5/05/2004

Wand Monkeys

I was visiting my buddy getupgrrl's site, Chez Miscarriage, just now, and read of the verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of the bitch radiologist that was going to do her ultrasound yesterday. This resulted in many of the wonderful women that were viewing the site to recount their own stories and it got me to thinking............

Where the fuck do these people that are supposed to be providing medical care get off??? Maybe it's that they DON'T "get off" and that's the problem.

Now, my doctor does his own ultrasounds, and has all these specialist degrees and all to do it, so it's something he's "in to". Problem is, he's a little TOO good..... it's kinda a case of "wham-bam-thank-you-mam!" if ya get my drift?? And he can be a little....un-gentle.(I know it's not a real word, but its appropriate) And when your ovaries are stimmed up the yin-yang, pelvis and everything IN it is painful...... the last thing you want is Dr.Wand Monkey shoving the probe up your Hoo-ha and checking out your ovaries like he's shifting his goddamn dream Ferrari! Dr w/probe......Me: whimpering in pain...."it's really tender, it hurts, can you go a little easy????PLEASE??" Doc:"um, humm, ok"..... still down shifting in my hoo-hah...... I reach over and grab his .... thigh, arm, whatever I can reach... and squeeze........HARD until he gets the picture. He can be an insensitive dolt sometimes, but generally is a sweet person who usually kisses my forehead or top of my head (OK, he's 6'5 and I'm 5'8) when he sees me or gives me a big bear hug when I'm feeling rotten. He isn't the Best doc for ultrasounds i've ever had tho... cause he DOESN"T like my questions during the ultrasound... he wants to hurry up and I want to see inside my body what's going on.

Here I am getting pumped with big-ass-doses of rFSH daily, among other things, and Im trying to get pregnant.... the very least you could do is SHOW me the follicles clearly. Jeesh.

I mean I don't know about y'all, but I think it's really interesting to see inside you. In school we've seen films in science and photos in books, but to see it and not in an impersonal way.... it's YOU up on that screen. That's why I like to look at my embryo(s) before I do the transfer......... cause that is part of me, and part of Z and if it sticks.... it amazes me that in 4 weeks from right now that I'm looking at this mass of cells, that it will have become a little fetus with a heart and blood pumping.Those cells could one day call me mama.

And wouldn't that be lovely?

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