7/23/2004

The Betrayal

 Not to interrupt my party over on the previous post.... (keep posting on there for the party, BTW!) But, well, I hust have to vent.  I read over on Chez Miscarriage the following just now, and ,well, I just can't keep quiet, because it struck something deep in me that I've been dealing with for a while now. 

 From Chez Miscarriage:
Dr. Love said, You use a gestational surrogate when there's no uterus, not when there's a damaged uterus. You don't use a surrogate to increase your chances of having a baby. You use a surrogate when you have no other options, when there's no hope, when you're at the end of the line.
How interesting, I said the very same thing to Z last week, and a few weeks before that. And a month ago and two months ago when my 4th IVF cycle got cancelled. And the 3 times before that he has mentioned it… in 2004.

A couple of  nights ago, his niece, the mother of the triplets and I went to the movies. Fortunately I am and have always been very close with her. She is one year older than me. On the way there, she confided to me that her Uncle, my husband, asked her to be a surrogate for us. I don’t know how I continued to keep driving the car, actually. That hurt me so very much. I replied the most flippant as I could. “Has he lost his fucking mind? You just delivered triplets! What kind of nutcase would ask that of a woman that just delivered triplets?” She said that’s what she told him also.

He had mentioned it to me.  Several times. I thought he was just running the idea past me. Kinda like how he was buttering me up for the idea of a second wife last year. (a really rich one, so he could “take care of me”) )hes' muslim) I guess I was wrong. Bullshit then, and bullshit now. I told him what I thought of his suggestion about a surrogate. “Why? My damn uterus is fine. Then I went on to basically state verbatim what Dr. Love said above.” Glad to have a doctor backing me up on that one. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There is other crap in my reproductive system that is messed up-ovaries- but my poor uterus is just fine, thank heavens. I can’t believe that after I told him how against the whole idea I was all those times he mentioned it, he STILL went to her and asked her. She said he was very serious about it.  Maybe I’m a bitch, but I’d really like to scratch his eyes out. I haven’t confronted him about it yet. and I heard about it from someone else. He didn't even tell me he is approaching people about it. And if you think that she is the only one he has asked or will ask, I've got a lovely piece of land in Siberia I'd like to sell you that is PERFECT for winter holidays.

He asked me if when Aunt Flo starts if I want to take Clomid this time. I looked at him, with his comments in the back of my head and said, “No. Not now. Be reasonable. I just lost my job. I have to have a job.” Right now you guys, I’m so hurt, I really hate him. I feel betrayed. He went behind my back knowing how I felt on the subject, like everything else, and it kinda makes me wonder…

What else has he gone behind my back about?

Party Update

Hello my darlings! Party is back ON! Do you HEAR ME?????? BACK ON!  Lets have it oh, all weekend long. I'm curious how much mischief we can all get into!  I admit I'm curious in the extreme. So, party will start today, Friday, and last until Sunday evening.  Yes, one big sleepover/slumber party.  Hows that lovlies?

Bring a friend. Refer a friend. And you lurkers out there??? (you know who you are!) STOP THAT SHIT AND POST A COMMENT WILLYA????????  Jeez, why you hiding? I don't bite.....much.

Also, can someone give me some help jimmying the lock on the Monster's bedroom door.  (Hey, she did it to MY dressing cupboard while I was on vacation, and has since broken the lock in the door of it completely) Turnabout is fair play.

Music? Check. Stripper? Check. Food? Check. Booze? Check! Twister? Check. Magic 8 ball? Check. Friends from all over the planet? Check, I think!

7/22/2004

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!
 
Didja miss me?????? You better have! I missed you guys, LOADS.

At least my blog does not look like a cheap slasher film victim anymore. Whew! (Thanks Kim!)

It has been an interesting few days lately. Lost my job, yesterday was my last day,BUT I have an interview lined up already!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!

Just found out that my airconditioning compressor in my car.. is dead. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! In this heat??? The weather was ... dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn................. 125 today! Plus humidty. goody. I have sucky luck this week, no?  Will take it to fix on Saturday.  (it's only gonna cost about 400 bucks!)*gags, shaking head, sobbing*  This BLOWS. Seriously.

My inet is out of order at home probably until day after tomorrow... so, I'm getting my fix here at my SIL's house.

OHMIGOD, I missed my blog so much......... and all of you too! It's good to be home.

Kisses for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!! (was it good for you too???)

