WAND MONKEY THE BASTARD
Remember my post last week about Wand Monkey leaving on sabbatical in December? Well guess what?
He’s gone. For good. Bye bye. Finito. Arevadercci. Adios Bendeho (yeah, I meant that). Aloha. Masalammeh you shithead. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass…. Wait, scratch that, I hope it DOES hit you on the ass on the way out, ya big FREAK.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, that’s better. Do I sound irritated? Good, cause I am!
He left without a word. Sneaky so and so. He just took off. And guess who is taking over his patients? His mentor. The very conservative one. The Dr. I started out with in the first place, and then when he decided he was leaving, he dumped me on Wand Monkey. So. I will name names just so we can keep things straight, shall I? The Disappearing Wand Monkey’s name is Dr. Hatem. Sarcastic Wand Monkey is Dr. Raouf. Actually, I bet if he looks at my file, Raouf will say “You’re STILL not pregnant?”followed by “Why did he do that? And why did you take _____ and what about______???” and I will just end up whimpering in his face. He is older, and honestly? Adorable. His hair is like cotton it is so white and fluffy. He is the doc that did the hellish Laprascopy on me 2 years ago exactly.
One good thing about Sarcastic Wand Monkey….. he is gentle, bless him. I STILL remember the internal exam he gave me when I was in pain, he was apologizing left, right and center and calling me ‘poor darling’ and saying ‘I know dear, I’m sorry, I know it hurts. Im done now’. Yes my dears, I’m trying to find a silver lining in all this.
You know? I can’t WAIT to tell him the specialist asked why he didn’t suggest ovarian drilling *shudder, retch, gag* 2 years ago and was questioning his choices. THAT will piss him off. Heh.
Well, I’m not gonna see him till I have an INCOME, that’s for sure. I still can’t believe Wand Monkey #1 took off. He lives around the corner, the schmuck. Feaking asswipe. I’ve been through a hell of a lot with him. Couldn’t even say BYE?
Now that, my friends, is an Asshat with a capital “A”!
In the meanwhile, I’m off to go googlesearch how to make a voodoo doll of that little gap toothed wand monkey schmuck. Now where did I put those stickpins?????