The Advisor

About a week ago I recieved an IM via Facebook from a sweet, kind hearted young woman I used to work with several years ago.  She needed to talk - badly - and needed advice from someone she knows and trusts that has gone through what she is going through.

She is 12 weeks pregnant with multiples and absolutely terrified.

She WAS pregnant with five (seemingly healthy) babies, but her doctor scared the everloving shit out of her and bullied and scared her into selective reduction.  This is an option that MUST be offered to any woman pregnant with multiples of three or higher. Offered, not bullied. She has some regrets at this point. She is currently carring a set of identical twins and one lone wolf. God willing all goes well.

But she needed suggestions, advice, and answers to questions that only I, in her universe, could provide. She had been given no advice from her physician on taking care of herself and her unborn children.  Healthy eating choices, and all other sorts of things with a primary focus on behaviours and habits that will give her the best end-result; keeping these babies in utero as long as possible and being born as well- developed, strong and healthy too. Every day they stay in counts hugely when you're growing half a sports team in your belly!

Being pregnant with multiples is not like a normal pregnancy. Don't fool yourself into thinking it is. It isn't. EVERYTHING is maginified in ways you cannot imagine.  It is an amazing and yet terrifying experience and I am happy to share my experience with her and anyone else.

She contacted me again last night with some further questions/concerns which I think I helped her with. One OBGYN is pushing her to do a Cerclage, while three others are advising against it. She wanted to know if I had done one. (I didn't) I explained that of course it is her choice, but if she chooses not to do it, then she must modify herself a bit and be infinetly more cautious. Personally, and I am not a physcian, but she has already done one surgical procedure (the selective reduction) and the pregnancy is progressing well. In her shoes I still wouldn't do it, and I had a history of FOUR miscarriages, one of which was multiples (way more multiples than I ended up delivering).

I just want to hug her, she is so very scared. It is a very intimidating thing to go through.

As a result of this, and some recent encouragement from a beautiful friend of mine (yes YOU Ms. D!) I have been reminded why I ultimately (mainly) started Scarlett's Haven well over 10 years ago; because if I can help one person struggling with either infertility, or pregnancy with singletons, multiples and the trials and tribulations of raising of kids (multiples or otherwise) and make them laugh or smile through their tears and fears, then that is what I should do, and what God and the Universe wants me to do.

So here I am once again, for her, and, if it helps, for you too.

Smile baby, we got this!
XXOO ~Scarlett Cyn

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