A Confession of a Different Sort

Well friends, I think I know how Dr. Frankenstein felt. "I've created a Monster!"

He was such a wussy. I've created TWO. Et tu, mo-fo? And absolutely shameless ones at that. You see, as I type, I'm sort of ashamed to admit that, well, Garfield has his fat, orangey-red stripey head and ONE paw in a 'school size' pack of Fritos and he is growling his ass off, my dears. Growling at who, you may ask? Certainly not me (he knows better!), but at Bandit who is crunching the one or two I gave him to get Garfield off his butt. Excecpt that now? Bandit likes them VERY MUCH, and so we have a bit of a standoff.

Those Fritos were orignially mine, or at least I thought they were. At least they let me have a couple of them.

Let me, you may ask. Well, yes. See, one minute, I had the little pack in my hand, the next thing I knew, Bandit was on my lap with one paw in the bag, which kind ruined the whole guilty pleasure junk food fix.

And it wasn't just any junk food fix, either. It was real, honest-to-goodness AMERICAN JUNK FOOD, which is pretty much non existant where I live. Sure, they have products like Lays potato chips and Cheetos, Doritos (ohmygoid! yum) and such, but they are DIFFERENT, and made usually in Saudi Arabia by companies licsenced to do so but honestly, they DO NOT TASTE THE SAME AT ALL. SO imaine my pitiful excitement to find a motherload of American junk food being stocked on the shelves of the little 7-11 style grocerey store down the street from my house? Whooooooo. Hot DAMN y'all. I wanted to hug the owner of the store, and while he is really nice and friendly and kind of hot, well, who wants gossip, ya know? Over real Cheetos and Sour Cream n-Onion Ruffles? I think not. So I settled for drooling in the aisle and carefully palpatating the bags for least amount of breakage. I WILL admit that I did a little wiggle of happiness at the sight of the bag of Roll'd Gold pretzels, though. (think I have a chance of getting this guy to bring Hostess products? Hmmmm.)

Damn, I love me some pretzels.

So, did I also mention that the cats, my boys, are also addicted to Cheetos also? As is, Bandit is naturally terrotorial, and if Garfield even sits within a foot of me in either direction, Bandit gets up in his face like "a-hole! My MAMA!", then proceeds to walk up my body, press his nose to mine while looking in my eyes, then settles himself on my chest jealous as hell. Imagine if I DARE to give some yummy stuff to Garfee? Yeah, Me, SO in trouble if I don't distribute evenly.

So,I suppose my only solution now is to hide and munch, huh?


On a different note.

By the way, questions? Any last questions? you've got about 10 hours to get them in.

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