My house should be under quarantine, I think. What began as a nasty attack of allergies and sinus last week for Arianna and I, first went away, so we thought, and has come back in other ways with a vengeance.

I've just been fighting one of my famous migraines for days now-oh yaay- and I've got really severe nausea and, well, let's just say I'm waiting for things to run their course. Ugh. The worst part of it all, for me, is the pain in my head even when I sleep. And the pain in my stomach also. It is decidedly unpleasant. But that is nothing compared with my poor baby.

Poor Arianna has the nastiest hacking cough. I took her to her pediatrician this afternoon after she came home from school. She adores this man to pieces. He loves her to bits too. He was so very busy and was about to go home for the day but I called his cell when his nurses told me on the office phone that he was too busy to see her. Hah. Bullshit. So I called him directly and told him she wasn't feeling well and he told me to bring her right away. You would think those nurses would know me better by now, wouldn't you?

We went and waited… and waited… the waiting room was PACKED with parents and children.. lots of sick children. They took her temp… nothing. Good. The weighed her… she's gained weight. Her height? Has shot up in the last two months or so quite a bit. Finally Doc H got to see her.

The visit started off like it usually does and has since she was 4…. With them giving each other a big hug and him kissing her head. Then, up onto the table where he discovered that her little sinus and allergy problems have gone into very bad laryngitis and a chest infection.

This man is genius. He, in under 2 minutes, talked her in to getting 3 days antibiotic injections instead of taking it orally for a week, starting today. Bless him, he didn't tell her he was going to give her TWO injections today only, one antibiotic and one for the throat swelling which was causing the pain.

He doled out double the candy he does for other patients, because she is his pet, and gave her a massive balloon. More hugs and the like ensued as a goodbye. I wandered off to the pharmacy and then went to hunt down Priscilla to give her the injection. Perhaps you will remember Prissy from my earlier posts during my IVF tries? She gives a good injection, she does. Prissy and Sheila are the only ones Ari will let near her butt with a needle, and frankly? I don't blame her one bit.

Injections given and now it was time for my heart attack. We don't presently have medical insurance (sob, scream) which is really bad considering how much Ari and I use it here. The monthly payment for both of us to have private medical insurance with NO co-pay and full hospitalization costs covered if and when needed is only a tiny bit more than the bill for just today was. (This was my argument for keeping it when Z let it lapse 6 months ago without my knowledge at the time. Payment per month is only about 20 bucks more per month than one visit for ONE OF US including meds and NOT including any lab work or x-rays. So, insurance just kinda makes sense, ya know? ) Did he listen? Um, no. So therefore my coronary today would be caused by the BILL to be paid in Cash. Like, now. It was the equivalent of $240.00. On the bright side, if I keeled over, at least I was in a hospital, right? Heh.

Well, Arianna already her breathing sounds better due to that antihistamine injection she had and I'm just waiting for it to conk her out for a nice long sleep. Then?

Then Mama Cyn is going to grab a cat or two, go curl up in the fetal position on my wonderful snuggly bed in a pitch dark room while my head throbs and eventually explodes. Well either my head or my stomach will explode. It's anyone's guess which will go first.

Daddy Z can do observation duty on Ari while I whimper in the dark. I'm outta here for now.

PS: If y'all want to think up any questions now for this weeks Inquisition, be my guest!


An Observation or Two

While watching Catwoman with Z, he made a couple of comments. One in particular, several times.

During Sharon Stone's scenes, he kept saying "She looks so much like Mom" (my Mama, NOT HIS!) And really, she does, from the neck up. My Mama is a slightly older version of Sharon. Finally I looked at him, grinned, and said "Honestly honey, how many men can say their Mother-in-law looks like Sharon Stone?"

Z's reply? "I knowwwwwwww!" with a cheeky grin.