7/19/2004

Party Postponed 
Well it is until tomorrow due to the obvious technical difficulty Blogger.com is having (bless their hearts!) I've sent them a request to straighten this all out.
 
So, Party is Tuesday instead. Sorry for the delay.
 
Love, Scarlett Cyn

7/18/2004

Hello, My Name is....... 
 
Hello, my name is Cyn, and I am an accessory addict. I mean SERIOUSLY y'all!
 
WHEW!!!! I thought that would be harder to do. Wait a cottonpickin minute here! I don't want to stop this!
 
See, I've started my own little fraternity/ club .. whatever, and honestly honeys, I'm so very proud.  It is called "The Imelda Marcos Society for Women With Shoe and Handbag Addiction". I even have a few members! Importantly, 
Amalah  is already a member my drinking buddy Katie too, and a friend here named Aseel (she has it BAD girlies! Will elaborate later) and most likely Martha and Mindy will join in the not too distant future. We have our own motto too! "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'TOO MANY' SHOES OR HANDBAGS,  so you can just STOP YER BITCHING!!!"  Don't you just loave us? Yeah, I thought you did.
 
I was chatting with my darling Amalah on IM the other day and we got to talking about strappy sexy evening or whenever-the-hell-we-feel-like-wearing-them shoes and our little NEED for them. Ok, ok. I was also telling her about my latest acquisition. Anyhoo.... I got to thinking yesterday.... and here is part of my tally:
 
  • Evening/Dress sandals: 6 pairs (WHAT? I'm really, really picky)
  • Boots: 2 pairs (WHAAAAT???? I know that is nothing, but I live in the freaking Middle East for Christsakes! Like I NEED BOOTS???)
  • High Heeled pumps.....8 plus one GORGEOUS Open Toe one that is so amazing that even I can't find something to top it! It's my favorite! (3 3/4 inch heel girls!)
  • Strappy sandals (heeled and otherwise and oh so sexy, naturally): Ahem....erm..... well....... lets just say OVER uh, 20. hows that?
  • loafer-work type shoes4     

And um, just for the record, I did inventory of my handbags yesterday, and.. the tally, as of TODAY, stands at:   23 handbags, 6 wallets, and 4 evening bags (WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I told you I was extremely picky about my evening  accessory purchases!! Jeez.) 

And before any of my male readers (and you know who you are!) start commenting on that number of purses, let me tell you a little somthing my dahling men..... I USE EM ALL! Yes, that is right, I rotate and switch. Frequently, sometimes daily. Like, the black Gucci with the Bamboo handle (my recent FAVORITE, im SO in loave with it!) one day, then a beige or camel purse the next, then my pride and joy, a cordovan colored (that's like Burgundy- yes wine- for the men) Cartier handbag with MATCHING WALLET.  I loave that one so much, I don't use it ALL that often cause I don't want it to get hurt.  I'm all about matching my shoes and bags too! So, Shhhhhhhh! Not all my stuff is that expensive though, before you start having major freaking coronary attacks! "Hello? 911? Um, Yes, I realize this is long distance, but, um, I think someone needs your help... his name is ____ and I think he is having a heart attack." If it makes the cringing males feel any better.... I buy them myself.

Now my previously mentioned friend Aseel? She is waaay worse than me. I mean, completely bonkers over shoes. I am SO normal compared to her. Like I tell Z when he bitches about my shoes, "Hush! Be glad I'm not Aseel, ok?" (although his reply is often "yeah, but you COULD BE. I mean, the potential is there!") She moved back home here from Boston, and when her container shipment of stuff arrived, she told me about how she was lovingly unpacking her 60+ pairs of shoes she had shipped back. 60+ people! In addition to the LOAD of shoes she has here already.  It's so bad, that her sisters, 3 younger than her, have asked to be left her shoes in her will.... and, um, she is only 29. The younger sisters fight over the shoes. In. the. will.  (Hell, I just want her jewellery, but that is another post ENTIRELY!) Yeah. So, I'm nothing compared to her. She said she would live on doritos and snickers in college to be able to buy shoes instead.  Uh huh. I can totally understand that, can't you? A girl's gotta priortize, right?

So, if you're interested in joining my little society, please let me know, hmmmm?

Later, I will regale you with the contents of my makeup STOCKPILE. (Let's put it this way... I am the Aseel of the cosmetics world, got it?) Good.

 
And don't forget my DAMN PARTY TOMORROW!!!!!