Its My Turn

MY turn is RIGHT!

My faithful readers will remember the lizard incident a couple of months ago, I am sure. Well, last night (ok, technically this morning, since it was 2:15am) after returning from a lovely evening with a large group of friends it was time to collapse in bed, or so I thought. A peaceful slumber was not to be mine, darlings!

I switched on the AirCon and moved to close the drapes so I could change….. and then all hell broke loose, so to speak. I pulled one side of the drapes closed, then reached for the other and twitched it closed and started to walk off when my excellent peripheral vision caught a movement on the top of the drapes by the curtain rod. It would seem that unfortunately (for me)I didn’t happen to see the damn LIZARD reposing on my drapes before shutting them.

My little domestic chore apparently dislodged it from it’s place and, well, it went apeshit and took a flying leap off the drapes as it tumbled from its perch……………

And almost landed on ME. ME! YES ME! The damn thing was airborne and I looked like it’s likely landing pad. I mean we were looking each other in the face, dangit! AW HELL NO! I took a huge leap backwards cussing up a storm something to the effect of “G*dammit, S*hit, So*nofa*Bit*h, Sh*t, Sh*t!!!” over and over again. The lizard fortunately landed on the nearby loveseat under the window that I was standing next to before my leap instead of on me, scrabbled over it and across, jumped off of the armrest onto the floor, ran across MY SHOES (ew! But my feet weren’t in them at least!) and shimmied up the wall and my dresser in a zig zag motion until I lost track of it.

I sort of tried to find it, but couldn’t, the dirty nasty thing. (Sorry Cheryl b. I know you love lizards but EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!)

I stupidly went to my husband and asked him to hunt and kill it while Nooshi, my houseguest chanted “YEAH, KILL IT!” since she loves the damn things about as much as I do, apparently. All together now, what did he say?

“No way! Are you joking?” Figures. I asked a few more times before I delivered my coup de grace….

“Wel, just remember what happed last time there was a lizard loose in the room you refused to find…. You know, it will probably be waiting for you in the sink in the morning when you go to shave and brush your teeth!”

Why couldn’t it have jumped at him instead? Ugh. Gee, and how was your day?


Indigo Wolf said...

That's so funny. I just read the original posts about the lizard for the first time yesterday. By the way, I like lizzards too. And I also grew up in Southern California (Lakeside, East County San Diego)My brother actualoly gave me a lizard for my birthday once and I loved it! My day yesterday was a sad one because monkey boy won the elction. Made me mad at my fellow americans. Oh well. Life shall go on...
-Carrie Jo

Anonymous said...

We all have our lizards to slay!


cheryl b. said...

"Monkey boy" Hahahahahaha, oh I am so calling him that from now on. Lizards like curtains a lot. When I was in third grade my best friends mom called me freaking the fuck out because Nick's lizard had gotten out of it's cage and she couldn't get off of her bedroom curtains (she might have had better luck had she been willing to touch it).