His other observation pertained to Ms. Berry's walk when in her Catwoman getup. Espscially in the final scenes of the film. Z said "Look! She's doing your walk!" Yeah. She was. That is my natural walk, that sashay thing she does in that black leather. I've had that walk since I was very small. It's genetic, that walk. My Dad has it too. It's a bit disconcerting on a man 6'3 but on a woman, it's nice.

I was wondering when Z would get around to noticing her doing my walk. Heh.
Guilty Pleasure

I think it's time I admitted to another guilty pleasure.

I'm a closet Jerry Springer fan.

Come to think of it, I've just announced it on the internet now, so I guess I'm not in the closet about my love of Jerry's show any more, now am I?

Before anyone says anything about it being staged or what not... I don't belive that it's all real, although I do belive that many of the situations DO exist in the world. I don't give a rats ass if it's staged or not. I like it for it's entertainment value. You know.... stuff like this:

Well, this lesbian was pissed at her girlfriend being a slacker and not working, then hanging out with this BULLDYKE named BUBBA while she is out slaving away working her tail off at work to support said girlfriend. BUBBA!!!!!! What a name. HAAAA as if THAT wasn't funny enough?So, she was pissed that Bubba is eating all her food when she's at work and whatnot.. particulary her potato chips... (this is SO REDNECK DYKES ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY!!Mind you I have nothin against lesbians whatsoever. But this? Is something else.) so... then it comes out the bubba is bangin the girlfriend while she is at work AND eating the food. The hard working lover is really pissed about Bubba eating her food. Almost more than she's upset about her doing other stuff. She kept on bitching about the food, then the sex and cheating in her own house, then back to the food-on and on about the damn food, and the chips, dammit; and then JERRY, BLESS HIM, says: "So? Are you more upset about the eating or the cheating?" then walks off and mutters under his breath" Although it's basically the same thing, now isn't it?"

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaahahahahahahhaahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!!!!

The audience comments are prime also. It's all for a chuckle. What makes me howl with laughter is when the women attack each other and yank the wigs off and then you see a wig go flying into the audience. Funny.

I mean, Jerry's program is a crack up, and I take a break from watching Discovery Civilizations, CNN,Discovery Channel, The History Channel, E! (for my celebrity gossip! Another guilty pleasure) etc..for a good laugh.

You all already know about my obsession with Survivor, so, add this to the pot.

Jerry is even MORE dear to me now. When I moved here from the States, Jerry wasn't shown here. I couldn't get my mitts on it until a few months ago. (Thank you SHOWTIME!) Now, every night, I can get my Jerry fix.

Oh, there was Rikki Lake, Maury, Montel, and I have Oprah. But no Jerry. Now I have JERRY!

What the hell. It's better than looking at monster's antics.

Y'all still love me a wee bit?


Inquisition Confession – Week 13

Sorry it's taken me a while to post my answers. I'm in a bit of shock today. All right, a lot of shock, actually.

Z lost his job today. They are closing the branch he works in and have decided to do away with that department overall. His last day is Feb 15. No, you are all NOT imagining, we are BOTH without work now.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

So they said "Bye bye" today. The fockers. I've a second interview somewhere tomorrow. Let's see what comes of it.

On to 'more important' matters that I can actually do something about, like, my BLOG and satisfying my darling readers curiosity!

Well I recieved quite tame questions for a change this week. Surprising and refreshing. Let me cut right to them, hmmm?

Cheryl b asked me:

What is your favorite book and why?

My goodness, I don't know how to choose a favorite book. I love to read so much.

But, you make me choose, so, probably Pride and Prejudice or Emma by Jane Austen.

I not only like her books, but I also like Jane's life story and the story behind them. She wrote her books and was published in a time when women did not write published books. It was a man's world. Ooooh, I sound all feminist, don't I?

I love period movies and books, so these really got me but good. She writes with humor, even if it is sometimes underlying and her characters are real (I bet just like some people you know) and could be people from today instead of 120+ years ago.

The author of Bridget Jones Diary, for instance, took inspiration from Austen's heroines, I heard her say in an interview.

