Confession Time

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned....." wait, that's another kind of confession. Oh yeah, time for me to answer The Inquisition questions you so wonderfully left for me.

Well, you asked my darlings, and now I’m answering. There wasn’t many questions this time around, but I’m still gonna do it next week anyway. (Because I’m stubborn that way!)

My dearest Carrie Jo asked: ‘How old were you when you lost your virginity?’

I lost it at 18, Carrie Jo. Why so late? Well, it wasn’t for lack of opportunity, that’s for damn sure! There were always a couple of things that prevented me…. 1: The guy wasn’t right; 2: the timing was never right even if the guy was! 3: (and this, in retrospect, is hilarious as hell!) A combination of my Mama’s voice in my head saying that it was a 'gift' that can be given but one time, and to make sure it is given to the 'right' person. Well, that and my Catholic upbringing. I was also, funnily enough, terrified of becoming a statistic. You know, a teenage mother. Isn’t that a HOOT? Me, the ultimate infertile. Me, who ended up bust trying to get pregnant with Arianna. Me, who, when I was diagnosed with PCOS at 15, my gynae said "Don't worry about having children! You will be as fertile as the Napa Valley!" , that bitch. Funny, huh? Also remember, when I was a teenager, in the mid to late 80’s, this was when AIDS came on the scene and no one really knew the details of how it was passed and transmitted, etc, you know? So.

Because Carrie Jo was so prompt (and cause I was afraid I wouldn’t get another one), she got to ask me TWO questions this week!

Carrie Jo’s second question was: ‘How do you feel about tattoos?’

I think tattoos are really works of art, and I appreciate them as such. (For example, I love the Celtic tattoos that the singer Robbie Williams has had done on his biceps and the new tiger or dragon Angelina Jolie had done on her back is beautiful.) Would I get one? HELL NO. Remember, I have a little –ok, a huge one – phobia of needles. Needles and I do not get along well at all. Nosireebob. Nuh-uh. Another thing, something that looks good on you at 20 or 30, probably won’t look so hot as you age, if you know what I mean? I don’t like the way they fade over time and look smudgy. I think people that get tattoos are pretty brave also, cause me? My mom did cosmetic tattoo years ago and the lady that did it, her friend, was completely covered in tatts from the neck down, front and back. There isn’t enough liquor to make me get one. Seriously.

My pal Cheryl b.’s inquiring mind wanted to know if I had kissed another woman or done even more with one.

Uh, no honey, I haven’t. I’ve never kissed another woman (in the way you mean like I would kiss a man) and therefore, I haven’t done anything more intimate with another woman, because frankly, you don’t even get to second base with me without some quality kissing. And baby, I mean QUALITY.

I kiss my girlfriends, but its on the cheek, but a good one nonetheless. I’m famous for my hugs and kisses in greeting, btw.

Wait, does the lesbian that felt my ass up in a club count? Cause then, yeah. Cause I got my ass practically massaged in a crowded mixed club once. She disappeared in the crowd as soon as my head whipped around in shock. (I thought it was my boyfriend being frisky at first!) But it shouldn’t count, cause, I didn’t want her to do it, right?

And also, somewhere I worked some of my female coworkers (friends) were totally obsessed with my breasts and always had their hands on them. They would always touch and grab them if I wasn’t careful but usually they were quicker than me and would giggle like loons when they got past me. You know, like patting a dog hello? Yeah. Like that. They were not particularly endowed themselves, and oh-so-fascinated with mine and how, ‘soft and bouncy’. It would appear that my breasts are amazing even to the same sex.

Of course, as further proof of my shitty luck, it would happen that two of them ganged up on me at once and right then, the BIGGEST pervert ASSHAT Mgr walked in and caught them in the act. It was like his w*t dream come true. He looked all....... happy. This is the guy that used to get off on looking my toes and ankles and (heaven forbid the day I wore a knee length skirt) and growl about them all consumed with lust. *gag, retch, heave*. He grossed me out so much after then whole skirt thing, that the next day when I wore slacks to work, he came and leaned way over in front of my desk to look under it and then said loudly "Aw dammit all! You're wearing TROUSERS TODAY!". Man, did I want to go take a scalding hot shower right then. I stared at him mutely. Why? He was the Chairman's pet.

Anonymous (whomever you may be) asked me ‘Not counting Monster, do you like living in Bahrain or would you prefer to move back to the States?’ (like the way I made your two questions one?)

Well Anon, better late than never I say! Other than Monster (who is like an extra appendage) the quality of life here in Bahrain is nice. Keep in mind that I lived in a very hectic rush-rush city for most of my life in the US, hmmm? (Los Angeles) There are small town qualities I like about it while still being pretty cosmopolitan. It’s one of the reasons I moved here. Another thing I like? Crime rate is extremely low as to be almost non-existent.

But more and more, I find myself thinking of moving back home to the States. I am homesick in many ways. Maybe in a year or so I could move home, who knows? Hell if I know where I would move though! My father is very ill, and he lives in Florida. My Aunt is in Maryland. I grew up in LA, and though my mom is there now, she is planning to hopefully move back home to South Carolina. I have friends scattered all over the country. Where to move back TO is the question! I would, next time, like to live somewhere where you get to have all 4 seasons though and not so hectic rush-rush (but NOT the boonies, got it?), I think. Yeah, definitely got to have all 4 seasons. I don’t think I will live here in Bahrain forever. No.

Lets put it this way; I don’t want to be buried here. How’s that?

Well, that’s all of the inquisition you will get for today. If you have questions for me for next week, that will be answered on Tuesday again, please feel free to post for me either in the comments section of this or alternatively email me at Scarlett.Cyn@gmail.com !