I guess I’m on a roll about my cats lately but to be honest? I just couldn’t NOT post this little bit of funny. No way. Y’all would NEVER forgive me.
So, without further ado……..
Z and I were washing and grooming the 2 boys and Big Mama Isis. (actually she’s tiny as hell, but lots of attitude) It was bath time. I have to help because, well, if I don’t, he might end up killing one of em. He’s awfully heavy handed and rough with them unless they sit still… yeah, cats sitting still in a bath. Well, Max, my big lug, who, for the record is a flame point Himalayan Persian cat. He is a very big boy. I kid you not. He’s about the size of a partially grown cocker spaniel and damn heavy. His head is HUGE. Big ass cat. Anyway, Maximus, the big dork, snuck out of the house and flopped in the garden. My Persian cats are housecats y’all. These are pedigree, longhaired cats and cats like that and the yard? Make for a tangled mess that I have no patience to try and fix normal again. Anyway, if Max had flopped in the grass it wouldn’t have been such a big deal but where did he flop? In the newly empty flowerbed that is nothing but dirt and manure, the stupid bastard. I think he did this little outing right after he had bathed himself cause he was well, covered in the dirt and it was stuck to his fur. Sigh.
So, into the bath he went. He is generally pretty good. Usually just sits and meows a lot, particlary at ME and it sounds just like “Moooooommmm, oooooowwwwwwww,moooooooooooooooom”. Really. So, Z was soaping him down real good, 3rd shampoo and I was holding him and petting him and keeping him calm. Max, not Z! So then Z is soaping Max’s tummy and then he shouts out ………
Are you ready for this?
Are you SURE????????????????
Z shouts out “Ohhhhhhh Shitttttttttttttttttt!!!! Ewwwwwwww yeck! Shit I touched his penis! Fuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!*gag, retch, heave, shudder* Damn… gross…ewwwwww…. I touched it….*more gagging and choking*”
This statement, shouted out loud, sent me in to absolute FITS of laughter. While I was laughing very loud and quite hysterically at him and the look on his face… his gagging and retching noises making me laugh even harder he jumped up and started scrubbing his hands with soap to wash them and , oh, I don’t know, perhaps scrub the skin off them? This made me laugh even harder and I started telling Max, “Hey big boy, I bet this is the BEST bath you EVER got, huh baby?” and he was just looking at me with those huge big blue eyes while I laughed in his little furry kitty face and hearing Z say “oh SHUT UP, will you? *Gag*” . I couldn’t stop though, I just couldn’t.
Come on, do you really blame me?