By the way, I like Little Women also.

A more modern author I really adore is Diana Gabaldon. She writes historical fiction and, God bless her, publishes HUGE, I mean FAT-ASS books. She is a sucker for detail, and I love me some detail.

Mare asked me:

What is your favorite kitten story?

Much the same ones that you said, Mare. I've had up to 26 kittens of various ages at once, and I love watching them play together.

One would have to be Isis' littermate sister, Princess a Black and white. she was always naughty, and in the apartment we had at the time, right before we moved to Bahrain, we had corner windows. One corner of the living room was all windows, so the curtains were sortof an L-shape. Z and I were watching TV, it was Christmas time, because the tree was up and Isis had been attacking the tree and swiping a santa decoration I had hanging with a cotton beard and strutting around with it like a fresh kill, we would take it from her, and put it higher where she couldn't reach, and she was taking flying leaps at one point. After 8 times, I gave up and hid santa alltogether.

So anyway, from the corner of my eye, I see movement up high. I look up and see Princess has climbed the curtain and is running along the curtain rod from one wall to another and back again. She was about 6 weeks old at this point. Then she did a kamikaze dive bomb off the rail when she realized she was caught.... right onto me.

Catrina, my pal asked me:

Did you get as sick here in the states as you do over there? If not, I think you should move back for health reasons.

Isn't my friend adorable y'all? She wants me back home. I feel all loved, missed and wanted now. SMOOCHY CATRINA.

Well Cat, no, I didn't get as sick back home as I do here. Not by a long shot. (or close shot for that matter) Back home I used to maybe catch the flu once or twice a year, and that was it. I did develop allergies during my pregnancy with Arianna that have stuck with me ever since, but other than that, nope.

When certain members of Z's family remark that I'm always sick, ("must be the cats") and I get pissed off I say, (In my head) "Give me a fucking break, and kiss my ass while you're at it" and out loud: "Well, I've had animals, cats in particular, my whole life, it's not that. Coincidentally, I am the sickest I've ever been since I moved here, so perhaps I'm allergic to Bahrain?"

And a question from Carrie Jo that arrived a tad bit late last week and one for this week too, cause, well, because I want to answer both, so there!

Last weeks: Who were your famous people crushes in middle/high school?

Aha…. Good one. Let's see now. I had massive, I mean MASSIVE crushes on Elvis, John Travolta and Rock Hudson since I was about 8 or 9.

As I got older, ok, well, a little bit older, when I hit about 11 is when I discovered Duran Duran.. and more importantly Simon Le Bon and John Taylor from Duran. Simon is and was No 1 and John, No 2 in my book. Still are for that matter.

I was so bad, (still am actually) in fact, that if you simply say "Duran Duran" or "Simon" in front of my Mom, she will cringe. In fact, I am still amazed at myself that when I met Simon those COUPLE OF TIMES, that I managed to be all cool and collected. I always have been with celebrities, but jeez! Simon? That was some serious lust I was carrying around for years! I also managed to not jump his bod. It was a near thing. Then? I met his younger brother, Jonathan. Who is just as hot as Simon, TALLER, and hee, sings just as good, if not better.. He is a real charmer. Rowrrrrrrr.

I also liked Adam Ant. Poor guy. He's lost his mind I hear. Shame,that. He was awfully sexy. I guess I'm a sucker for tight leather pants.

I'm a very loyal person and once I give my love and/or loyalty, you really have to screw me over big time to lose it. They've been good boys all and therefore still have my undying love.

Well, except for Elvis who went and died on me. I still watch Elvis movies though. It drives Z nuts. Turns out Rock was gay, and then he went and died on me too. At least Mr. Travolta is still around and adorable.

I seem to recall a bit of a crush on John Stamos also. He is still gorgeous.

This weeks' question: What makes you so freaked out by these sweet little creatures (and reptiles too, for that matter)?

