Feels SO Good

I spent an interesting afternoon with a darling, wonderful male that made my heart sing today.

He is so charming and irresistible with an imploring smile I couldn't refuse, so I did as he so obviously wanted and took him in my arms. He insisted on being right next to me and didn't want to share me at all… with anyone. He gave me those 'sad puppy' eyes until he had me all to himself. Who can resist that, I ask you? I certainly can't, that's for sure!

So there I sat on the sofa, sometimes touching his face, others stroking his soft and silky black hair. For a time, I thought he would be content just to be so close to me as I was content with him held so close to my body, but no. As with most of his sex, it was just the beginning, sort of.

He slowly pulled back ever so slightly, looked in my eyes and smiled. Then he slid down a bit and rested his head on my chest. I couldn't help but smile at this to myself. Next thing I knew, he turned his head and buried his face in my cleavage after having slightly tugged aside my v-neck sweater so that he could rest his face against my skin. It seemed as if he was memorizing the scent of my skin. Every so often he would pull back, stare at my face with the sweetest smile, gaze into my eyes searchingly, then lay back down and adjust his position on my breasts. Sometimes he would rest his cheek there, skin to skin and look off into space, deep in his own thoughts. Occasionally he would sigh contentedly

He certainly seemed at peace resting his head just above my heart, relaxed and pliant and I wondered what his thoughts were even as his wandering hands had already moved from touching my hair and stroking my arms to finally slip inside my sweater's neckline just to rest there on the curve of my breast. We lay like this for at least a half an hour content and peaceful with me occasionally leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

Laying like this with him made me ache for something I'm afraid I might never be able to have, yet that didn't make me enjoy this time any less.

For someone that has had such a rough time of things lately, (one of my best friends in the whole world has jokingly referred to my life at present as a War) I find that I have to snatch moments of happiness wherever I can find them.

Today I found such a moment of happiness with my 7-month old nephew Khalid, the only boy of the triplets I love so much it hurts my soul, nestled in my arms, head resting against my breasts, sighing every now and then and rubbing his footsie clad feet against me softly, listening to my heartbeat for a time.

This time with Khalid was stolen time because his sister Talya demanded her own time and is very territorial with me. I am HERS and she doesn't like to share. I had them almost all to myself since the triplets parents are gone for a week with their big sister aged 3.

I must admit one thing about him. If he is this charming and such a ladies man at 7 months, what in the hell will he be like at 17? At 27?

Oh never mind, I'll just enjoy my time with him and his two sisters while I can and pray that someday soon, when my 'war' with life has finally come to a time of Peace, that I will be able to hold my own little son or daughter (or both if I ended up with twins!) in my arms as much as I want and shower the love I have to give on my own child.

Until then, I must remember to repeat to myself regularly :"Patience is a virtue and will be rewarded".

*Sigh*