What The HELL????

Dear fashion victims… I mean readers!! Yeaaah, READERS!

I’m sure some of you have noticed that some of the clothing styles have returned from the early 80’s. Yes, it just tickles me senseless to see some of the fashions that have weaseled their way back into mainstream teenage fashion. OK, and young adult too! Some of it is really well re-done. It all gives me wishful flashbacks to my young years. I never imagined my own daughter wearing some of the fashions I used to wear now… in 2004!

Remember the capris, but they aren’t really capris, cause they end right at the knee but then gather up on the sides with either elastic, or ties, or zippers? Yeah, I liked those, still do. Everytime I see Arianna wear the pants like this that I bought her ON PURPOSE, I get a stupid grin on my face!

Muscle shirts? Remember those? Yeah, I’m cool with that. Black rubber bracelets? Hell yeah I had tons of them. And if you are honest, you will admit that you did too! And the thick belts and the belts and bracelets with studs? Ahhhh yes, memory lane is calling! Even in some fashion magazines, I’m seeing 80’s makeup revisited… more, um, tastefully done, but still the same. On the bright side, so far I haven’t noticed any of those DYNASTY shoulder pads yet… but maybe I should bite my tongue?

You may wonder what I’m rambling on about? Why the title of this post? Well my darlings, let me enlighten you!

Yesterday, while out shopping with Z’s niece, who is MY AGE, we were wandering through a shoe store (naturally, since I have a serious addiction to shoes and handbags, much to my husband’s dismay). Strangely, I didn’t buy anything. But I digress….

So, while wandering around, we came upon sock displays. Ok. Fine. Oh these are cute! Blah blah, etc… Then my eyes drift downward…. niece’s apparently does too… she picks something off the rack, exactly what my eyes had become fixated on. She asks… “what the hell kind of socks are these?” I am afraid to touch them, dread and horror and realization slowly creeping into my consciousness. Finally, she shoves them into my hands for inspection. Guess what the hell they were? Were they socks? Knee socks? Um, no. NO! Any idea?

Leg warmers. Yeah, leg warmers. Many different colors and designs. “So what’s her damn problem?” you may think? Let me elaborate, shall I?

I live in Bahrain. It is a small island in the Persian Gulf off the coast of Saudi Arabia. It is a baby rat fart on the map. The daytime temperatures for the past days have been in the mid 140’s PLUS about 80% humidity! The evenings are much better at around 109-113 with about 90-97% humidity. Yes, as you may now be realizing, I live in hell! The temps will continue along this vein well into the end of September with the humidity getting even higher and the temperatures going so high that the weather people here begin to lie about it and not say it’s higher than 145 because if it gets hotter than that, outside labor will have to stop, and we can’t have that, now can we??? You know, humidity can get so high in fact, that early in the morning and at night, the air becomes very dense with it, like fog, so thick, you can’t see. Pea soup is an understatement.

Also, LEG WARMERS SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED IN THE COUNTRY, BECAUSE EVEN WITH THIS HEAT THERE ARE SOME REALLY STUPID-ASS PEOPLE THAT WILL WEAR THEM AND FORCE ME TO LAUGH HYSTERCAILLY AND POINT AT THEM IN PUBLIC PLACES. Ok, that and it’s just plain stupid.

Anyway, I had the sudden and overwhelming urge to start singing the theme to Flashdance!! I controlled it. Barely. I contented myself with laughing my ass off instead.

Don’t get me wrong; I will admit that I did wear them for a time in the 80’s. I carefully and very precisely arranged them and made damn sure they stayed that way, cause, well, that’s just how I am. (Apparently I’ve always been this way about socks and the like since I was a small child. My mom has told me that as young as about 2 and a half, I would insist on fixing my OWN SOCKS, making sure they were rolled or folded just so, and exactly alike, which would explain this vague memory I have of standing in front of a full length mirror in my bedroom at around age 3 or so, staring fixedly at my frilly socks in the mirror and repeatedly bending and fixing them to make sure they were even).

Anyway, that I wore legwarmers back in the 80’s, well, that was then. This is now. And I sure as hell wouldn’t dream of wearing them in hot weather.

I guess that I should be grateful that the funky rocker hair hasn’t come back, right? *shudder* Or, funky high heels worn with white little girl style frilly socks. *gag* Yeah, it couldn't be any worse, could it??

COULD IT???????