Lizards. Well, when I was little in Florida, some jumped on me and freaked me the hell out, I was all traumatized. They are the kind that look like mini-alligators, what we had in South Florida. Tiny little bastards.

I've NEVER liked snakes. Ever. But for some freaky reason, snakes love me. This is not a good thing in my book. See, I always wanted to have a pet mongoose. THAT is how much I don't like them.

In school, even in High School, teachers would bring live snakes in to class for Life Science and walk around with them on their arms. The snakes were singularly uninterested in my classmates, but each and every time they got within sniffing distance of me, it was time to stretch off teacher's arm and say hello to Cyn! Every. Single. Time. Maybe because I am very warm blooded? I don't know. I backed away from them so fast it was hilarious.

That and there was a poisonous snake coming through the tall grass in our backyard towards Mama and I as she was hanging laundry that we didn't see when I was about, 4 or so. All of a sudden, I see my cat, Tiger-shin came flying through the air and going apeshit and doing flips and pounces about 2 ft or so from us. Tiger-shin killed it and dragged its lifeless body to us to show off, then drug it off behind the shed. Dad was all happy with Tiger that day when he got home and saw the snake. Tiger-shin was a very spoiled and loved cat from that day on, even more than before.

Growing up in a house that had a canal waaaaaaay back on the property with a thick 20 ft high chain link fence separating it from us, I was taught a healthy fear and understanding of alligators and crocodiles.

If it redeems me in your eyes, I have discovered a love of turtles. A friend of mine had a particularly flirtatious one in her house that liked me and always tried to get out of his bowl to me. I liked him a lot. I touched him even. So there! Oh wait. That's an amphibian, isn't it? Well, damn.

Well, to quote Porky Pig..... dib bdiiib dib bdiiiiib bdibbb bdiiiiiibbbbbb, that's all folks!



I just read something on the internet. Again. Where I usually go, on CNN.com, bless their informative hearts. About rats being bilingual.

What the hell?

Rats? Bilingual? There are HUMANS that can't manage to be bilingual, but rats are? That.is.just. wrong.

But beyond my shock at this amazing find is the thought that rolled through my head next….

What genius decided to SEE IF RATS COULD BE BILINGUAL? Well, His name is Juan, for starters. Imagine the lab conversation between two scientists, hmmm? Juan says: "Hey Jorge! I've been thinking…. I wonder if Mickey, this little rat here, or Speedy, the other one, could possibly be bilingual. I've got 62 other male rats we could play with right over here! Why don't we actually DO A STUDY? Wouldn't that be so damn cool?"

Jorge replies: "Yes Juan, just as soon as I take another hit of CRACK, lets do a study to see if they communicate in different languages. I mean, who needs to find a cure for AIDS or Cancer anyway? Let's check out the rats communication skills! YEEAH!"

Juan: "How about we try, oh say, Dutch and Japanese?"
Jorge: "Muy Bien AMIGO!"

And they went on to do scientific studies of the male rats. (Why no females, fellas?) Look at what they did:

The rats were trained to respond to either Dutch or Japanese using food as a reward

Well, DUH! HELLO???????????? These were ADULT MALE RATS. OF course you could get them to respond for food as a reward. It probably would have worked just as well if you had also showed them rat porn or PLAYRAT as a reward. Give me a break.

Next they will probably check the females and reward them with, oh I don't know, shoes? Pretty jewelry? Very expensive handbags? (Hee heee)

Isn't it nice to know that rats are ranked right up there with humans and monkeys?

Actually, it's kind of depressing.

I suppose next they will say Lizards are bilingual too. Ugh.


Nag, Nag, NAG!

Happy Monday to you all! Yeah, I know, 'Happy Monday my ass!' many of you are probably thinking, since it's your first workday of the week. Still, be glad you HAVE a job, hmmm?

Don't worry, I'm sure I will come up with some zinger posts about work once, if ever, I am gainfully employed again. This unemployed stuff is driving me up a damn wall, is what.

