Well, this is yet another amazing Monster story I have to regale you all with. But first, a reminder to get your Inquisition questions in before 12:01 Pacific Time Tuesday (which happens to be my anniversary, too)

Now, on to the absurdity of my day to day life things that make you wonder WHAT THE HELL?

Proof is what I'm offering you all today. Proof that I am totally justified in my fear of what Monster is capable of. Ok, that or that she is totally out of her f-fing mind.

I also happen to have a witness.

The other day, for NO GOOD REASON, I looked out Arianna's bedroom window and saw the strangest sight.

Monster in the garden with the big broom I use to sweep the front porch and walkways beating the hell out of a tree.

Yes, I said a TREE.

She had that broom in her hands, in the middle of the day, whacking the tree trunk with all her strength for about 5 minutes that I saw with a scary look on her face-yes, scarier than her USUAL look. (Isn't this some scary shit, y'all???) Nooshi is the witness to this insane shit.

She bear the crap out of the tree, kept right on swinging until she got tired, I suppose, cause she tossed the broom on the grass and stood there heaving for breath and shaking.


I told her son –you know, the one I'm married to?-about the tree abuse and he shrugged his shoulders and laughed. Am I alone in thinking this really isn't all that amusing? I mean, perhaps- OK… MOST LIKELY- I WAS THE DAMN TREE.

Today I was looking at my poor abused tree and at all the scars on the trunk as a result of her –is ass whoopin appropriate here?- abuse the other day. The tree is seriously fucked up people. It's sad. Shitload of gouges and scars and abuse. Why the tree? Hell if I know what brought that attack on.

No wonder I have nightmares every now and then of her stabbing me in my sleep repeatedly and smearing my blood on the walls, writing stuff, which is interesting in itself in that… she can't read or write.

It would seem that anything is possible, as I've always suspected. If anything ever happens to me, I expect you ALL to testify, dammit!

Hold me, I'm skeered.


Ollie said...

Uhhhhhhhh, yeah. I'm skeered too. That is skeery shit right there.

bre said...

i'd have the white coats come and monitor her onobtrusively as to show her real self.... she would prolly get locked away for life... (hums "they're coming to take me away haha, they're coming to take me away heehee")

w t offshore said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
hsbc offshore said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.