I've Got A Bone To Pick
Yes, I surely do y'all.
Warning: This is not for the faint of heart, ie: Some MEN. Don't say I didn't warn you.. cause I JUST DID.
See, now I just KNOW that somewhere at Bayer Pharmaceuticals some MAN is sitting and laughing his ass off...daily. Asshat. But one day, a woman far braver and more irritated than I will stomp into Bayer and scream, shotgun in hand..... "Where's the sonofabitch that crated the Canestan pessary????!!!!" Wanna know WHY? I'll tell you, oh yes, I surely will!
Lets start at what triggered today's hissyfit of mine, shall we?
Well, you all know about my damn illness that's dragging on for the past week +, right? Well.... what you DON'T know is that somehow.. cause Im SO GODDAMN talented... my lymph nodes (glands) in my neck got infected. ie: each one swelled up the size of a big fat PLUM and became hard as a rock. So attractive and pleasant. NOT!! (Actuallym It hurts like a MO-FO) And NO, don't ask me how the hell I managed that, cause even my ENT has no damn IDEA. (Although he was really impressed with me)Talent, I guess. Anyhooo..... he (Doc) ordered a particulary nasty antibiotic injeciton to kick start me, and followed by SOME BIG HORSE TABS OF AMOXCILLIN (or for those of you in the UK, Augmentin). To head off ANY chance of an infection-you know, just to be safe-, ahem, in my nether regions..... Doctor Feelgood (cause he ALSO gave me some killer pain pills!heh.)prescribed me a one time dose of CANESTAN.. to be applied..well, INSERTED.. well, YOU KNOW! In my hoo hah. which is produced by BAYER Pharmetiuticals. Great. Fucking great. I've used this ONCE before.. many years ago. I was pissed then. I'm amazed now to think that some woman hasn't written to bitch at them to do a design alteration by now. Ok, the thing - the medicine -is in a tablet form. You know.. a PILL. It's HARD. Like candy. but that I could handle, maybe. My problem is this.....
THE GODAMN THING HAS SHARP EDGES. Of course it's small compared to OTHER things that go in there.. but... IF one has the slightest infection.. well, did you know that you swell ? No? Well trust me, you do. and this sharp thingie to put in? well.. use your imagination. Oh.. and it has to be put in exactly right. Would you care to know WHY? Cause if you don't, it could flip. sideways. Now both times I've used this I've thought "No way in HELL a woman created this. NO."
So, I've decided to send a little love letter to the ASSHATS at BAYER and see if I can't help my fellow woman.
Anyone want to join me?