Patience. Or as I heard recently... "Luck is when you have planned in advance for an opportunity that presents itself to you.", or something to that effect. Uh-huh. Since I'm an almost OCD-level planner type person, that little bit of wisdom really struck a chord with me.

For example, I plan to eventually fancy up my blog. You know, go all out and hire some fantastic designers like MOXIE to do something for me and get my own domain name because I absolutely adore their work. I have planned so much that I have detailed ideas about column titles and sections and design ideas written out by hand.

See what I mean? OCD level planner. So. On that note, it is time for a wee bit of nagging.....

because you have until the sun rises on the Pacific Coast tomorrow (that would be Tuesday for the inebriated, heavily medicated, or hung over) to get your darling question in to me.

ME! ME! ME! ME!!!!!!!!!!

I'm nagging at you why? Because I did a vewy baaaad thing. (Elmer Fudd voice) It seems that I missed celebrating De-lurking day! For shame. Frankly? I DO give a damn. So it's Happy Belated De-lurking day here at Scarlett's Haven. Knock yourselves out.

So. A question. Pretty much anything you can come up with. (oooh. I'm kinda skeered.*shudder, twitch*) It can be simple or complex. Innocent or, well, dirty. I mean, jeez, I got asked for a p*nis story last week! Heh. Y'all are funny.

Bring it on! I can take it. I think.

PS: I'm feeling better today, although? The throat is getting to me every now and then and sometimes I am sounding like Demi Moore with a sore throat and I'm still a wee bit congested, but otherwise, fine. *knocks on wood*

PPS: PSA: If you have not seen "Without A Paddle" , please go rent it and prepare to laugh your tail off. If you like comedies, that is. Its. Hilarious. (I couldn't stop saying SCOTTY DOOOO! through the whole movie though.)


The Midwife

I was thinking today about my three pregnant cats.

Yeah. All three are in various stages of pregnancy. It appears that Max has been a very busy guy lately, doesn't it? Between impregnating the females and getting into increasingly more violent Alpha Male fights with his full grown son (Bad move Max. YOU have no front claws, Sigfried? Does. As Max unfortunately found out quite badly last night with a huge gushing blood gash under his chin last night.), I’m surprised he even has energy to groom himself as well and often as he does. Well, I imagine it is easier to groom his HUGE BUTT since his son has snatched him half bald, but still! Sadly, I will have to find a good home for Sigi, cause it is just getting TOO violent. Everyday is becoming a bloodbath here.

I'm thinking, by the looks of Angel, aka: Homeland Security, she looks like she easily has 5 in there and looks like she has maybe 2 more weeks or so to go. Well, hell. Scarlett? (The cat, not me! Don't I wish?), she should be due in 5 weeks or so. She's tiny like her MIA mom yesterday Isis. So, maybe she will only have two like her mom.

Either way, that is one huge load of kittens. (Good thing I love the little critters, isn't it?) A good friend of mine calls me "Ellie May"(Beverly Hillbillies, remember?) for a lark.

That means I had better get my stuff ready, since I usually deliver them. See, I’m a cat midwife of sorts.

Persian cats are usually quite lazy when it comes to birthing their young. They can get them out just fine, but sometimes, the whole cleaning the sac off the babies faces or cutting the cord kind of slips their mind, so that’s where I come in. If that sac isn't cleaned off quickly after birth, they suffocate.

I clean em up if mama isn’t doing it and cut the cord and everything, then put them near her tummy to get a bite to eat.

My cats are so very close to me, they usually wait until I am around. Rarely have I had a cat deliver a litter when I was not at home. In fact, Isis's mother, Cozette, did not like her delivery bed I made all special for her, was in early labor, and prowling my room while I was in bed, reading late at night. I had no idea she was in labor until she hopped on the bed and laid on my lap. I felt shaking on my legs and I thought she was purring awfully hard. I look over my book and notice that she has gotten a kitten half delivered ON ME. )Oh wonderful. Needless to say, I stuck her butt in that birthing bed anyway, and by then, she didn't give a damn as long as I was stroking her head while she was delivering them, one by one.

