By Request & My OCD Confession

A couple of people requested a VS story.

I’m feeling generous. You’ll get a couple today. How’s that? I hope you like them.

My favorite customers when I was working at VS were the men. They would come in and look totally lost. Happy, but lost! You have to approach them much like you would a strange animal. Slowly and tentatively. The best is when we had to ask their wife/girlfriend/significant other’s size.

The poor thing would start looking around at the women in the shop, sizing up their backsides and breasts, and attempt to describe them. With hand gestures. Hahaha. “Oh, her breasts are like that woman there, and her hips are like the women two people over from the breasts…. And, she’s about your height…” etc…

Better than this? Um, once I got an obviously gay man coming in to buy a bunch of things for himself. He looked more like a she, if you get my drift. I get on quite well with most gay men, fortunately, which is good for me, cause I made a KILLER sale that day! (we didn’t get commission, but had sales targets!)

Another time, I got one man who was obviously very ,um, manly, and he wanted women’s underwear… for himself. (Aren’t I the lucky sales person?)

A friend of mine, Carol, who was probably the most outrageous person I have EVER known in my entire life, worked with me. We would make each other laugh by just looking at the expressions on the other’s face. When we were both scheduled in the bra room, during slow periods during the day, we would have to put out stock. Sometimes the bras would come without size tags on them, Carol would put a cup on her head, and say, OH LOOK! THIS ONE WILL FIT YOU!!!!!!!!! And then laugh like a madwoman, slapping her thigh.

Speaking of bras and organization and all these good things, brings me to another sort of related subject.

During a discussion with a very good friend today, discussing, of all things, my anally retentive organized underwear drawer, this friend said “OOOH, OCD meets Victoria’s Secret!”. It has been said by this friend that I might just have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder!) Could be. Could be.

Actually, upon further reflection, I realized this friend is right (as usual). Sigh.

~ For the men that are weak of heart (or are afraid of TMI) please stop reading here and cut down to the comments and leave one. (Although, knowing the men that read MY blog, I bet they will keep on reading, won't ya fellas?!)

Cheryl b. is fascinated with my whole bra situation, as witnessed in her comment on yesterdays post. I sent her an email answer as to where I buy my bras. As of late, since there is no VS here, and I’ve outgrown (hahahahaha) their sizing structure anyway, I buy at a British Department Store Chain called Marks & Spencer. There is one here, although, when I lived in the States, I would stock up like HELL each trip to the UK I would make. Z would say, you want to go shopping X, Y,Z place, and I would be like, I don’t care what we do in London, just let me stock up on my bras at Marks! (insert loud whimpering and whining by Husband here) They have really well made bras and merchandise in general. I occasionally mail order some bras also. But not so much anymore, now that Marks has opened here. All that said, I do have some really rather nice ones, seeing as I’m so picky when it comes down to it.

Lets see now, a really pretty half sheer/half satin blush pink embroidered one (bra), I liked it so much, I bought it in cream also... a pretty pale yellow one... it's all sheer net with flowers embroidered in the same baby yellow color thread, (are you figuring out that I love bras with embroidery and lace on them? Good on you!) I hate plain bras. I have a few, but, those are for when I have to wear them. I've a pretty lavender one too. Funny, I don't have a red one. (bright red clashes with my hair... I can wear either Cherry red or burgundy red) MY FAVORITE bra right now? White shimmery satin, bridal glaring white with a beautiful design along the top of the cup all the way across each , ahem, cup..... with a pretty little bow where the strap meets the cup... I LOVE THIS BRA! I have begged the store-in writing!!- to bring more in other colors, or preferably black. I love it in general. So comfortable and pretty. I had a beautiful black cotton bra, which sounds totally boring... but... it had vibrant purple flowers and bright red rosebuds- with stems- embroidered all over it. It finally died, that bra. I was sad. I have a bad habit of killing bras. Sad but true. I can't believe I just wrote that long ass para about my bras. Oh well.

Now about my OCD….

Old habits die hard.... have you ever looked in those drawers in the Victoria's Secret Bra room before? If you have, then you know what my undie drawer looks like. All folded a certain way, standing up,(curved part up),in order of color, dark to light. (Actually, come to think of it, my undies are like that too..... by color, cotton's all together, then cotton with lace edging, then straight lace , then "the special ones".
My heavens that makes me sound anal retentive, doesn't it? I'm just Organized is all. It makes my life easier this way.(Arianna's clothes and stuff is like this too. My friend “A” is the same. Exactly the same as I am. When I saw her drawers one day when she was gathering some clothes to change into... I cracked up and fell over on her bed laughing my ass off.)

