to the 'rule', so to speak and I'm enjoying it for what it's worth.

I was over at the triplets' house when it started. Thankfully I had a big scarf with me to throw over my head, but to be honest? I didn't drape it all that carefully on the way back to my house walking. It was kind of nice feeling the fat raindrops hitting my nose, wetting my lips and eyelashes. I was frankly more concerned about slipping and falling flat on my backside than getting a little wet in the rain the length of time it would take me to walk down the street two houses. Scarlett fall go boom! No. Not if I can help it.

To think that this time last year I had such hope and a bright outlook for the future. I was trying to get over yet another IVF failure, yet busily planning another try, try number 3. I was busily praying to God above that it would work THIS time. Little did I know it wouldn't and IVF 4 would be cancelled after weeks of hell and hope! In the back of my mind, I plan for IVF 5 when better days arrive and things are more stable. Well, I suppose I am nothing if not tenacious. It helps me survive to go on. Well that and, I suppose, the ticking of my biological clock.

Its funny that Z and I both started new jobs, GOOD jobs with great salaries, benefits and excellent potential (or so we thought) within a month or so of each other last year. Both offers were dropped unexpectedly in our laps. I wasn't looking for a job, I was quite content where I was. The salary could have been better, but it was balanced out by a fantastic boss. The new job offer for me was a 62% salary increase with benefits and annual guaranteed bonus with great working hours. I mean make a pro & con list… its pretty obvious I should give it a shot, and so I did. The new boss was a friend of my fantastic boss and literally stole me from him. Six months later they decided to phase out my position entirely in order to cut corners due to upcoming complete privatization. As an expatriate worker (and the only westerner), I was completely expendable, obviously.

What is funny is that that was almost the exact same reason Z has lost his 'new' job.

I've been looking for jobs ever since. The market for Western women in my field is up and down. I have worked my ass off for the last 13 years or so to reach the senior level and gain the experience I have. Now? Now I hear I'm OVERQUALIFIED. *gag, retch* Give a girl a damn break, willya?

Even so, I figured with a little time (hopefully not TOO MUCH) and patience I would find a good job for myself. Thankfully Z was working and had a good job. I didn't have to worry about a roof over my head or food for my child too much. We could manage and squeeze by even without my salary somehow for the time being.

Then on December 16 we found out about the government loan for the house. WOW! I thought perhaps this was the sign I was waiting for. Even without me working, we could still find and get a house. A house was a real goal for both of us. It is one of the many reasons we moved here. For a fresh start.

Three weeks later I find out Z has been given 30 days notice at work and for basically the same reason I had been let go! Talk about feeling like your world is crashing down! Ok, maybe despair is more like it.

We will get back on our feet again, eventually. I'm like a cat that way. Hopefully sooner than later. But sometimes I feel like I've used up waaaaay too many of my 9 lives!

Not that I don't have hopes. I do. If you lose all of your hope, you die. If you don't have dreams, you have nothing. Even if you attain dreams and goals, they need to be replaced by others. I also know that friends – true friends - are as valuable as pure gold or the most flawless and rare of diamonds. Perhaps worth even more. You also find out who your real friends are when you are down, at your lowest point.

I have found this out – painfully – the hard way… several times.

There are people I truly believed to be genuine friends that, when the chips were down, were incommunicado quicker than you could blink. This is doubly painful for me as I pride myself on being a very good and accurate judge of character and the few times I misjudge really bothers me.

It pisses me off too. I don't give my true friendship so easily. I do make friends easily or acquaintances, but true friends? It depends on what I see of the person because when I give my love and loyalty to someone and they are my friend, they are in my heart, and that is IT. I am always there for them if they need me, even if only to make them smile for a minute or two. If I don't come through for someone when they need me, then it was physically impossible for me to do so. I am never too busy for someone if they truly need me, even if only for a little chat or they need someone to listen or advice. I make the time.

In my book friends are friends through thick and thin, through good and bad, rich or poor. A friendship is like a marriage. It is give and take. Not all give on one side and take on the other. It's a damn shame not everyone believes that.

It bothers me when I am judged based on what others might say (same is true for my whole Monster situation when she talks also!) about me without knowing the truth, or at least both sides of things. I tend to confront. I like to get to the bottom of things. And I know when I've been backstabbed, also. I can feel it. If I hear that someone has said this or that, I tend to go to the person and ask why they felt the need to say that. It is interesting to watch people try and squirm and lie their way out of their troublemaking and compounding their lies when confronted with the proof of their actions. I've been accused every now and then of not being genuine in my actions because of how I am by people that are not like me at all. That is just.... lame.

Z tells me sometimes that my problem is expecting of others what I expect of myself. I hate to admit it, but maybe he is right. He also says I forgive too easily, I'm way too nice and giving and I give second chances when they are probably not deserved.

He is probably right about that too. But I just can't bring myself to be a cold asshole. It isn't who I am. I am loyal to those I love and am extremely protective of the people that fall into that category. If you hurt someone I care for, you have just made an enemy of me for life. I'm a helper. I'm a giver. I forgive. But I'm NOT a doormat. I do have my limits.

It doesn't make it hurt any less though.

Perhaps he says that because that is the code he lives by. If someone burns him, watch out. (Catrina knows him and can vouch for what I say!) He doesn't believe in second chances (unless it's giving his blood family a 300th chance. But that's neither here nor there) On his enemy list is a place I would never want to be. He can be devious and vicious in the extreme when he is out for revenge. Hence my nickname for him of Stealth Bomber. He comes in under the radar when you least expect it, and you don't even realize he's dropped the bomb of his revenge on you till it's on your head!

But that is not me. Perhaps my Mama said it best: "My girl is happiest when she is making others around her happy, and she has been that way ever since she was a little child. If she cares for you, you can expect 200% all the time from her and she is happy to give it, gladly. Because if you are happy, she is happy."

That's not such a bad way to be, is it?

I think I'll go listen to the rain a little more and let it hopefully lull me to sleep. I could use some proper sleep.

Good Night.