I love that they are so close to me that they even let me pick the babies up and handle them. I've had cats that come get me and try to get me to follow them, and when I do, they take me to their babies, look at me, lick their 'lips' , look back at the babies, and then go eat and go do their bathroom business while I 'babysit'. If I try and leave the kids, we go through the whole thing all over again, but usually with much meowing on mama cat's part, cause I have pissed her off, apparently.

Once, Velvet, my first female Persian cat, was pregnant same time as her daughters. (Much like now) they delivered the same week. What freaked me out is that she would go to her daughter's boxes, jump in one so her daughter could go eat and go potty, and curl up with her grandkids while her own new kittens slept. Sometimes she would even suckle them. It freaked me the hell out each time she did it. She was the sweetest, daintiest little thing…. With the deep meow of a tomcat. Heh.

I'm curious what kind of kittens I will get this time. Sometimes, it's like a rainbow. But since they all went and got knocked up at virtually the same time, I decided to have a little talk with them and make 'requests' of each based on the possibility of what they can have. It's only fair. Tell you what! I will probably need help finding names, so as they are born, I will describe each litter for you and you all can help me find some fab names, okay? (Seven Dwarfs names not applicable ok wise guys?)

I mean Isis actually listened to me last time *wink* and I got Miss Scarlett, my Tabby Calico. (I'm not being vain. Arianna named her that!) What the hell, it won't hurt.

I hope to God that I get a job soon, because I am going to have a lot of mouths to feed in the very near future!


From Bad to…..

Worse, I think. Well, in some ways.

A medical update. I. Still feel kind of crappy, but in completely different ways. Great, huh?

Fever.. I think under control. Achy-ness, gone pretty much. Congestion/Sneezing/allergies/blocked ear/general Sinus infection crap? Still here, but less somewhat. But as of this morning? I think I am on the road to being truly screwed up.

See, my ENT told me on Wednesday that my sinuses were infected (which explains the hellish pressure and pain in my ears nicely, doesn't it?) and he gave me a shitload of antibiotics to help combat it from going to my throat and vocal cords and voice box.

I think the infection has hit both places overnight last night because when I woke up? My throat was swollen and extremely painful. Other than that, a good way for me to tell on my own is to try and sing. If I have pain when I sing, I know the infection has reached that area, because it lessens my range considerably. * La la la la la la laaaaaaa*(Well, that and I sound like a singing frog, but anyway..) I also feel like I am choking and suffocating on the phlegm that I can't seem to bring all out, painful as it is. It is a bit scary.

At least some of it is clearing up while other things are acting up. Whee. I found a bright side.

I think I'll blame Isis on the throat thing since I was out looking for her furry ass till 4 am last night in the cold because she went AWOL when monster 'accidentally' left the front door open, so Isis decided to take off because she is sneaky that way, the little hussy. Usually she comes when I call her but last night? Nothing. I was really worried about her. So Isis, that bitch, decided to go gallivant out around Lord knows where on the COLDEST NIGHT IN BAHRAIN, dammit. Plus wind chill. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. Then late this afternoon, I left the kitchen door open for a bit in case she got hungry and wanted to come home, and all of a sudden, she strolls on in. I SO told her little self off…….as I was hugging and kissing her head and telling her not to make me worry. She was looking at me, and then, gently pressed her little paw to my cheek twice almost like an apology.

So then this morning? Throat. Yeah, Isis. It's all your fault, cat.

A little reminder, or my weekly nag as some of you might call it. But. Well, I just want to remind you about, well, you know, any little question you might want to ask of me for The Inquisition get it in before the sun rises on the West Coast of the U.S. on Tuesday. I will get Cheryl B's late question in this weeks answers. But if she wants to give me another, be my guest.