Yeah,I guess it kinda IS OCD meets Good Housekeeping & Victoria's Secret, when it comes to me, innit? Now that I think about it, I'm pretty anal about clothes being hung up too.

There is a store I shop at, and I love seriously LOAVE their hangers like crazy, so I ask for extra hangers! They give me now without my asking. Pant hangers and shirt hangers. They are thin, sleek, charcoal grey and have rubber stuff on the edges of the shirt hangers so that they don't slip off! Well hell. Holy Shit. Um, my closet is similar. yup. Casual tops-together, all similar colors together, then work shirts/blouses similar colors together....slacks, by color.... suits together.... OMG! OK! OK! SO I worked a lot of years in retail, so sue me.

Upon continued reflection, kitchen drawers kept in order (ie: can opener, peeler, accessories, and related stuff... rubber spatulas (for baking) metal spatulas for icing cakes, etc.. together. All cooking utensils in one drawer- separately... blah blah blah blah and so on.
· serving platters all together, pyrex stuff together, baking pans , etc....
· canned goods... like products together....
· I don't like things scattered all over the kitchen counters either. (call me silly, I like to actually SEE them)
· linen closet.... yuup, u guessed it, all towels together, by color... ditto for sheet sets. All blankets together. (Not by color, for some stupid reason but by THICKNESS!)

I'm actually pretty particular about the house. I like things in their place, pretty much. Not TOO anal about that, just like it to look neat. Maybe it's just the Libra in me, but I like things to look pretty and nice and aesthetically pleasing. Because of my asthma (ok and the cats) I'm so anti-dust it's hilarious. But it's for health reasons. I wasn't this bad till I moved here. (I clean the A/C filters every 2 weeks and disinfect them now, 10 months out of the year)

DID I neglect to mention that Arianna is not like me in this respect at all, despite all my very best efforts? Lets hope she grows into it, shall we?

In fact, she can rip apart a room in under 5 minutes. When I saw the state of her dresser drawers and closet, ok, and room in general, I almost had a breakdown. We ended up with a knock down drag out, with, in the end, me, physically and emotionally exhausted, supervising her re-doing everything that I had done..... I didn't touch NOTHING 2nd time around. They aren't in “order”, but at least they don't look like a litter of puppies got at them and strew them around her room.

*shudder, twitch*

Maybe the only person other than my friend "A" that would understand is Mindy. (from what I read on her blog about her childrens toy organization)
Yes, I know there is a cure for OCD, but the question is, do I really want to cure it?


cheryl b. said...

HA!HA!HA!HA! I just don't see how you can hold up boobs the size of my head with pretty bras!
My favorite customers at Castle were the men who came in to buy vibrators for their wife when they were obviously for themselves. Now I don't mean gay men, they never lied, I mean straight, married men who wanted their wives to use a stap-on. I sold more stap-ons then anyone else who worked there because I wasn't afraid to ask.

Scarlett Cyn said...


Thanks to Cheryl b. for yet another sex toy shop retail story! Honey, from today onwards, feel free to use my blog to post your stories whenever the mood strikes you! PLEASE??!!!??

About my breastesses vs. the pretty bras. It would appear that some wise person realized that we big bosomed women would also like pretty bras. Granted, they are quite few and far between, but you can bet your sweet ass that when I see one in my size, I snap it up! Heck yeah! The size of your head? Well now, that would depend on how big or small your head actually is! I will tell you though, they are heavy and it is quite painful on the shoulders. I personally think Pam Anderson is out of her Ffing mind, (I can only imagine her size, cause mine aren't THAT big) Maybe sillicone weighs less? I dunno.

I've also discovered that by hunting around in ladies shops;I'm talking like Layne Bryant, and there is one here from Italy that has clothes that are GORGEOUS! (where I have to get some tops & blouses, BTW since Cheryl b asked this also awhile back!)they have been known to bring beautiful bras in my size.

What the hell, inquiring minds wanted to know!

Rude Cactus said...

Ahhh, thank you for satistying the VS story request. Very entertaining :-)

Anonymous said...

Can we get back to the strap on story again?