The Refill

I have a funny little anecdote to share with y'all today. It is yet another instance of "I HAVE to blog this!!" as I am laughing my tail off and gasping for breath.

This evening Z had our two male friends, A (of the "you shoulda married ME" fame) and P over. They are both so much fun and so very sweet and just the right bit of naughty.

P started the evening off with Heineken and had a few until he decided to switch over to hot tea after eating. This is where my tale begins.

Towards the end of the evening, A and Z were talking off to one side and P was trapped with Monster sitting next to him and me opposite. Now P loves him some hot tea. He drinks TONS of it daily. So, being the good hostess I am, I noticed his teacup was empty. Up I stood, took the teapot in my left hand and stood in front of him and asked him "Would you like a refill?". He didn't answer me right away. In fact, he looked a little dazed and I thought perhaps he didn't hear me,so I asked again. Then I noticed that he heard me sort of, even though his eyes were still kind of glazed over.

How did I know this? Because he moved his teacup towards me… and held it directly under my right breast. And left it there, hovering. I looked down at the teacup and then at his face and I realized he was totally and completely unaware of what he was doing. In fact, I realized then what the glazed look was for: he was still gazing kind of dreamily at my breasts, which were basically eye level with him.

Because it was completely unintentional, I didn't take offense, but instead tried to establish eye contact with him while I started giggling. P then realized what he had done and jerked his hand back and IMMEDIATELY turned the most amazing shade of red. He started stammering an apology and I said, still laughing, "Well, they were there I suppose…" to which he stammered:'Um, tea… yeah tea, please. I'm sorry…." To which I, with my cheeky side fully raring to go said "I'm used to it...Oh, maybe you wanted milk with the tea?"….

I didn't think it was possible for him to get any redder than he was, but he managed a lovely lobster like red while we both dissolved into laughter.

By this time we were both doubled over with laughter and had a very hard time controlling it. He finally did get his tea and I continued the rest of the night asking him with a very naughty twinkle in my eye and a grin on my face:

"You sure you wouldn't like another refill, hon?" to which he would laugh and become pink again. We would both be chuckling and no one else had the slightest clue what we kept laughing at.

During one of these times, I looked at him and said "Don't be surprised to read about yourself on my blog tomorrow, because I HAVE to blog this!!"

Finally, the visit drew to a close and me, not being one to let a sleeping dog lie, gave him a hug goodbye and said "Well, no more refills for tonight at least. Maybe next time!"

I'm a stinker, aren't I? You know you would have done the same.

I'm not being mean. I've had bosses do this too, where I walk in to hand them something and they trail off mid-sentence, trying valiantly to tear their eyes away. I had one boss that never got used to it.

Mind you, I don't flaunt them or even wear very revealing blouses and tops, they are just there and you'd have to be blind not to see them. I'm used to it. But it still tickles me. It's as if grown men have never seen breasts before. Granted, they are some big breasts, but jeez. Come to think of it, my female friends are completely fascinated by them too. I used to get cornered by my female friends and they would poke them like kids poke a bowl of jello.

It really is comic. Instead of drooling over them, or abject fascination, they should feel sorry for me. It's a bitch to drag these things around, believe me. They weigh about 17 lbs combined, give or take a pound or two. I'm not joking. You have no idea how painful it is on the neck, shoulders and upper back to lug them around. I would be happy if I could reduce them to a D cup. *sigh*

Until then, I just have to bear with them and I really have only one thing left to say on this post…….

"Would anyone care for a refill?"

1 comment:

cheryl b. said...

I'll have what he's having!