10/19/2004

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Well, here I sit again, rummaging around on cnn.com (as usual!) and I happen upon yet another enthralling article….

‘Esquire Magazine Names Sexiest Woman’

Guess who it is? The title of this post should give you a big hint, really. No 1 is……………………. *drumroll*

Angelina Jolie. Big shocker there. (Not!) Esquire boys???? DUHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

These dorks at Esquire had to hold a POLL to figure this out! In all honesty, they could have just asked me. I would have been happy to tell them! Hell, I think she is PERFECT, elegant and gorgeous, if a little bit freaky. Ok, a lot freaky. I could stare at her for HOURS and I’m so very straight. I told Z last night as a matter of fact, “Hell, if there was someone to make me go lesbian, it would be Angelina!” He laughed and said “I don’t blame you.

Hallie Berry (aka “I’m a woman of color, but I neglected to mention that my mama is white as homogenized milk y’all!) was no 2. Did ANYONE see Ms Hallie in Monsters Ball? The part she won the OSCAR for? Good Lord. I can’t look at her the same anymore. Nope. Not after those s*x scenes with BillyBob (Ex-hubby of No 1). I was staring in open mouthed shock during the whole thing and all I could say to Z was….. “Gee, I’m so happy she won an Oscar for…. this!!”. Man, takes the term “cat in heat” to a whole another level. Maybe I’m blind, but I didn’t see ANY body patch on either of em in that love scene. Dayum.

Some dorks managed to get Britney Spears Federline in at no 3. Ewwwwww. She was cute, but now? She’s just po white trash. (Filthy rich, yes, but still po’) Don’t believe me? Check out SNARKYWOOD! (It is FANFUC*INGTABULOUS) I highly recommend this site!

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On another note… keep those questions coming! Cheryl b, as usual, has made me delve deep into my psyche (or something). You all still have some time to get your question in.

Cat, ARE YOU ON YOUR FAMOUS 12-hour shift? Ugh. Yes, you get a tardy slip. Get your question in when you can.

Answers tomorrow.

3 comments:

cheryl b. said...

You have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now. I had actually started to type "If you had to sleep with a female celebrity who would it be?" But then I thought "I'm sure she will say Angelina" so I erased it. That is so fucking funny.

Ollie said...

I am totally with you on this one 100%. Angelina is my hero. If I ever get that chance to pick a robot body, and they ask what I want it to look like.. Angelina. All the way. If that's sold out, I would take the Salma Hayek model.

But oh lordy yes. Britney is a landfill of trash from day one.

Indigo Wolf said...

I totally have a girl crush on Angelina too. Personally, I think her freakiness makes her that much more interesting. Regarding Britney: My husband says she should get out of the music business and just do porn. She'd be beter at it. I can't help but agree. You can tell from those pics that girl has been partying way too much. It shows in her face.

I once knew a woman who told her husband that if she ever had the chance she leave him for Torey Amos in half a heartbeat. And she was serious.
-Carrie Jo